


Childs Play

by just_a_sunflower_girl



Series: Adventures In Childhood [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, No beta we die like dehydrated worms, On semi permanent hiatus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-01-12 22:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 53,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18455870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_a_sunflower_girl/pseuds/just_a_sunflower_girl
Summary: “What do you mean there’s no solution?” Diego asks, staring at mom. They were all staring at Mom, except for Five. He looked like he was about to throw himself into oncoming traffic.“She means i’m stuck like this” Five grumbles.___Currently on semi permanent hiatus. Please check chapter 34 for more information





	1. Gossip

**Author's Note:**

> ok! next story! this one is just gonna be baby Five being cute with his family with like, snail pace side plot of finding a solution. leave suggestions for anything you wanna see happen, I'll be happy to write them

“What do you mean there’s no solution?” Diego asks, staring at mom. They were all staring at Mom, except for Five. He looked like he was about to throw himself into oncoming traffic.

 

“She means i’m stuck like this” Five grumbles. Grace nods sagely.

 

“For the foreseeable future, yes” she says “there also may be side effects to your state. You have already displayed some”

 

“Like?” Luther prompts

 

“Impaired motor functions and emotional instability” Grace says and Five drops his head onto Vanya’s shoulder.

 

“Can we deal with this later?” he mumbles. He’s exhausted and wired. His arm was throbbing and he just wanted to be with his siblings.

 

“Yeah, we can” Allison says, looking to Five “do you want to go back to sleep?” she asks.

 

He doesn’t. Not really. Despite the burning behind his eyes and the oncoming headache, he really didn’t want to go to sleep. At least not yet, not alone.

 

“Can we watch a movie?” he asks, voice so very quiet.

 

Movies were a new thing for him, Reginald had never been a fan, the apocalypse didn’t have very many theatres and he’d always been so busy at the commission he’d never gotten the chance to really see any. He’d liked watching the movie with Vanya, even if he wasn’t completely focused on it.

 

Allison smiles at him, all motherly and sweet while she nods

 

“Yeah, we can do that. Any requests?” Five shrugs

 

“I wanna see one of yours” he mumbles, head leant on Vanya’s shoulder. Allison pauses

 

“What do you mean?” she asks, eyes flicking to Vanya in brief panic

 

“I wanna see one of the movies you’re in” Five repeats. Allison makes an odd strangled noise

 

“Five they aren’t exactly family time movies” she says, Klaus whistles of to the side and Allison glares at him

 

“I got shot at a few hours ago, i don’t care about violence” Five says, Allison flicks her eyes back to Vanya, then Five, then Vanya again.

 

“That’s not what i meant” she says, then makes a few awkward “uhm” noises while she tries to explain what she did mean.

 

Klaus puts her out of her misery.

 

“She means that most of her movies involve some sexy times with a six pack” he says joyfully, absolutely delighted. Allison glares at him.

 

“I star in romance movies, what were you expecting?” she asks. Vanya laughs quietly, her hand was still in Five’s hair.

 

“Weren’t you in a disney movie a little while ago?” Vanya says, Five’s eyes crinkle.

 

“Yeah, i had a scene in a disney movie” Allison says slowly “do we even have it here?”

 

“Luther has all of your movies somewhere” Klaus supplies “Ben says they’re in the cabinet under the TV. what a surprisingly normal place to keep your movies”

 

Luther nods, opening the cabinet. Movies lined the inside neatly, half of the bottom shelf were all Allisons movies.

 

“That would be so creepy if you weren’t my brother” she hums, looking through them “how did you even get this many movies? Dad hated anything that resembled regular fun”

 

“Most of them were gifts, fans sent them in. every time one of your movies came out someone would send them in, usually a lot of people. I’d hide one in my room until dad was asleep or out. Then i’d put it in here, it’s not like he ever checked it”

 

“Have you watched them?” Luther shrugs, a little sheepish

 

“Not really”

 

Allison picks out the disney movie.

 

“I’ll go make some popcorn” Mom says, smiling.

 

* * *

 

Five ends up in the middle of Vanya and Allison on the couch, using Vanya’s lap as a pillow while she played with his hair absently. Klaus was laying on the floor with pillows strewn around him, at some point he’d convinced Diego to join him. Luther sat in one of the arm chairs, Mom was in the other.

 

They end up falling asleep before Allison's character shows up, everyone but Five, Mom and Allison.

 

“Is that you?” he asks quietly, just to be sure once he hears her voice on the screen. Allison nods

 

“Yeah, that’s me”

 

Five hums.

 

They watch the rest of the movie in relative silence. Five falls asleep before the end credits roll.

 

* * *

 

Five hears a shrill buzzing, followed by everyone groaning and Allison untangling herself from the dog pile they had morphed into.

 

“Allison shut your fucking phone off” Diego grumbles, his face half pressed into a pillow. Mom was gone now, presumably at her charging station.

 

Klaus throws a pillow at her. She flips him off.

 

“Hello, this is Allison Hargreeves speaking” the rest of her conversation is cut off as she jumps up the stairs two at a time to get away from them.

 

He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes. His arm stings at the movement, he sucks in his breath through his teeth. Vanya blows the hair that had fallen into her eyes out of her face and stretches.

 

“I need coffee” she mumbles tiredly, but doesn’t move to stand up.

 

“Who’s calling so early anyway?’ Klaus groans. “Oh it’s not?” he mumbles, presumably answering Ben.

 

“It’s like 11 AM, not early” he mumbles, his eyes drifting back shut.

 

Then they hear Allisons boots on the stairs

 

“Hey, i need one of you to pretend to be Five’s parent” she says, her phone still clutched in her hand and a look of mild contempt and annoyance on her face. Everyone sits up, gearing for whatever nonsense was about to go down.

 

“Um..why?” Vanya asks, her face resting in her hand. Allison sighs in aggravation.

 

“Some gossip magazine ran a story about Five being my secret love child, now the media’s going crazy and my publicist is yelling at me” Klaus snickers

 

“Shut up” Allison says, glaring at him and passing her phone to Vanya “that’s the article”

 

“Allison Hargreeves, affair, divorce and baby” she reads outloud, laughing a little at the ridiculousness “Allison Hargreeves was spotted in her hometown, toting around a little boy around the age of four”

 

Klaus snorts

 

“Toting around, like he’s a fucking handbag” he mumbles, laughing. Vanya continues, skipping through the article.

 

“Blah blah blah, Allison had an affair that resulted in a child. Blah blah blah. Could this be the reason for her and patricks divorce?” Vanya blinks, before laughing “jesus christ, what the hell was that?”

 

“Wait did you never tell the media why you and patrick divorced?” Diego asks

 

“No, why would we?” Diego shrugs “that’s not the point anyway. Someone pretend to be Five’s parent so i can make an instagram post or something about my favourite nephew”

 

“Why? Let the rumours spread” Klaus says, starfishing out across the floor for emphasis.

 

“My publicist will yell at me more, so no” Allison turns to Five, “pick one to be your parent” she says

 

“Why should i? Five asks, grinning at Allison

 

“I don’t know, i’ll buy you a puppy” Five rolls his eyes

 

“No”

 

“Five, you are my favourite brother” Allison starts

 

“Hey!” Klaus says

 

“Please, stop being a gremlin for 5 minutes and pick someone to be your parent” she says. Five snorts

 

“Vanya”

 

“Wow, shocker” Diego mumbles. Vanya groans

“Can’t you choose Klaus?” she asks. Five shakes his head

 

“If one of you has to be my pretend parent, it’s going to be the most competent of you” Five says, the coldness of his words completely negated by the fact that he is leaning against Vanya.

 

“Besides, you’ve been acting like his mother since he got scienced into a baby” Klaus says, sitting up and groaning “do you think Mom’s made breakfast or do you think it’s a free for all?” he mumbles.

 

“I’ve made breakfast” Klaus screams and jumps. Mom was standing in the doorway smiling.

 

“Christ! You scared me!”

 

“I noticed” Grace says, walking into the room “breakfast is ready, if you’re hungry” she says

 

Klaus is up instantly, on his way to the kitchen, thanking Mom on his way.

 

The others follow slowly, still half asleep.

 

Five walks with Vanya, her hand held loosely in his.

  



	2. Five is the illegitimate child of Jake Gyllenhaal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll give you 20 dollars if you let me take the photo” Allison says
> 
> “What happened to buying me a puppy” 
> 
> Allison makes a noise Five can only describe as inhuman screeching and puts her head on the table. Diego laughs at her.
> 
> __
> 
> Five is a gremlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did I base the entire chapter off of that one scene where Five busts down Klaus' door and tells him to come save the world with him? yes. 
> 
> do I regret it? absolutely not, this was a joy to write
> 
> shout out to awkwardblogger who requested the siblings and Five going to the park.

“Five just let me take a picture” Allison grumbled. 

 

“No” Five says, putting a piece of toast in his mouth and chewing. Every attempt that Allison had made so far had been thwarted by Five putting his middle finger up whenever she took the photo. 

 

“You’re killing me” Allison says, crossing her arms “you’re killing your sister”

 

“What a shame” Five says and Allison scrunches her nose at him.

 

“Hey Five, if you keep on being a contrary little bastard i’ll give you 5 bucks” Klaus says through a mouthful of waffles. Five rolls his eyes

 

“That implies you have 5 dollars” Five snarks

 

“I’ll give you 20 dollars if you let me take the photo” Allison says

 

“What happened to buying me a puppy” Allison makes a noise Five can only describe as inhuman screeching and puts her head on the table. Diego laughs at her.

 

“Vanya can i have some of your coffee?” Five asks

 

“No”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It’s my coffee, get your own” Vanya says, raising the mug to her lips slowly. Allison looks up 

 

“Five you can’t have coffee, you’re four” she says

 

“Only physically” Five retorts

 

“Physically is why it matters. If it makes you feel any better Vanya probably shouldn’t have coffee either” Diego says. Vanya holds her coffee closer to her chest

 

“Then why don’t you stop her from drinking it” Five challenges. Diego shakes his head

 

“Because she can snap my neck by blinking” he says, shoveling eggs into his mouth. Disgusting. 

 

“I can snap your neck too you know” he could. Well, he knows how to at least.

 

“Not like this you can’t” Diego says, Five flips him off. Klaus gasps 

 

“Who taught you that!” he wags his finger to the empty chair beside him “i bet it was you Ben, such a terrible influence” 

 

Five flips him off too and Ben, just for give measure. 

 

* * *

 

Five steals another one of Diego's knives during breakfast but Mom takes it away while she’s changing the bandage on his arm. 

 

“That one is Diego’s” she says, putting it to the side 

 

“Well i don’t have one”

 

“Maybe you should ask Diego if you can borrow his knife instead of just taking it” she suggest and Five wrinkles his nose. Grace smiles at him, smoothing the bandage down gently. 

 

“There, all done” she says “at this rate you’ll be better in no time” 

 

She picks up the knife and begins to leave. 

 

“Mom?” he asks, before she leaves his room. she pauses in the doorway, turning around to face him

 

“Yes Five?” she asks, 

 

“Can we go somewhere?”

 

“Of course we can” she says, grinning brightly “where would you like to go?”

 

“It’s a surprise” Five says. Grace nods. 

 

“Should i pack lunch?” Five nods, sliding off his bed

 

“I’m going to go get the others” he says. Mom nods, smiling as he passes her. 

 

* * *

 

“Diego!” Five appears in front of Diego in his room. Diego jumps and almost drops the knife he’s holding. 

 

“Jesus Five! Don’t do that!”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Jump into my room randomly. Most people knock” Five looks confused.

 

“I didn’t jump” he silent for a little while “i didn’t jump on purpose” he corrects. 

 

Diego remembers Five’s powers a four. He jumped everywhere without meaning to. He’d want to be the first to get somewhere and he’d accidentally jump in front of the group or he’d be distracted and thinking about going somewhere and blink there by accident. 

 

Reginald hadn’t been very fond of it. 

 

Diego also remembers Five getting handcuffed to his chair during dinners and to his bed at night, so he wouldn’t jump to one of their rooms when he got scared of the dark. Five hadn't learnt how to jump out of restraints until he was six. 

 

“That’s not important anyway. We’re taking mom to the park” Five says, matter of factly. Diego looks at him 

 

“The one you got the rocks from?” he asks and Five nods

 

“Yes”

 

“Who’s coming?” Diego asks

 

“All of us. Come on” Five doesn’t wait for Diego to follow him. 

 

* * *

 

Five walks into the living room with Diego on his heels looking like he was on a mission. 

 

Colour Klaus intrigued. 

 

“Wow, it’s knife boy and his trusty sidekick manchild! What are you two up to?” Five turns to face him 

 

“Klaus, we’re going to the park. You’re coming, so’s Ben” Five doesn’t ask, or request. Just demands. Like Klaus is going to say no.

 

Ben is grinning, 

 

“He looks excited” Ben says. Oddly enough, Five does look excited at the prospect of going to the park. 

 

“Sure, i haven’t got anything better to do” Klaus stands, trailing after Five as he continues through the house. 

 

They find Luther next, in Reginalds study surrounded by books. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Diego asks as Luther looks up

 

“Sorting out the books” he says. Klaus looks at him with bemusement

 

“Why?” he asks. Luther shrugs

 

“I don’t know, it was something to do” 

 

“That’s just sad. Get a hobby big guy” Klaus says

 

“We’re going to the park, come on” Five says. Luther looks confused.

 

“What?”

 

“Get up, we’re taking mom to the park. Everyone’s coming” Five repeats

 

“Yeah, King Five is demanding it” Klaus teases 

 

“Shut up Klaus” Five says “Luther, hurry up” 

 

Luther glances at Diego who shrugs. Five is already half way down the hall. 

 

Luther follows them. 

 

* * *

 

Allison is in the kitchen on her laptop. 

 

“People are so stupid” she mumbles when they walk in. she turns to Five “Congratulations, you’re father is either jake gyllenhaal or the third hemsworth brother” 

 

“There’s a third hemsworth brother?” Klaus asks. Allison snorts. 

 

“That’s better than my actual father” Five says with amusement “why them?”

 

“No idea, i’ve never interacted with either of them” Allison shrugs. “Do you guys need something?”

 

“Yeah. Five’s on a mission to take mom to the park and he’s making all of us come too” Diego says, Allison smiles 

 

“Is that why mom was looking for a picnic basket?”

 

“She doesn’t know we’re going to the park, it’s a surprise. You can’t tell her” Five says. Allison nods solemnly 

 

“Promise i won’t. When are we leaving?”

 

“Once we find Vanya” Five says. Allison nods

 

“I think she went to the library, something about the olympics and tennis” 

 

“Is tennis even an olympic sport?” Klaus asks, Five shrugs, turning on his heel on his way to the library. 

 

Allison shuts off her laptop and joins the gaggle of older siblings following Five.

 

* * *

 

Vanya runs into Luther on her way out of the library, she pauses to blink at them. 

 

“What’s going on?” she asks. Klaus sneaks behind her and lifts her up. 

 

“This is a kidnapping” he says through her surprised shriek. 

 

“Klaus put me down!” she shouts, kicking her legs out as Klaus carries her down the hall

 

“Nope, i’m under Five’s orders” he says cheerfully. Five rolls his eyes

 

“I did not tell him to do that” he defends. Klaus drops Vanya back onto her feet at the top of the stairs, the others are all laughing at her frazzled expression as she punches Klaus in the arm. 

 

“Why?” she questions, punching Klaus again while he cackles. 

 

“Five’s demanding we go to the park with him and mom and i thought it was funny” 

 

Vanya sighs, closing her eyes and pinching her nose. 

 

“You’re an idiot. You are aware i can murder you?”

 

“Yes, yes, old news” Klaus says, with a wave of his hand “new, better news; Five is either jake gyllenhaal or the third hemsworth brothers illegitimate child” 

 

Vanya snorts

 

“Ok then” she says. Beginning down the stairs “what park are we going to?”

 

“The one down the road where the old people feed the pigeons” Five says.

 

Vanya nods. Mom is already waiting by the door with her coat on and picnic basket in hand. 

 

“Are we all ready?” she asks. 

 

a chorus of “yes” follow. 

  
  



	3. Family Picnics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five tugs Mom along by the hand, leading them through the street and park gate. Diego had taken the picnic basket from mom, allowing her to keep pace as Five pulled her forward.
> 
> ____
> 
> Five goes rock hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to you by that one time when I was four and fell in a frog pond and then cried for like 3 hours

Five tugs Mom along by the hand, leading them through the street and park gate. Diego had taken the picnic basket from mom, allowing her to keep pace as Five pulled her forward. She was smiling brightly at him, not that he seemed to notice as he dodged around other pedestrians.

 

“We have to find you a rock” Five says, veering off the pathway, through to a small clearing with a big tree in it. 

 

“A rock?” she asks and Five nodded

 

“I got everyone else one the last time i was here” he says, pulling Mom over to the tree and dropping onto the dirt, beginning to dig through it with his fingers 

 

“you get to pick yours” he says. Mom nods with a kind smile, sitting beside him gently. 

 

“Well, we better start looking” she says gently.

 

Allison and Vanya set up the picnic blanket next to them, Diego sitting by mom while Klaus starts doing handstands on the grass. 

 

“Luther! Come do yoga with me!” Klaus shouts. Luther stands by Klaus looking uncomfortable 

 

“Handstands aren’t yoga” Luther says

 

“Then do the tree pose” Klaus flips onto his feet and into the tree pose, grinning at Luther. “Vanya, you do yoga now right? Come be our yoga instructor, Ben says your great at it!” 

 

Vanya snorts

 

“I’m good” she calls. Klaus pouts, rolling into a cartwheel. 

 

Allison watches on in amusement. 

 

“Do you think Klaus is about to start using Luther as a jungle gym?” she asks to Vanya. 

 

“Oh yeah, definitely” Vanya says, looking around the park and breathing deeply. “This place is really nice” she hums 

 

“Yeah, it is” Allison turns her head to Five, who has an ever growing pile of rocks beside him “don’t you think you have enough rocks?” she asks

 

Five looks up and shakes his head

 

“No, it has to be the right rock” he says, turning back to his digging. Allison looks to Vanya

 

“What does that even mean?” she asks, Vanya shrugs

 

“I guess he just wants to find the perfect rock for mom” she says, no more in the know than Allison. 

 

* * *

 

“Vanya i can’t find mom a rock” Five says, coming to sit beside Vanya looking dejected. 

 

Mom had stopped looking a little while ago to set up the food she had packed, promising Five she’d help him look again once she was finished.

 

“Maybe because your only looking in one spot, the pond over there probably has some cool rocks mom will like” Vanya says, holding her hand out for him to take “come on, i’ll help you look” 

 

She stands, leading the way with Five following behind her slowly, apparently not confident he would find the rock he was looking for. 

 

They walk past Klaus and Allison, who were in the middle of what Vanya thinks is a handstand competition with Diego and Luther cheering them on. 

 

“Children” she hears Five mutter, as if he’s not the one who just spent 20 minutes digging in the dirt in search of rocks.

 

The pond had a shallow bay of pebbles, all shiny from the water. A few had moss growing on them. Five poked at one of the larger moss covered rocks with fascination. 

 

He reaches into the pond to pick up a rock, his sleeve narrowly avoiding getting wet.

 

Vanya takes Five’s wrist and rolls up the sleeves of his cardigan, earning her a mild whine of displeasure when it keeps him from picking up the rocks he wanted. 

 

“So what kind of rock are you looking for?” she asks. Five shrugs

 

“I don’t know. A pretty one, like mom” he says vaguely, picking one out of the water and inspecting it briefly before dropping it back in. Vanya nodded at him, picking one up and showing it to him. 

 

He shook his head, his mouth twisted into a half pout. 

 

He reaches for another one, further into the pond then the rest, putting his foot forward so he could extend his arm further. That turns out to be a mistake, his shoe slipping on the mud and sending him forward into the pond.

 

The water is shallow and Five managed to stick his hands out and prevent himself from falling flat on his face, so only his jeans and shoes take any real damage. 

 

Vanya doesn’t know what she expects, maybe crying or swearing. 

 

“Are you ok?” she asks, lifting him out of the water gently. He grins at her, holding his hand and showing her the light blue rock in his palm proudly 

 

“I got it” he says and Vanya laughs. That wasn’t what she was expecting but she’d take it over crying.  

 

“It’s pretty, come on, let's go give it to mom” 

 

* * *

 

“Oh dear, what happened?” Mom asks when they appear in front of her. Five shoves the rock in her direction

 

“I found your rock” he says. Mom takes it gently, smiling softly 

 

“Thank you Five, it’s beautiful” Five grins, dimples and teeth on display. Mom turns to Vanya to show her “Isn’t it beautiful” 

 

Vanya nods 

 

“It’s gorgeous”

 

“Why are your jeans wet dear?” Mom asks

 

“Five fell in the pond” Vanya says, taking a seat beside mom while the others make their way over slowly. The food was all set out on the blanket. 

 

“Oh dear, are you ok?” mom asks, Five rolls his eyes at Vanya

 

“I’m fine” he says, walking around to sit beside Vanya but pausing and pulling a face “Vanya my shoes feel gross” he says. He says it more as a statement than a complaint but Vanya can get the intent pretty clear. 

 

“It’s because your socks are wet, just take them off” she says absently as Five sits down. He undoes his shoes and kicks them off to the side, pulling his socks off next and throwing them in the same general direction as Allison sits down. 

 

“Five where are your shoes?” she asks. Luther, Klaus and Diego all sitting around the edges of the blanket 

 

“They got wet” he says, not elaborating any further and reaching for a sandwich. Mom stops him, handing him a wet wipe first

 

“You were all playing in the dirt, please wipe your hands before you eat” she says sweetly, putting the box of wipes in the middle of the blanket so they can all take one. 

 

* * *

 

Five doesn’t eat very much. Just a few sandwich pieces and some fruit. Mom makes him drink some water as well. 

 

He sits while the others eat, listening to their conversations. 

 

Allison talks about Claire and how she won the handstand competition between her Klaus and Vanya talks about the book she had been reading before they came. Klaus tells Vanya that Ben thinks it’s a good book and he tells Allison that she’s a cheat. Mom shows them all the rock that Five gabe her, grinning sweetly as she does. 

 

He doesn’t exactly mean to fall asleep but he doesn’t prevent it, letting the combination of the afternoon sun and his siblings presence lure him into a comfortable sleep.

 

* * *

 

Five falls asleep on the picnic blanket, his head dropping onto Vanya’s arm suddenly drawing everyone’s attention. Klaus giggles awwing at the sight. 

 

“He looks like such an angel in his sleep” Klaus murmurs as Vanya adjusts Five so that his head is in her lap. 

 

“Hey Allison, now would be a good time to get that picture you were bugging Five about” Diego says “you’ve got him and his fake mom in it” 

 

Allison shakes her head

 

“Not happening, he’ll murder me in my sleep” she says, taking out her phone anyway “i do think this is cute though” 

 

KLaus laughs, leaning over her shoulder to inspect the picture 

 

“Please send that to me, i’m begging you Alli” he says. Vanya cranes her neck to see and Allison flips her phone around for her. Vanya smiles

 

“That is a cute picture” she says gently “send it to me as well”

 

Allison grins.

  
  



	4. apple slices and crackers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don’t leave the park until the sun starts to set, Five still dozing on Vanya’s lap while the others spoke quietly.
> 
> ___
> 
> Five sleeps. sometimes sleeping isn't great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crackers suck, you heard it here first

They don’t leave the park until the sun starts to set, Five still dozing on Vanya’s lap while the others spoke quietly. 

 

“Can someone else carry him?” Vanya asks, 

 

“Shouldn’t we just wake him up or something? He’s been sleeping for ages” Klaus says, going to poke Five in the cheek only to be stopped by Allison

 

“He got kidnapped and shot yesterday, let him sleep for as long as he wants” she says, as Diego lifts Five off of Vanya’s lap, adjusting him so that Five’s head was resting on his shoulder. 

 

“Thank you Diego” Vanya says, standing up and wincing a little at the tingling that shoots up her leg. Diego grunts at her, offering his hand to help mom up. She takes it with a smile. 

 

Luther carries the picnic basket this time, Vanya carries Five’s shoes.

 

“Why’d he take them off anyway?” Allison asks as they begin to walk back home 

 

“Oh, he fell in the pond while we were looking for a rock for mom” Vanya says “he said they felt gross so i told him to just take them off” 

 

Allison laughs. 

 

“Claire fell in a duck pond once when she was younger, she got all wet and she scared all the ducks away” she says and Vanya laughs a little. 

 

“I can’t wait to meet her” she says gently and Allison nods, small smile on her face. 

 

“I can’t wait for you to meet her either” she says.

 

* * *

 

Five doesn’t wake up at all on the way home or once they’re back inside the academy. 

 

Diego puts him on the couch, covering him half heartedly with a blanket. The others all gather around the couch in an awkward semi circle. 

 

“Do you think he’ll sleep all the way through the night?” he asks, eyeing Five with what Vanya thinks might be concern but could also just be confusion 

 

“Maybe, he’s probably really tired. I doubt he got a great sleep in the infirmary and he wasn’t asleep for very long after the movie ended” Allison says

 

“Should we wake him up for dinner?” Klaus asks, leaning his elbows on the back of the couch with his chin in his hands. Allison shrugs. 

 

“We had a pretty late lunch” Vanya says, “we’ll just see if he wakes up himself or not”

 

The others seem to agree with her, leaving them all standing awkwardly around Five.

 

“So, who wants to watch some of Allisons less family friendly movies now that Five is conked out” Klaus asks. Allison throws a pillow at the side of his head. 

 

* * *

 

The air was heavy, a thick layer of ash falling from the sky. It was suffocating. He breathed it in, choking and sputtering as his lungs burned. 

 

He was back. He couldn’t be back. How was he back.

 

Maybe it had been The Handler. Maybe she had plucked him out of the time stream and dropped him right back here, his own personal hell. 

 

He choked on the ash and the lump in his throat. 

 

Red was staining his hands, hot and wet, dripping onto the rubble and debris. It wasn’t his blood.

 

His family was around him. Not as they had been, not crushed to death, buried under rubble and ash. This was worse. 

 

They lay, broken and bleeding. He’d done this to them. 

 

He choked, tears mixing with ash and screaming to a deaf world. 

 

The Handlers hand was in his, the blood on his hand stained her lace glove. She was smiling at him with her red lipstick, that he doesn’t think his lipstick at all. 

 

It smears and drips and her smile changes into something wicked

 

There’s a gun in his hand. Trained on Vanya. 

 

The Handler holds his hand with blood stained lace. 

 

He pulls the trigger. 

 

* * *

 

Five jerks up, a scream caught in his throat. 

 

He was alone, sitting on the couch with a blanket kicked into a twisted heap at his feet. His breath shuddered. It was dark, Five couldn’t make out of the clock but he could make an educated guess and say that it was late.

 

He pulled his knees to his chest, his hands trembling and his breath shaking. 

 

It was quiet. The loudest thing in the room was Fives gasping breaths and strangled cries. He tried to even out his breathing only to stutter and choke, bringing on more tears. He stuck his fist in his mouth, biting down to muffle the sounds.

 

“Five?” the light is flipped on, illuminating the room quickly. Vanya is in the doorway, in her pajamas. Five’s mind flashes back to his dream. He’d shot her. He cries harder. 

 

“Five, hey” she’s beside him, gently guiding his hands away from his face “hey, look at me” she says gently. He does, blinking at her with blood shot eyes, tears still running down his face

 

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Five lurches forward, clinging onto Vanya’s pajama shirt and crying. She was here, breathing and alive. The Handler was gone. They were all safe.

 

Vanya wraps her arms around him gently, pulling him closer to her, shushing him gently. 

 

“What happened?” she asks, her hand stroking his hair slowly.

 

“I had a nightmare” it comes out broken, his breathing stuttering and the words getting caught in his throat. Vanya wipes his face gently. 

 

“It’s ok” she says “it was just a dream, your ok now” 

 

Five breaths in. then out. then in. then out. Matching Vanya’s steadily. She runs her hand through his hair, swaying them in time to their breathing. He pushes away from her gently. 

 

“Are you ok?” she asks, watching him wipe his face. He nods. He didn’t feel ok but the tears had stopped and that was good enough. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

 

“No” he says, Vanya nods.

 

“Come on, let’s go back to your room. You can change into some pajamas” she says, standing from the couch and offering her hand for him to take. 

 

He does, clinging to her hand like a lifeline. His legs feel like jelly and he stumbles as he walks up the stairs, the floorboards creaking loudly as they make the short journey from the living room to Five’s room. 

 

Vanya lets go of his hand once they’re in his room, flipping the light on and opening his drawers 

 

“Any preference?” she asks, Five shakes his head. “Ok then, we’re going with dinosaurs” she mumbles, taking the flannel set out and passing it to Five

 

“I’m going to get you some water and a snack while you get dressed. I’ll be right back, i promise” she says, leaving him to it. She doesn’t shut the door the entire way, leaving a small crack. 

 

* * *

 

Five hates buttons. Both doing them and undoing them was unwarrantly hard. It takes him far too long to undo the buttons of his shirt in order to put on the pajama shirt, which then takes him far too long to button up. It as ridiculous. 

 

He tells Vanya as much when she returns

 

“Buttons are the worst” he says, immediately as she enters. A small plate of apple slices and crackers in one hand with his cup in the other. Vanya nods, looking at his pajamas for a few seconds as she sets the plate down. 

 

“You did a good job though” she says, climbing onto his bed and waiting for him to join her “you slept through dinner, i figured you might be hungry” she says, passing him his cup. He takes it without a word. He was hungry, it hadn’t been his top priority though.

 

she holds the plate in her lap, letting him pick at what he wants. He nibbles at the apple slices slowly, ignoring the crackers entirely. The taste of ash was still on his tongue.

 

“What did you have?” he asks, Vanya shrugs

 

“Nothing special, mom made some spaghetti” she says and Five nods, sipping some water from his cup. 

 

“Why’d you come downstairs?” she looked like she’d been sleeping, her hair was messed up and her clothes were wrinkled. 

 

“I woke up, figured i’d check on you. We probably should have moved you to your bed or something” she says. Five is pretty sure she’s lying but doesn’t feel like calling her one it. 

 

Soon enough Five is finished eating and his water is all gone. Vanya stands up.

 

“i’m going back to my room now, will you be ok?” she asks. 

 

Five wants to say yes, wants to be able to feel mature for the first time in 3 days and say that he doesn’t need Vanya here to feel safe, that he doesn’t need his sister to cuddle him after his nightmare. He wants to say yes, so he nods his head. 

 

It would be fine. 

 

Vanya steps out the door, moving to turn off his light. 

 

No it wouldn’t.

 

“Wait” she pauses, turning back to Five

 

“What's wrong?” she asks

 

this is stupid. He doesn’t need to sleep with Vanya. He doesn’t want to be on his own though.

 

“Can i sleep with you tonight?” he doesn’t look at her when he says it. His gaze trained firmly on the doorway above her head. 

 

“Sure Five” she says gently and Five slides off of his bed, back at Vanya’s side.

 

Vanya’s room isn’t impersonal but it lacks the clutter of everyone else's room, lacks the odd personal touches they had all added throughout the years. 

 

Five supposes that makes sense, it’s not like Vanya lived here, not like him or Klaus or Luther. Her room was new as well, she had chosen it after they had averted the apocalypse.

 

The rock he had given her was on the desk and she had the same purple sheets as when they had been younger on her bed but that was where the familiarity ended. There were no fairy lights like Klaus, no holes in the wall like Diego or model rockets like Luther, no posters like Allison and no books like Ben. no drawings on the wall like in Five’s room.

 

Vanya climbed into the bed, lifting the cover for Five to scramble under as well.

 

He didn’t fall asleep right away, which was fine. He wasn’t exactly eager. He listened to Vanya’s breathing and stared into the darkness of her room. His mind blissfully blank for the first time in a while. 

 

He feels safe. 

 

It was nice.

  
  



	5. early birds, bribes and coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, maybe her publicist is just a bitch and that has nothing to do with me” Five says and mom gives him a sharp look. Five ignores it.
> 
> “I’ll make you a deal, if i make you a coffee, you have to take the picture for Allison” Vanya says
> 
> ___
> 
> Five is contrary, Vanya tries her hand at bribery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna do Five and Klaus bonding soon but I'm kind of stuck on what they should be doing so give me suggestions and I'll work with those

Five didn’t fall back asleep, not properly anyway. It didn’t matter very much, he had slept most of the afternoon and was content to just lay beside Vanya and zone out until the sun started to peek through the curtains.

 

Vanya’s alarm went off at 6 AM, some pop song Five didn’t know rang through the speakers of her phone, muffled by the pillow she had shoved it under. 

 

Five watches Vanya groan and sit up. Her eyes were still half closed and her hair looked like a bird had taken up residence on her head. She rubs her eyes as she stretches, mumbling to herself as she shuts off the alarm 

 

“I get it, i’m up, be quiet” she hums, chucking her phone back on the mattress and letting her head drop against the pillow again. She turns to face him 

 

“Morning” she says “how long have you been awake for?”

 

Five shrugs

 

“A little while” he mumbles, propping himself up against the headboard  “do you have rehearsal today?” 

 

Vanya shakes her head, sitting back up and kicking the covers off 

 

“No, i do have to run a few errands though, you wanna come with me or stay here?” she asks. Five should probably just stay here, he should be looking for a way to reverse what’s been done to him. 

 

“I’ll go with you” he says “you are the only one who won’t potentially kill me” 

 

“I remind you that Allison actually has a child” Vanya says, heading over to her dresser and rummaging through it 

 

“I remind  _ you _ that Allison loses half her brain cells whenever she’s in the same room as any of us” Vanya laughs

 

“Close your eyes” she says, beginning to pull her pajamas shirt over her head. Five complies. “Do you think anyone else is awake?”

 

“Luther will be” Five says “can i open my eyes yet?”

 

“No” Vanya replies “how do you know Luther will be?”

 

“He gets up early or something. He trains, i ran into him a couple days ago”

 

“That makes sense” Vanya mumbles “you can open your eyes now” 

 

Five opens his eyes, Vanya has jeans on and a sweater he hasn’t seen before, no collared shirt like she usually has on though

 

“Why aren’t you wearing your button up?” he knows she has one in there, that’s basically all Vanya owns. Button ups and sweaters

 

“I wore it yesterday, i’ve only got 2 changes of clothes here” she says “i have to go to my apartment and grab some more, and my toothbrush” she mumbles the last part, saying it more to herself than Five. 

 

She grabs a hair brush from her dresser, combing through her hair quickly, forcing it to sit flat. She doesn’t tie her hair up much anymore but she puts a hair tie on her wrist just in case. 

 

“Do you want to get dressed now or after breakfast?” she asks. 

 

“Now” Five actually wanted to stay in his pajamas, they were warm and comfortable but he didn’t want to eat breakfast in them. It just didn’t seem dignified and he couldn’t afford many more blows to to the already questionable smokescreen of maturity he still had.

 

Vanya nods 

 

“You should probably shower or something first” Five wrinkled his nose. He didn’t want to take a shower

 

“Don’t make that face, you haven’t had a bath in like 2 days plus you fell in pond water yesterday” maybe she had a point. Five still didn’t want to take a shower. 

 

“i can force you if you want” she says. Five knows she can

 

“No you can’t” he says anyway. 

 

“Go take a shower, i’ll go get you some clothes” Vanya says, leaving the room

 

“I can pick my own clothes” Five says, climbing off the bed to follow her out. Vanya shrugs

 

“Yeah but it gives me something to do while i wait for you to get out” she says. Five rolls his eyes 

 

“I want the dark blue cardigan with the red hemming” he says, just to be a pain in the ass. Vanya nods anway

 

“Dark blue, red hemming, got it. Take your shower grub” she says, nudging him in the direction of the bathroom. Five absolutely does not stick his tongue out at her when her back is turned.

 

* * *

 

Five doesn’t take very long to shower, Vanya doesn’t take very long to get his clothes.

 

“Did you even shower properly?” she asks taking the towel from him when he emerges with still wet hair, drying it for him gently “like with soap and stuff?”

 

“If i didn’t use soap that would defeat the purpose of even having a shower” he grumbles. It’s muffled by the towel flipping in front of his face. 

 

Five was of the opinions that showers were a waste of time, a bucket of water and a wash cloth was enough to get by but soap was an appreciated luxury of being back amongst people. 

 

Five liked being clean. He didn’t like wasting his time though, which presented him with a paradox, because showers were a waste of time but they did make him clean. It wasn’t something he particularly needed to dwell on though.

 

“Is mom still charging?” he asks as Vanya drops the towel into the laundry hamper 

 

“No, i heard her get up before, why?”

 

“I need to change my bandage” he says. His arm was itching, it wasn’t anywhere near healed, an angry looking ring of red surrounding the exposed pink flesh. Vanya hums

 

“She’s probably making breakfast, come on” 

 

Vanya walks with him in companionable silence, through the halls and down the stairs to the kitchen where mom was indeed bustling around preparing breakfast. 

 

“Morning mom” Vanya greets, heading towards the coffee machine. Mom smiles at them 

 

“Good morning children” she says warmly 

 

“Mom, can you change my bandage?” Five asks

 

“Of course dear” she says, switching off the stove and taking out the first aid kit “come here, up onto the counter” 

 

Before, mom would always take them to the infirmary. It’s what Reginald had ordered, no medical treatment would take place outside of the infirmary, not even a bandage for small scratches.  It had been a way to prevent Grace from giving them treatment for punishments. Now Grace tended to give them the treatment wherever would be the most convenient or comfortable.

 

Vanya lent against the counter, watching Mom change the bandage and smear cream that Five thought smelt disgusting onto the graze, waiting for her coffee to finish. 

 

“Can you make me one?” Five asks and Vanya shakes her head 

 

“I don’t think i should” she says

 

“Why not?” Five scowls, he’d cross his arms if Mom didn’t need one of them.

 

“Well, you haven’t let Allison take a picture yet and she got yelled at by her publicist again last night”

 

“Well, maybe her publicist is just a bitch and that has nothing to do with me” Five says and mom gives him a sharp look. Five ignores it. 

 

“I’ll make you a deal, if i make you a coffee, you have to take the picture for Allison” Vanya says, switching of the machine and sipping her own coffee slowly.

 

“Or i just make it myself and don’t take the picture” Five says

 

“You can’t reach the coffee machine”

 

“Did you just magically forget that i can teleport?” Vanya shrugs

 

“Then take the picture because i asked you to and you’re a nice brother who loves his sister and wants to help her” she says, taking another sip of her coffee

 

Five snorts, mom puts the first aid kit away. 

 

“If i take the picture you make me coffee” he says and Vanya nods

 

“You don’t even like the coffee i make” she reminds him. It’s true, none of them can make a decent cup of coffee to save their lives.

 

“Then you buy me a good one while you’re running errands”

 

“But you have to take the picture, no being a goblin about it, just fake smile and take it”  

 

Five nods.

 

“Deal”

  
  



	6. picture day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Klaus if you do not get your fucking hand away from me i will tear off your fingernails” he hisses. The others weren’t doing anything to help him, like the traitors they were.
> 
> “It’s gotta look authentic!” Klaus laughs, sticking his hand out again
> 
> ___
> 
> Five takes the picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sort of an intermission chapter, a little shorter than usual but that's because the next chapter will be longer than usual. either way, enjoy

They don’t usually eat breakfast as a family, they all tend to wake up at different times and Diego and Vanya are usually at their own homes early in the mornings. 

 

Five wouldn’t say he disliked it when they did. He enjoyed having his family around him, even if he would refuse to admit so even under torture. They were all ridiculous and idiotic but they were his family and he loved them dearly. 

 

Except right now, right now, he was going to stab his fork right through Klaus’ eye. 

 

“Come on! You gotta be all cute and four year old-y for the picture!” Klaus says, attempting to smear syrup around Five’s mouth. Five smacks his hand away

 

“Klaus if you do not get your fucking hand away from me i will tear off your fingernails” he hisses. The others weren’t doing anything to help him, like the traitors they were.

 

“It’s gotta look authentic!” Klaus laughs, sticking his hand out again 

 

“I don’t see how covering my face in syrup is going to make it more authentic” Five snaps, dodging his hand once more 

 

“Because little kids eat messy, they get syrup all over their faces and everyone thinks it’s adorable” Klaus says and finally, finally someone intervenes and it’s Luther of all the fucking people. 

 

“Klaus, let him eat his breakfast” he says, pushing Klaus’ raised hand down and handing him a napkin, Klaus pouts but wipes his hand clean of the syrup. 

 

Five sighs. 

 

His family really were idiots. 

 

Allison is eating her breakfast quietly and Five glares at her. This was her fault for being famous. 

 

“Why are you glaring at me?” she asks, looking at Five with confusion

 

“This is your fault”

 

“I’m not the one who was trying to put syrup on your face, that was Klaus” she says, she knows exactly what Five meant. Vanya puts her hand on Five’s arm

 

“No murder at the table” she says and Five glares at her too.

 

Idiots. 

 

* * *

 

“I’m going to take two pictures alright? One of me and you and one with you, Vanya and me” Allison says. They had left the others in the kitchen to finish their breakfast once Five and Vanya had finished their own. 

 

“I’m going to put it on instagram with a generic caption and if anyone asks who you are, i’m going to tell them Vanya is my sister and your her son and my nephew”

 

“They already know Vanya is your sister, you don’t need to remind them” Five grumbles. He didn’t want to take a picture but he was getting coffee out of it “and won’t they question why she just suddenly has a child?” 

 

“Clarity is key and I’ll just say she wanted to keep you out of the spotlight, since your little and all that” Allison answers “ready?”

 

“I hate you both” he says, glaring at Allison and Vanya

 

“I’m taking that as you’re ready” 

 

* * *

 

Five doesn’t smile for either of the pictures but he doesn’t outright glare so Allison deems them fine and decides to post them. She shows Vanya the caption, Five peering over her shoulder so he can see as well. 

 

“Having so much fun with my favourite sister and nephew” Vanya reads and scoffs “i’m your only sister”

 

“And my favourite” Allison says, adding a heart emoji and publishing it. Vanya shakes her head

 

“Seeing as i’m your favourite sister can i borrow your car?” she asks and Allison raises her eyebrow at her

 

“I’m going to say yes but i’m curious. Why do you need to borrow my car?” she asks 

 

“I’m running errands today and Five is coming with me, i need the car seat” Vanya answers. Five frowns

 

“I don’t need a car seat”

 

“Yes you do” they say at the same time. Five scowls at them. 

 

“Yeah go for it, i’ll go get my keys for you” she says, standing up and heading towards the stairs. Five turns to Vanya

 

“I don’t need a car seat” he repeats, hoping that she’ll change her mind and not make him sit it one

 

“Yeah you do” she says “come on, we need to put our shoes on” 

 

“I’m not sitting in the car seat” Five says, crossing his arms 

 

“Well then your not coming with me and you can stay here with the others” Vanya says, walking into the front foyer and coming back with their shoes in her hand, she passes his shoes to him while she puts her own on. 

 

“I don’t need to sit in a car seat Vanya, i am a grown man” he says. He refrains from stomping his foot because that would not be beneficial to his point at all. 

 

“I know that, you know that, the cop who pulls me over won’t” she says, putting his shoes on for him and tightening the velcro on them “car seat or you’re not coming” 

 

Five scowls

 

“I’m not sitting in a car seat” 

  
  



	7. let Five say fuck 2k19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ok sweetie, i know your mommy doesn’t seem to care much about about it but you can’t be saying those kinds of things, it’s very rude” Five glares at the woman, unappreciative of the patronising tone she speaks to him in.
> 
> “Fuck off” he says. The womans gasp would be comical if she weren’t being so annoying.
> 
> ____
> 
> Five accompanies Vanya on her errands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let Five say fuck 2k19
> 
> https://gentlemenpaws.tumblr.com/post/184260202356/heres-some-more-fanart-for-the-ao3-fic-childs
> 
> check out this awesome fanart by gentlemenpaws on Tumblr my dudes!

“It’s not that bad Five” Vanya says, looking at him from the rear view mirror. Five flips her off as he fiddles with the clasp for the strap.

 

“This is ridiculous” he huffs. Vanya rolls her eyes at him

 

“You’re being dramatic” she says

 

“You’re not the one who’s been turned into a toddler” Five bites back. The straps won’t clip in and it’s getting ridiculous.

 

He’d told Vanya he’d do it himself scathingly barely moments ago though, he wasn’t about to tell her he couldn’t do it.

 

“If you keep being a brat i’m gonna buy you shitty coffee” Vanya says. The straps finally clip in and she starts the car.

 

“Where are we even going?” Five asks, crossing his arms over his chest and feeling infantile

 

“My apartment first, then i need to go and grab some things from the mall. We’ll stop by a coffee shop and i’ll get you something from there, i’ve got to look for a dress as well” she says, eyes flicking back to him as she pulls out of the driveway and onto the road

 

“You hate dresses” Five says. He hasn’t seen Vanya in a dress since her school girl skirt days.

 

“Yeah but the venue i’m playing at in a few weeks has a dress code. Men in black suits, women in a black dress” she says, rolling her eyes.

 

“That’s stupid” Five says. While he wasn’t an expert in picking and choosing what he wore, he knew enough to know that dress codes like _that_ were dumb

 

“Yeah, it is” Vanya agrees “but, i’m getting paid to do it so i’m not going to complain”

 

Five nods, turning his head to the side, his eyes on the other cars speeding past them.

 

He doesn’t notice Vanya watching him or the fond smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

Vanya turns the radio on at some point, Five listens to it idly while he stares out the window and watches the traffic pass by. He was still catching up with a lot of things like movies and music.

 

The songs that came through didn’t hold his attention particularly well but occasionally a song came on that he knew, usually from Klaus insisting he listen to it. He heard Vanya humming along to some of them as well.

 

Vanya pulls into her apartments parking lot, cutting the engine and getting out of the car. She opens Five’s door for him, undoing the clasp and lifting him out of the seat.

 

“I can do it myself” Five mumbles, Vanya shrugs at him.

 

“Yeah, but it would take like 5 minutes” she teases lightly. Five scowls at her.

 

“You can put me down now” he says. She complies, setting him on his feet gently.

 

The stairwell for Vanya’s apartment is creepy and there's a weird looking old man sitting on a rickety wooden chair by the door reading a book.

 

“Good morning Mr Jovevski” Vanya greets the man with a nod, taking Five’s hand in her own. The man nods at her, tipping his hat

 

“Lovely morning Miss Vanya” he says kindly as they start up the stairs. Five still thinks he’s creepy, his hand tightens around Vanya’s.

 

“This place is where low budget horror films are set, are you aware of that?” he tells her and she laughs a little

 

“Are you talking about Mr Jovevski?” she asks

 

“I was talking about the mold invested stairwell but him too”

 

“The stairs don’t have mold of them and Mr Jovevski is harmless”

 

“Doubtful” Five says, looking over his shoulder at the man who had returned to his book and squinting at him.

 

“He’s an old man, what harm could he do?” Vanya asks, tugging Five to a stop once they reach her floor

 

“I’m older than him and i can do a lot of harm” Five mumbles

 

“Mr Jovevski isn’t a time traveling assassin Five, he’s a dentist” Vanya says, unlocking her door and ushering Five inside “i’m going to pack a suitcase, then we’ll get out of here ok? Just hang out in the living room”

 

Five nods, watching Vanya disappear down the hallway into her bedroom. He had been in her apartment before, there wasn’t much of a need for exploration. He sat on the couch, playing absently with the loose threads of the blanket that was thrown over the back of it.

 

Then he hears a meow, quiet and muffled. He doesn’t think much of it, after all Vanya has mentioned her neighbour having a cat before.

 

Then he hears it again, louder this time, accompanied by scratching. Five peers over the back of the couch, eyes falling on Vanya’s window.

 

A calico cat was there, meowing loudly with displeasure and scratching at the glass, demanding to be let in.

 

Five had very little experience with animals, even less with potentially hostile animals but well, there was a pane of glass between the cat and Five. it’s not like he’d get hurt.

 

He moves towards the window slowly, eyes not leaving the cat as it wails. Then the cat swipes at the glass, hissing and growling. Five jumps back just as Vanya comes back into the room, wheeling her suitcase behind her.

 

“There’s a cat on your firescape” Five tells her, pointing to the window. The cat resumed yowling at the sight of Vanya.

 

Vanya smiles, heading towards the window and opening it. Five steps back as the cat clambers inside, purring and brushing against Vanya as she pets it. Then the cat turns to Five, coming towards him.

 

Five is at Vanya’s side in an instant, his arms lifted in a silent demand to be picked up, away from the cat. He’s not scared of it. It’s just a cat.

 

Vanya laughs a little, scooping him off the ground before it can touch him

 

“It’s just Horse, he won’t hurt you” she says, her hand stroking Five’s hair soothingly

 

“I know that” Five says. He does, really. He just doesn’t want to be near it. “I didn’t know you had a cat”

 

“Oh, i don’t” Vanya says, reaching down to scratch the cats head much to Five’s chagrin as he tries to lean as far away from it as possible “Horse is a stray, he just likes hanging out on my firescape sometimes”

 

“And in your apartment?” Five’s voice comes out tighter than he had intended it to, giving away his already obvious panic at being so close to Horse

 

“He thinks he’s going to get food” Vanya explains “he won’t hurt you Five, he’s a big softie” she says, scratching behind Horses ear. Horse purrs, leaning into Vanya’s hands with his eyes closed.

 

“Here, give me your hand” Vanya says. Five does.

 

Vanya crouches down and guides his hand onto Horses fur gently. Horse doesn’t hiss or growl at Five, his body vibrating under his hand as Five strokes his fur. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.

 

“Do you want to feed him?” she asks, standing up again. Horse looks up at her, apparently offended that his pets had been cut short. Five nods.

 

Vanya sets him back onto his feet and Horse rubs against his legs, purring and vibrating. Vanya moves to her kitchen, taking out a plastic bowl and some cat food from her cupboard

 

“Why do you call him Horse?” Five asks, scratching Horses back gently. Vanya shrugs

 

“Mr Jovevski said he was as big as a horse once, when he’d snuck in the door and was hanging out in the lobby. The name just stuck i guess” Vanya says

 

“he hangs out on the firescape and cons me out of my food” she says, putting the bowl on the firescape. Horse clambers out the window after it with a satisfied meow. Vanya slides it closed behind him.

 

“Alright, you ready to go?” she asks.

 

Five nods, slipping his hand into Vanya’s, sparing Horse one last glance before they leave.

 

* * *

 

Five had been to the mall once already this week, he hadn’t enjoyed it all that much. It had been crowded and loud. At the time his head had hurt and he’d clung to Vanya’s hand like a lifeline.

 

This visit was shaping up to be just as bad.

 

There were too many people around him, pushing and shoving and talking. Not enough exit strategies.

 

“Hey, you ok Five?” he hadn’t even noticed that he’d stopped walking. He nods mechanically at Vanya, who’s worried eyes were trained on him and his iron grip on her hand

 

“No you’re not” she says, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb “do you want me to carry you?” she asks.

 

He’d be up higher that way, at a better vantage point. Maybe not by much but anything was better than his current height. Besides, Vanya was safe.

 

He nods again, lifting his arms up and waiting for her to lift him onto her hip. She obliges, waiting for him to wrap his arms around her neck properly before continuing on her journey.

 

He played with the ends of Vanya’s hair idly, twisting it around his fingers and tugging absently as she walked through the mall

 

* * *

 

“I still don’t get why you have to wear a dress” Five says, watching Vanya inspect the third dress she’d tried on in the mirror with a mildly disgusted look

 

“Dress code”

 

“Just ignore it, you’ve got plenty of suits that look perfectly fine” Five says. This was boring, watching Vanya try on dresses she clearly hated was boring. Vanya smiles at him

 

“As much as i would love to do that, it’s part of my job to follow the dress codes” she says, turning back to face the mirror with a sigh “i don’t like this one either”

 

“You aren’t going to like any of them, you don’t like dresses” Five points out, as Vanya disappears behind the blue curtain again to try on dress number four

 

“True” Vanya says. Five hears a zipper go down and fabric rustle. Then another zipper go up and the curtain slid open. Vanya looked in the mirror, then to Five

 

“Maybe i should ask Allison?” she asks.

 

“Probably, she has to do this shit all the time right?”

 

The middle aged lady that was sitting at the other end of the change room looks at Five absolutely appalled, when Vanya doesn’t correct Five’s language she speaks up

 

“Excuse me miss, your son said a very impolite word just now” she says, as if Vanya hadn’t heard Five speaking. Vanya nods at the woman

 

“He says impolite words all the time, you get used to it” she says, before going back into the change room and sliding the curtain shut again. The woman glances at the closed curtain with annoyance and slides closer to Five

 

“Ok sweetie, i know your mommy doesn’t seem to care much about about it but you can’t be saying those kinds of things, it’s very rude” Five glares at the woman, unappreciative of the patronising tone she speaks to him in.

 

“Fuck off” he says. The womans gasp would be comical if she weren’t being so annoying.

 

“That is very rude! You can’t go around saying things like that to people, it’s impolite and shows terrible character!” she says, clearly distressed

 

“Well you can’t go around trying to parent strangers kids but you’re doing that anyway so i think i can say fuck if i want to” Five deadpans

 

“Excuse you! Apologise right now!” the woman says, Five thinks he can see a vein starting to bulge. Vanya slides the curtain open again and the changing room attendant pokes their head around their corner.

 

Five jumps off the seat, running to Vanya and wrapping his arms around her waist, feigning tears

 

“Mommy! that mean lady yelled at me!” he fake cries. His grin hidden by Vanya’s legs as the attendant comes over

 

“Excuse me, is there a problem here?” she asks. Vanya nods

 

“that woman was harassing my son” she says, lifting Five up. Five muffles his laughter in her shoulder, making it sound more like he was crying. The attendant nodded

 

“Ma’am, i’m going to have to ask you to leave” the attendant says. The woman looks absolutely outraged

 

“I did nothing wrong!” she shouts

 

“I’m sorry ma’am but you were harassing that little boy, i’m going to have to ask you to leave”

 

“I did no such thing!”

 

“Ma’am, i heard you yell at him. He clearly doesn’t know you and you have clearly distressed him. Please leave before i have to call security” the attendant says. The woman huffs, picking up her handbag and stalking out of the change rooms haughtily.

 

The attendant turns to them with an apologetic smile

 

“I’m really sorry about that, is he ok?” she asks. Vanya feels a little bad now but she nods

 

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. Won’t you?” Five lifts his head from Vanya’s shoulder to nod. The attendant smiles

 

“I’m glad, have a nice day” she says, returning to her desk.

 

“Well she was pleasant” Five says, hopping down from Vanya’s arms

 

“You are such a gremlin, you know that?” Vanya says, spinning around to look in the mirror

 

“You played along” Five says “i like that one”

 

“Yeah, so do i” Vanya says, adjusting the sleeves slightly “dress number five wins then”

 

* * *

 

Vanya switches to piggybacking Five through the store, for now particular reason other than she wanted to give him a piggyback and Five didn’t say no. According to her she could give Klaus a piggyback, which Five didn’t believe.

 

“Why are we in the toothbrush aisle?” he asks, eyes scanning all the brightly coloured pieces of plastic lining the walls

 

“Because it occurred to me that your toothbrush is like, a million years old and that’s kind of disgusting”

 

“I don’t have a toothbrush” Five says and Vanya pulls a face

 

“That is even worse” she says “What colour do you want?” she holds several packets of children's toothbrushes in front of her, Five looking over her shoulder to pick

 

“Blue” he says and Vanya nods, putting the others back, picking up a pink hello kitty toothbrush

 

“Do you think if we got this for Klaus he’d use it?” she asks

 

“It’s Klaus, of course he will” Five says Vanya grins

 

“Great”

 

* * *

 

The music store was quiet, tucked away in a mostly forgotten corner of the mall. It had an odd feeling to it but Five wouldn’t say it was bad.

 

Vanya seemed at home there. She found what she needed quickly, greeting the man at the counter with a warm smile

 

“Hey Joey” she says, putting Five down so she can grab her wallet from her pocket “how’s business?” she asks

 

Joey grins, using his arms to gesture widely to the empty store

 

“Booming, as you can see” he says. He’s got a funny accent.

 

Joey looks down at Five

 

“Hey there smalls” he greets, then turns back to Vanya “he yours?”

 

“What? Oh yeah, he’s mine” Vanya says, handing Joey the money for her rosin. Joey whistles lowly

 

“I didn’t even know you had a kid V” he says, Vanya shrugs

 

“It’s a long story” Joey nods

 

“Yeah, i’ll bet it is” he says, handing Vanya her change and the rosin “You have a good day V, you too smalls. Seeya later” Joey says, waving them out.

 

“Later Joey, enjoy your booming business” Vanya says, lifting Five back onto her hip “say bye Five” she instructs absently, not even realising she’d said it while she tried to shove the rosin into her bag

 

“Bye” Five mumbles, waving lamely, not realising that he’d followed her instructions anymore than she’d realised she’d given them.

 

“Can we get lunch now?” Five asks as they exit the music store “you still owe me a coffee” Vanya nods her head, adjusting Five on her hip

 

“Yeah come on, there’s a nice cafe near here that makes decent coffee” she says, leading them back into the bustle of the main strip.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horse is based off both of my asshole cats who will screech for food the minute they see you.


	8. decaf coffee and M&M cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m allergic to anything that isn’t pancakes” Five says. He’s smirking, apparently enjoying this game
> 
> “Well then i guess you’re allergic to coffee” Vanya says with a shrug.
> 
> ____
> 
> Five is a gremlin but then again so is Vanya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate coffee, I think it tastes like dirt. also M&M cookies are the shit and there's this cafe near my house that used to give them out for free to little kids and the day I got to old to be given them was the worst day of my life

‘Mel’s Coffee shop’ was a small cafe, run by Mel, popular but never busy enough to be stressful when you visit. Vanya enjoyed it there, thought they made good coffee and figured Five would enjoy it as well. 

 

“I’ve got some rules” Vanya says, opening the door and listening to the bell chime. There were only about 6 other patrons in the store “no double espresso anything, i’m only getting you a small and you have to eat actual food first” she says 

 

“That wasn’t the deal”

 

“I’m still getting you your coffee, i’m just avoiding extra maiming by Allison” Vanya says, setting Five down so they could find a seat “besides, caffeine's bad for you”

 

“Caffeine’s bad for you as well and you’ve already had 2 cups of coffee this morning” Five argues. 

 

“Yeah well, i’m old enough to make my own bad choices” she says. Five scowls at her, sliding into a booth by a window. Vanya sits across from him and hands him a menu

 

“Actual food first, then i’ll get your coffee” she reminds him, scanning her own menu. She tended to get the same thing every time she came but looking over the menu was always a good way to use idle time. 

 

“I want pancakes” Five says, shutting the menu and sliding it back the Vanya

 

“No, you had pancakes for breakfast pick something else”

 

“Well I want pancakes” Five says. He’s just being stubborn because he can be

 

“I’m having the chicken wrap” Vanya says, scanning the menu for something Five might like “what about egg pasta?”

 

“I’m allergic to eggs”

 

“You had eggs for breakfast a few days ago Five”

 

“Then i’m allergic to pasta” Vanya gives him a look, half amused half annoyed 

 

“Fine, no egg pasta. Grilled fish fillet?”

 

“I am actually allergic to fish” Five says. 

 

“Oh right, yeah. You and Luther can’t have seafood” Vanya mumbles eyes back on the menu “what about the cheeseburger?”

 

“I’m allergic to anything that isn’t pancakes” Five says. He’s smirking, apparently enjoying this game 

 

“Well then i guess you’re allergic to coffee” Vanya says with a shrug. She watches Five’s eyes widen and the gears turn in his head with amusement

 

“I’ll have the cheeseburger” he says with a pout and his arms crossed. 

 

* * *

 

Vanya orders their food at the counter, returning a few minutes later with their plates in hand. She puts Five’s down in front of him with a smile 

 

“There you go, cheeseburger and fries”

 

“I don’t want fries”

 

“So don’t eat them. You have to eat the burger though” Vanya says, sliding across from him. Five pouts, picking up the cheeseburger and beginning to eat. 

 

“After this we’re going to go home, is there anywhere you want to go while we’re out?” she asks. Five shrugs

 

“No” he says, taking another bite of his cheeseburger “did you order the coffee?”

 

“I’ll order them to go before we leave” Vanya says “did you have fun?”

 

“I had fun getting that lady kicked out of the store” Five says. Vanya snorts

 

“Yeah, she was certainly a piece of work” she mumbles “you had pretty convincing fake tears, i almost thought you were actually upset she yelled at you”

 

“I was upset, she was annoying and that made me angry. Anger is an upset emotion” Five says with his signature dimpled grin. Such a cute smile for such a goblin of a child. 

 

“That poor attendant was worried about you, you gremlin” Vanya says, pointing at Five accusingly

 

“Yeah, well you played along” Five says with a shrug

 

“Well, how could i not have?” Vanya has a sly grin on her face and if Five was anyone else he might be worried  “i couldn’t refuse a poor baby crying for his mommy” 

 

she laughs, dropping her head down on the table with breathless wheezing when Five flips her off

 

“Shut up. It was for authenticity” he says and Vanya laughs some more

 

“Well it worked” she says “It was so cute Five,  i don’t think you understand” 

 

she grins at Five 

 

“the others are going to love it”

 

“No. absolutely not, they don’t hear any of it” Five glares at her and Vanya shakes her head 

 

“Nope, this is a family time story” she teases grinning at Five

 

“I will kill you, your children and your grandchildren do you hear me?” Vanya starts laughing again

 

“Haven’t you heard?  _ You’re _ my child. You would kill yourself?” Five flicks some sauce onto Vanya’s cheek. She wipes it off with a grin. Five looks a murderous, his glare trained on Vanya with the promise of even more violent threats if she continued  

 

“i’ll stop now” she says. Five keeps glaring at her with a pout. “Oh stop pouting, i won’t tell the others don’t worry” 

 

He doesn’t stop pouting but his glare wavers and he takes another bite of his burger, letting Vanya know that no damage had actually been done. 

 

Vanya slides the menu back over to him

 

“Pick a coffee, i’m going to order once we’ve finished eating then we’ll head back home yeah?”

 

Five nods, picking up the menu and scanning it.

 

* * *

 

Vanya gets a white chocolate and whip cream monstrosity that Five refuses to even consider as actual coffee. Five ends up getting decaf, after Vanya tells him he’s not allowed to have proper coffee.

 

“You won’t sleep if you have that” she had said, which Five knew was implying he was supposed to take nap later on. That was a battle for later though. 

 

Five wasn’t at the point where he was willing to throw a tantrum about it and had accepted the black decaf and free M&M cookie the barista handed him with a smile.

 

He only gave Vanya one M&M, because she had made him get decaf and didn’t deserve more. She carried their coffee to the car, his hand held tightly in hers as she walked.

 

Five didn’t fuss too much about the car seat, aside from a pointed comment at Vanya about it being ridiculous. Vanya passed him his cup once he’d clippeed the straps properly

 

“Don’t spill it” she says and Five rolls his eyes at her, taking an exaggeratedly cautious sip of it. He almost spat it out. 

 

It tasted disgusting. 

 

“What’s wrong?” she asks, apparently noticing his screwed up expression of dissatisfaction 

 

“This tastes like dirt” he says, passing it back to Vanya who laughs at him

 

“Maybe your taste buds changed. I mean, you never liked coffee when we were younger” she says, putting the cup in the cupholder and starting the car “remember when we were 8 and Klaus dared you to drink some from griddys?”

 

“Yeah, I spat it in the sink of the bathroom and you laughed at me” 

 

“Yeah well it was funny” Vanya defends weakly “my point is, you’ve got your four year taste buds back, four year old you probably thinks straight black coffee is disgusting” she says.

Five sighs in aggravation, because of course that made sense

 

“At least you got a cookie?” Vanya says, glancing at Five in the rear view mirror. 

 

Five takes another bite of the cookie angrily.

  
  



	9. Tea & Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five was writing on his walls with a blue crayon. Vanya isn’t sure where he got the crayon or what he was writing but that’s what he was doing.
> 
> ___
> 
> Five writes on walls. things take a turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does crayon stain hands? I don't know, I know that mine used to but then again I am not even sure they were actual crayons

Allison watches Five stalk up the stairs towards his room with an air of childish anger surrounding him as Vanya comes in with an amused smile. 

 

“What’s his problem?” she asks, hearing Five’s door slam shut

 

“He’s upset because coffee tastes bad” Vanya says, taking out a black dress from one of the plastic bags and holding it against herself

 

“Five got a woman kicked out of the store for this dress, what do you think?” she asks. It was a pretty dress, with quarter sleeves and skirt that flared out just slightly. It would nice on Vanya 

 

“It looks beautiful, what’s it for?” Allison asks

 

“A venue the orchestra is playing at in a few weeks”  Vanya says and Allison hums in acknowledgement. 

 

“Is Five tired?” she asks, Vanya shrugs 

 

“Not yet, he will be soon though” she says “he’s 100% going to fight taking a nap though” 

 

“You could always trick him somehow?” Allison suggests. Vanya shakes her head 

 

“I don’t have the time, i’ve got to tutor some kids in an hour and Five won’t go down that easily”

 

“I would offer to help but i’m supposed to meet with my agent in like 10 minutes” 

 

Vanya hands Allison her car keys, her brow knitted together in concern

 

“Someone is going to be home right?” she asks and Allison nods 

 

“Diego took mom out a little while ago and Luther's out doing his own thing but Klaus is still around somewhere and by extension Ben” Vanya nods 

 

“That’s good” she says sighing and looking up the stairs. “I’m gonna go attempt to get Five to go to bed. Wish me luck” 

 

Allison salutes her as she starts up the stairs and laughs a little when she’s out of ear shot. 

 

Vanya was such a mom and didn’t even realise it. 

 

* * *

 

Five was writing on his walls with a blue crayon. Vanya isn’t sure where he got the crayon or what he was writing but that’s what he was doing. 

 

“What’re you writing?” she asks, standing beside the chair he was using to prop himself higher

 

“Equations”

 

“What for?” 

 

Five shrugs

 

“Possible outcomes to impossible scenarios” he says, scribbling something new down after glancing to his side. His hand was stained blue. Vanya doesn’t know how that happened so quickly. 

 

“Do you want to come sit with me?” she asks and Five shakes his head

 

“No, i don’t want to take a nap” he says, Vanya pretends she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

 

“I didn’t say anything about a nap” she says. Five levels her with a dry look

 

“Vanya, i look four, i’m not actually four” he says “that won’t work on me” 

 

Vanya shrugs 

 

“It was worth a try” she hums, sitting down on his bed, watching him scribble away “Five, i’ve gotta leave again soon, i’m supposed to be tutoring some kids in violin” 

 

The crayon stops moving and Five turns to face her 

 

“When will you be back?” he asks. His voice wavers a little and Vanya knows that if he cries she’s going to end up staying and she really can’t do that. 

 

“Before dinner” she says “so if you go to sleep now, it’ll be like no time at all. You go to sleep with me here and once you wake up i’ll be back”

 

Five shakes his head at her 

 

“I don’t need a nap” he says “i’m not a toddler”

 

“Well at least come read with me instead of writing on your walls” she asks. Five sighs, dropping off the chair and putting the crayon on his desk 

 

“Fine, i’ll read with you” he says. Vanya smiles at him and scans his bookshelf pulling out the first one that she thinks will interest both of them

 

“The prince and the pauper? When did you get this?” the book looked brand new, like Five hadn’t even opened it yet.

 

“Klaus said Ben got it for me” Five explains, climbing onto the bed and sitting beside her “or Ben told Klaus to get it for me at least” 

 

Vanya hums 

 

“Ok” she says, opening the book gently as Five leans his head against her arm. She begins to read 

 

“ _ Let us skip a number of years. London was fifteen hundred years old, and was a great town… _ ”

 

* * *

 

Five managed to keep his eyes wide open until the second chapter. About midway through they began to drift closed and he silently cursed himself. 

 

It’s not like the drowsiness was a surprise, every day since he had been injected with that drug he’d fallen asleep either a little before or a little after noon. It still annoyed him. 

 

No matter how much he insisted he wasn’t a toddler who needed a nap he’d always end up taking one anyway. Though he supposes this time was different. 

 

His eyes weren’t itching and his head didn’t feel heavy, he was drifting into sleep purely because he was comfortable enough to be asleep, pressed into Vanya’s side with the knowledge that he was safe. 

 

It wasn’t a feeling he had very often. He didn’t put up much of a fight against it because of that. 

 

He wasn’t entirely asleep when Vanya closed the book, adjusting him so that he was laying on the bed rather than her arm. She pressed her lips to his forehead gently 

 

“Bye Five, i’ll be back later” 

 

Five felt a small smile bloom across his face. 

 

* * *

 

The Handler was sitting across from him. 

 

Five couldn’t move, trapped in place by a wooden table. The edge digging into his arms, keeping them pressed against his side painfully.

 

His siblings were beside him, lining the table with three on each side. They all had tea and cake in front of them. So did Five. 

 

His looked an odd sort of colour. 

 

_ “If you won’t feed yourself, i’m going to assume it’s because you’re incapable and do it for you” _

 

The Handler says, voice ringing hollow. Allison is gone now, the seat she had been sitting in was empty, her tea was finished and the cake was gone. Five feels his stomach twist. 

 

_ “Five, if you don’t eat your lunch, i’m going to have to punish you” _

 

The Handler was standing now. Klaus and Ben were gone, Klaus’ cup was tipped, staining the white cloth red. It wasn’t tea.

 

The Handler stepped towards him. Diego was gone, a knife lodged where he had been. 

 

Another step. Luther was gone. Five struggled in the chair. His mind screaming at him to get away. Get away.  _ Get away. _

 

His siblings were gone. They had all disappeared.  _ Left _ , his panic ridden brain supplied. They had left him here, alone and defenseless at the mercy of The Handler and her cherry red smile.

 

Five looks to Vanya. She would do something, Vanya loves him. She’d never leave him. 

 

The Handler is closer now. Vanya is staring at him blankly. Unblinking, unmoving with her eyes glowing blue.

 

The Handler takes another step towards him. Vanya is bleeding, a bullet hole through her head.

 

_ “Five, you need to eat your lunch” _

 

The Handler picks up the tea cup, pinching Five’s cheeks and forcing his mouth open and the cup to his lips. 

 

Five chokes on the metallic taste. Sputtering as the blood in the cup spills down his front. The Handlers nails dig into his cheeks, his own blood welling and dripping from the crescent scratches they leave.

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

 

She turns Five’s face to the side. 

 

A sob tears against his throat. 

 

Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Ben, Vanya.

 

All lined up in a row, crumpled to the ground and bleeding. Five can see them dying, the light fading from their eyes and the bullets buried in their heads. 

 

He can’t move and suddenly he’s tasting ash. The Handler pressed her lips to his temple and her gun to his head. 

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally spun a wheel of Five Trauma™ to make up that nightmare sequence and let me tell you that is possibly one of the most sadistic things I have done


	10. broken seams, stitched together with love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re a terrible babysitter”
> 
> “Well then it’s a good thing Five isn’t a baby and is probably still sleeping soundly exactly where i left him” Klaus mumbles
> 
> ___
> 
> Five wakes up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dumbo is the best Disney movie, you can't change my mind

Vanya had come to find Klaus before she left, she had been raking her fingers through her hair with her nose scrunched, the tell tale sign that she was stressing about something. 

 

“What’s wrong sister dear?” he asks, draping himself across the back of the couch dramatically, enticing the smallest of smiles onto Vanya’s face

 

“I’ve got to go to work and everyone else is out, Five is taking a nap in his room, will you and Ben be able to watch him while we’re gone?” she asks, her hands twisting together “he should sleep until i get back”

 

“Of course i will!” Klaus says, twisting around and tumbling off the couch to his feet, wrapping an arm around Vanya gently 

 

“it’ll all be perfectly fine V, Five will sleep like the adorable little peach he is, i’ll check in every now and then and make sure he’s still breathing, you’ll be home in no time and realise there’s no reason to worry your pretty little mother henning head”

 

Vanya glares at him, Klaus feels like he’s being threatened by a kitten 

 

“I am not a mother hen” she say and Klaus shrugs, holding his hands up in mock surrender. 

 

“It’ll be fine Vanya, promise” she nods at him, kissing his cheek gently 

 

“I’ll be back in a few hours, don’t kill Five or yourself. Ben, i’m expecting you to be the responsible one” she says to the room. Ben grins off to the side, saluting her even if Vanya can’t see it. 

 

Klaus watches Vanya leave, listening as the door echoes shut behind her. 

 

It would be fine, Five would sleep until Vanya got back and everything would be fine.

 

* * *

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

 

Five gasps, choking on his sobs as he jolts up. His back rigid, eyes wide and body trembling. 

 

He was alone. 

 

His stomach twisted painfully, dread building and suffocating him as his eyes darted around the room. It felt like someone was squeezing his lungs, not allowing him to breath through his tears. 

 

Where was Vanya? She had been here before he went to sleep. He had been pressed against her side and  _ safe _

 

He isn't safe anymore. Now he’s alone. 

 

He could still feel the ghost of The Handlers lips on his forehead, still feel the gun against his skull and taste the metallic twang on blood in his mouth. 

 

A sob tore at his throat, tears blurred his vision and he cried. 

 

He didn’t want to be alone. Not now, not after that. Not when he could still hear The Handlers voice and see her smile and feel her hands. 

 

He pushed the covers off of himself, climbing onto shaking legs. He didn’t want to be alone, he needed to find Vanya.

 

He pushed his door open, wincing at the loud creak and silently hoping he hadn’t alerted whatever may be watching of his presence. 

 

Vanya would be in her room. 

 

The short walk from his door to hers feels like eternity, Five pauses when the floorboards creak under his weight and holds his breath. 

 

He isn’t entirely sure what he’s afraid of, he just knows that he needs to be quiet.

 

He pushes her door open, half hidden behind the creaking wood as he glances around. Empty. 

 

Her bed was still unmade from this morning, her drawer still half open but Vanya wasn’t in there.

 

Five breath stutters.

 

Vanya had lessons. She wasn’t in the academy because she had lessons. She hadn’t left him.

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

 

He didn’t want to be alone.

 

* * *

 

Allison wasn’t in her room. Diego wasn’t in his, and Luther was gone too. He couldn’t find Klaus either. Mom wasn’t in the kitchen or the laundry or by the portraits. 

 

No one was in the library, no one was in any of the bathrooms on the first or second floor, no one was in Reginalds study or the basement or the attic or any of the regularly used training rooms or any of the guest rooms or the dining room. 

 

Five had started jumping, glitching through the academy and landing in random rooms as his panic increased. 

 

They wouldn’t have left him. Someone would still be in the academy. Someone had to still be here. 

 

He couldn’t  _ find anyone _ . 

 

He jumped and jumped and jumped. Every room he went into was empty.

 

No one was here. No one was with him. He was alone.

 

He jumped again, landing in a hallway. It was just as empty as every other room. He pressed his back to the wall. 

 

He couldn’t breath, tightness ripping at his chest, making his lungs burn. 

 

They had left him.

 

They had left him alone. 

 

Five brought his knees to his chest, burying his face in them and sobbed.

 

His body shakes and his throat scraped and burned as he cried. 

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

 

He was alone. 

 

His hands were fisted in his hair, pulling tightly at the strands.

 

They had gone. They had left him. 

 

Alone. 

 

He was  _ alone _ . 

 

Desperation and fear suffocated him, clawing at his insides as he cried.

 

He was alone. They had left him.

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

 

* * *

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be looking after Five?” Ben asks watching Klaus with bemusement 

 

“I checked on him a few minutes ago” Klaus mutters, pushing another box to the side. 

 

he hadn’t intended to end up surrounded by dusty boxes and remnants of their lacking childhood

 

Old baby blankets and teddy bears with stitched limbs that had been stashed away in a random store room the second they had outgrown them or Reginald deemed them too old for such things  

 

“It’s been half an hour” Ben says. Klaus pauses

 

“Really?” 

  
  


“You’re a terrible babysitter”

 

“Well then it’s a good thing Five isn’t a baby and is probably still sleeping soundly exactly where i left him” Klaus mumbles, shoving the boxes back in the cupboard and closing the door. 

 

He rolls his eyes at the dry look Ben gives him 

 

“i’m going to check on him now, stop looking at me like that” he says, which doesn’t make Ben stop looking at him like that. 

 

The academy was ridiculously and pointlessly large in Klaus’ opinion but it provided plenty of wandering space and distraction when one was stuck inside. 

 

As children, they had areas they weren’t allowed in at all. 

 

Klaus had taken great joy in going into every single one of those forbidden areas and touching everything his grubby little hands could get a hold of now that Reginald had kicked it. It had quickly become his favourite past time when stuck at home. 

 

Ben was the usually willing, though sometimes unwilling observer of Klaus’ petty rebellion. 

 

“Ben, Five is a big boy, he’s fine to take a nap in a different area of the house for a few hours” Klaus says. 

 

Sure, Five had been acting a little out of it lately and he did need some backup readily available for when shit inevitably hit the fan but he was still Five. 

 

Five hated it when they hovered and Five was probably already several kinds of uncomfortable, being in the body of a toddler. 

 

Klaus wasn’t about to make him even more upset by thinking he couldn’t handle being in a room on his own for half an hour. If Five needed him, Five would find him with a mildly scathig request for his assistance. 

 

At least, that’s what Klaus had thought would happen. 

 

“Do you hear that?” Ben asks, holding his hand up to silence whatever response Klaus may make. 

 

Sure enough, Klaus did here that.  _ That _ being the distant sound of sobbing and hyperventilation.

 

Klaus sprints. 

 

He takes the stairs three at a time in an effort to get to Five faster, nightmare scenarios running through his mind of what could be wrong, 

 

Images of The Handler, standing over broken bleeding baby Five, flashed in Klaus’ mind and he ran faster.

 

There was no Handler though, no creepy patronising smile and no gun toting psychopath in a mask standing over Five.

 

It was just Five, curled in on himself and sobbing, his hands fisted in his hair and pulling hard enough that Klaus is sure it’s hurting him. 

 

It was a jarring sight. He looked so small, so broken and alone. His crying was gut wrenching. 

 

“Do something” Ben urges, snapping Klaus out of his daze. 

 

Klaus steps forward, slowly, gently, towards Five. 

 

Teeny Tiny Five, who looked up at the sound of Klaus’ footsteps. 

 

“Klaus?” his voice wavers, like he doesn’t believe Klaus is really there.

 

“Yeah buddy, it’s Klaus” he says gently, kneeling in front of Five and wrapping his little hands in his own, untangling Five’s white knuckled grip on his hair, Five launches himself at Klaus’ not a moment later. 

 

He buries his face in Klaus’ chest, broken sobs tearing through the silence. He clings to Klaus’ shirt desperately, mumbling indistinctly.

 

“Please don’t leave me alone” 

 

Klaus hears it loud and clear. 

 

“Hey, it’s ok” he shushes, wrapping Five, teeny tiny crying Five, up in his arms gently “i’m not going to leave buddy, no one’s leaving” 

 

“You were all _ gone _ ” Five sobs, huddling into Klaus like his life depended on it “i woke up and you were  _ gone.  _ I couldn’t find anyone”

 

Klaus shushes him gently, rubbing circles on his back gently. 

 

“It’s ok Five. everyone is still here, no one’s going to leave you” Klaus presses a feather light kiss to Five’s head “you’re stuck with us, i promise, there is absolutely no getting rid of us” 

 

Five doesn’t stop crying. He shakes and sobs and clings to Klaus with a knuckle white grip. Klaus isn’t even sure what he’s supposed to be doing right now. 

 

Ben looked just as panicked as him. 

 

“Can you tell me what’s upset you?” Klaus asks, figuring that it’s a good enough place to start.

 

* * *

 

“Can you tell me what’s upset you?” Klaus asks, his hand still rubbing soothing circles on Five’s back. 

 

Five tries, he tries to steady his breathing, to stop the shuddering sobs long enough to get more than a few indecipherable words out but it doesn’t work. 

 

The panic and fear was still crawling across his skin, no matter how much he pressed against Klaus to show himself, Klaus was  _ here _ , real and breathing and here. He wasn’t alone. 

 

It didn’t work 

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

 

Five wanted to scream. Just to get those words out of his head. 

 

He didn’t need to say goodbye. He wasn’t alone. Everyone was here. He didn’t need to say goodbye.

 

_ “I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye”  _

 

Another sob scraped against his burning throat.

 

“Hey, Five, c’mon buddy i need you to breath for me” Klaus says, inhaling deeply “just like this peach”

 

Klaus chest rises and falls, Five’s head rising and falling with it. 

 

Five copies it. 

 

Up and down, a steady rise and fall. 

 

In, out, in, out, in, out 

 

“There you go, just like that” Klaus says gently, rubbing soothing circles on Five’s back in time with his breathing “ok buddy, can you tell me why you’re so upset now?” 

 

“I had a nightmare” Five mumbles weakly into Klaus’ chest

 

“Five, i can’t hear you, you gotta look at me peach. Just for a minute” 

 

Five lifts his head, watery eyes meeting Klaus’ concerned gaze

 

“I had a nightmare” he mumbles again 

 

“you were all gone and The Handler was there and when i woke up i couldn’t find anyone. You were all gone again and i was alone” Five rambles, dropping his head back onto Klaus’ chest when he feels the tears begin again. 

 

Klaus hums quietly, standing up slowly and adjusting his arms so Five won’t fall

 

“It’s ok now Five” he says “nightmares over, you’re safe. I promise you’re safe” 

 

* * *

 

Klaus carries Five to the living room. When he tries to put Five down on the couch, Five tightens his grip on Klaus’ shirt even more somehow

 

“Hey buddy, it’s alright, i’m just going to get you some water, i’ll be back before you know it”  he soothes and Five shakes his head

 

“Don’t wanna be alone” he mumbles, tears are still shining in his eyes

 

“How about i leave Ben here with you? Do some seance brand voodoo and make him corporal just for you” Klaus suggests, prying Five’s hand off his shirt and setting him on the couch as Five nods slowly. 

 

Klaus’ hands glow a gentle blue, Ben fading into view beside him slowly

 

“I’ll be back soon” Klaus promises, tapping Five’s leg gently before he leaves. Ben sits beside Five, offering comfort that Five gladly takes, laying his head on Bens lap. 

 

“I missed you” Five says quietly, playing with Ben’s fingers absently 

 

“I missed you too Five” Ben says, equally as quiet. Five had missed Ben, so much. Even knowing that Ben was in the room. 

 

It was so much different to this, to being able to feel and to hear. Another tear dripped onto Bens jeans

 

“I loved the rock you gave me” Ben says, gently using the hand Five wasn’t holding to wipe the tears away “it was very nice”

 

“Vanya read me the prince and the pauper” Five says, turning his head to look up at Ben. 

 

“Did you like it?” Ben smiles at him gently and Five shrugged

 

“We didn’t read much. I fell asleep during the second chapter” he says and Ben nods

 

“I’ll have to come sit with you next time you read it”

 

“I’d like that” Five says. 

 

Klaus reammerges, with Five’s cup in one hand and a raggedy looking teddy bear in the other.

 

“I got you water” he says, Five sits up gently, taking the cup from Klaus’ hand and sipping at it slowly, almost sighing when he feels it sooth his burning throat. 

 

“I found this earlier, i thought it might help” Klaus says, holding the bear out for Five to see. It was tan and old, with black plastic eyes and a sewn on frown. It had stitches across it’s stomach, leg and ear.

 

“I think it might’ve been Luthers, with how torn up it is” Klaus mumbles. 

 

Luther used to break his toys all the time, he had never been able to control his strength properly when they were younger and wreck them.

 

The stitches reminded Five of Frankenstein's monster as he took the bear in his hands carefully. 

 

It’s fur wasn’t soft and it’s mouth was a stitched on frown, Five ran his finger over it gently. 

 

It smelt of dust and cardboard, it’s eyes were a hard plastic. The only pristine part of the bear was the blue ribbon tied around its neck. 

 

Five loved it. 

 

“Thank you”

 

He says, barely above a whisper. Klaus smiles at him and Ben flicks out of view, Klaus taking his place beside Five. 

 

“How about we watch a movie until the others get home yeah?” he suggest and Five nods, leaning into Klaus’ side, the bear held loosely in one hand and his cup in the other. Klaus grins at him. 

 

“How do you feel about Dumbo?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep hurting my son and it just be like that sometimes. on the bright side Ben Cuddles happened


	11. Horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t know you had a cat” Klaus says, petting Horse with an ear splitting grin. Vanya sighs
> 
> “Not by choice” she says
> 
> ____
> 
> Horse follows Vanya back to the academy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like steam fried garbage, however, I wrote this. so enjoy, I really didn't think I'd get a chapter out today with the rate I was going

Five doesn’t pay very much attention to what’s going on in the movie but he understands the basics. 

 

Jumbo the elephant can fly with his ears and for some reason they call him Dumbo, he lives at a circus and his mother is locked up for some reason. There’s a mouse in a marching band uniform but Five isn’t really sure what he’s there for. 

 

The movie doesn’t make a lot of sense, so Five tunes it out. Focusing on the colours and the background noise as he silently studies the bear with the Frankenstein stitches. 

 

He imagines Luther, when he had been small and scared of the dark just like the rest of them, squeezing the teddy bear just a little too hard one night. He can imagine Diego deciding that he wanted it and deciding to play a game of tug of war for it. 

 

Or maybe Klaus had gotten his hands on it, thrown it around, made a bit of a mess. Or Ben had found it and decided to play doctor. 

 

Maybe Allison sat beside whichever nanny had been present at the time, watching her sew the bear back together. Maybe Vanya had offered her own as a substitute, because that seemed like such a very Vanya thing to do.

 

Not that it mattered, they were all maybe’s and what ifs and vague memories that were more sensations than thoughts at this point. 

 

Klaus had his arm around Five’s shoulder, a comforting reminder that he wasn’t alone. Ben was still there, though Five isn’t sure where he is right now.

 

FIve sipped at his water slowly. His face felt dry and his eyes itched. 

 

He rubbed at them, trying to make the itch go away. Klaus glanced down at him

 

“You ok peach?” he asks. Five isn’t sure where the nickname came from, it sounded stupid to him 

 

“My name is Five, Klaus” Five mumbles

 

“C’mon, it’s a special nickname, just for you” Klaus says, poking Five in the cheek gently. Five pushes his hand away with no real force 

 

“Peach is dumb” Five mumbles, dropping his head onto Klaus’ lap and closing his eyes, it stung for a moment, before the itch resided and Five sighed

 

“Oh well, that’s what i’m calling you” Klaus says, absently stroking Five’s head “you tired buddy?” 

 

“No” Five mumbles, with his eyes still closed “just resting m’ eyes”

 

“Oh of course, just resting your eyes. I’ll let you get back to it then” Klaus says gently and Five sighs again

 

* * *

 

Vanya loves teaching kids violin, she does, but this girls mother had been talking to her for at least 20 minutes about things Vanya had no business knowing while her daughter pet Horse. 

 

“And my arthritis has been acting up again, your building doesn’t have an elevator you know that?” Vanya nods along to whatever Mrs Peters was saying, watching Rebecca while Horse mewled for more scratches. 

 

Rebecca held little interest in actually learning the violin but she enjoyed coming to see Vanya and she adored it when Horse stopped by to visit during her lessons. 

 

She had a bright pink violin that so far she could play mary had a little lamb on but was progressing through twinkle twinkle quickly.

 

She was about Fives physical age, possibly a little older. And her mother, never stopped talking. 

 

Usually Vanya didn’t mind but right now, she wanted to get back to the academy as quickly as possible. 

 

“I’m sorry, Mrs Peters but i’ve got to get going. I left my son with my brother for the afternoon and i need to go pick him up” Vanya says, gently picking Horse up off the ground and putting him outside.

 

Rebecca pouted at her and Mrs Peters looked delighted 

 

“Oh, i didn’t know you had a son, how old is he?” 

 

“Um.. four, he’ll be five in october” Vanya says, sliding the window closed as Mrs Peters ushered Rebecca out the door. Horse scratches at the glass to be let back in. 

 

“Oh, maybe we could set up a play date between Rebecca and him”  Mrs Peters says, as Vanya pulls her door shut behind her 

 

“Of course” Vanya agrees easily, hoping it’ll make Mrs Peters leave sooner. 

 

“Bye Miss Vanya” Rebecca says, shoving her arms through her coat quickly and waving 

 

“Bye Rebecca, have a good week” Vanya says. Mrs Peters smiles, bustling down the stairs with Rebecca’s hand in her own.

 

* * *

 

Mr Jovevski is sitting by the door, stroking Horse’s fur absently while he reads when Vanya comes down the stairs. 

 

“How did he even get down here so fast?” Vanya asks, scratching behind Horse’s ear and rolling her eyes at his petulant stare 

 

“Big boy runs fast” Mr Jovevski says, as Horse jumps off his lap and brushes against Vanya’s legs, purring haughtily “going out?” 

 

“Yeah, back to my-”

 

“Your son? The little one from this morning?” Mr Jovevski asks and Vanya nods

 

“Yeah, back to him” Mr Jovevski nods, humming as he leans back, reaching his hand into his pocket 

 

“give him this” He hands Vanya a chocolate, smiling at her and winking “a nice treat, so he won’t be afraid next time” 

 

“Thank you Mr Jovevski”

 

“Stefan”

 

“Thank you  _ Stefan _ , i’ve got to get going now” 

 

“Of course, have fun with your family Miss Vanya” Mr Jovevski says, with an idle wave of his hand, turning back to his book. 

 

Horse follows Vanya out the door 

 

“Horse, you’re not coming with me, i’m taking a cab” 

 

Horse meows with displeasure, fixing Vanya with the cat equivalent of Five’s death stare

 

“Don’t look at me like that you brat, i’m not taking you with me” 

 

* * *

 

Five had woken up a few minutes ago, though he hadn’t moved. His eyes were half open and he was using his thumb and forefinger to rub the blue ribbon tied around the bears neck together. 

 

He’d decided to call the bear Dr B Frankenstein, in the few minutes since he’d woken up. Though that seemed too long so he’d also decided to call him Frankie for short. 

 

Klaus was chatting to Ben about a book Five hadn’t heard of, judging by Klaus’ responses, Ben didn’t like the book very much, though it didn’t sound like Klaus did either. 

 

“Quit being so judgemental Ben, this lady just wanted to get her rocks off and she managed to make millions out of it. You’ve gotta give her props for it” Klaus says, flipping the page with one hand “i gotta admit though, terrible BDSM etiquette” 

 

Five wrinkles his nose

 

“Klaus, stop reading an erotica while i’m in the same room as you” he snipes and Klaus puts the book down, poking Five in the cheek 

 

“Look who’s joined the land of the living, no offense Ben” Klaus says, tacking on the end part quietly “i was beginning to think you’d slipped into a coma or something”

 

“I wasn’t asleep for that long” Five mumbles, rubbing his eyes gently to rid them of the sleep. 

 

It hadn’t been dark outside when he’d fallen asleep the second time though. Now it was. Vanya should be home by now

 

“Is Vanya home?” 

 

“Nope, not yet but she should be arriving very shortly” Klaus says “how was your nap?”

 

“I wasn’t taking a nap Klaus, i’m not a toddler” so what if it was a bald faced lie? The only thing Five had going for himself at this point was outright denial 

 

“Well then how was resting your eyes” Klaus says snarkily, stretching back now that Five wasn’t leaning on him

 

“It was fine” Five says, rolling his eyes at Klaus. The front door opens, Five is off the couch in an instant, jumping to greet Vanya. 

 

“Hey! We were bonding!” he hears Klaus shout. 

 

Vanya has Horse in her arms. Why the fuck does Vanya have Horse in her arms?

 

“Why do you have Horse with you?” Five asks, as the cat jumps down from Vanya’s hold and rubs against Five’s legs. Five stiffens momentarily, before bending down to pet him. 

 

“The little bastard hopped in the cab with me right before i closed the door” she says, her exasperation with Horse evident “the driver didn’t notice though, so he got away with it” 

 

Five hums and Horse looks smug as he flicks his tail at Vanya, who pokes her tongue out at him before turning back to Five. 

 

“What's with the bear?” 

 

“Klaus gave it to me” Five says, Klaus appearing in the doorway as if summoned. Vanya smiles at him

 

“How’d it go?” she asks 

 

“Well, i found Five crying in the hallway because he had a nightmare but other than that it went swell. Five went right back to sleep once he’d calmed down” Klaus says, Vanya lifts Five onto her hip, sweeping his hair out of his eyes gently. 

 

“Are you ok?” she asks, Five nods silently. His hand curled around Frankie but he resisted the urge to hide his face in it’s fur. Horse mewled, demanding attention.

 

“Who’s cat?” Klaus asks, face twisted with confusion

 

“Mine” Vanya mumbles, using her foot to stroke Horses belly “you’re such a brat” she mutters, glaring at Horses smug satisfaction. 

 

“I didn’t know you had a cat” Klaus says, petting Horse with an ear splitting grin. Vanya sighs 

 

“Not by choice” she says, Horse chirps at her

 

“what’s their name?” Klaus asks, cooing as Horse preens at the attention

 

“Horse” Vanya replies, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Aren’t you pretty Horse” Klaus says, petting Horse gently. Vanya scoffs 

 

“He’s a brat and an attention whore” she says, watching Klaus pick Horse up 

 

“Well, there isn’t anything wrong with that now is there?” Klaus says, scratching Horses chin. Vanya rolls her eyes at them

 

“You two are going to be a dangerous pair” she mumbles as her phone begins to ring. She sighs, fishing it out of her pocket and using her shoulder to keep it in place so she can keep holding Five

 

“Hello?” she says, Five can hear Allison on the other end of the line

 

_ “Hey Vanya, are you with the others?” _

 

“I’m with Klaus and Five, what’s up?”

 

_ “Diego wants to take mom to that pizzeria down on 5th, do you guys want to come? My shout” _

 

“Klaus do you want free pizza?” Vanya asks. Klaus nods enthusiastically 

 

“Fuck yeah” he looks to his side “Ben says yes too” 

 

“What about you Five? You feel up to eating out?” she asks. Five nods, twisting Frankie’s ribbon around his fingers tightly. 

 

“Yeah, ok. Can you come pick us up?” Vanya says into the phone 

 

_ “Of course, i’ll be there in 20. Put on warm clothes, it’s cold outside now” _

 

“Alright, we’ll see you soon” Vanya says, hanging up the phone “she said put on warm clothes”

 

“Hell yeah, free food” Klaus says, letting Horse drop from his arms and skipping away to find his coat. 

 

“Do you even have a coat for me?” Five asks quietly. Vanya pauses, pursing her lips into a thin line 

 

“Well no, but how hard could it be to find one?”

  
  



	12. blue coats and buttons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But you do need to wear the jacket” Vanya says, taking the jacket from Klaus and passing it to Five for him to put on. Five drops it to the floor, choosing to pet Horse instead. Vanya sighs
> 
> ___
> 
> Five is stubborn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it only took 12 chapter but there's finally a tiny hint of a plot beginning to happen

Very hard. That’s how hard it could be to find one.

 

Even with all of them looking they hadn’t been able to find a single coat that would fit Five well enough to keep him warm.

 

“I don’t fucking believe this” Vanya mumbles, shoving another useless box to the side “there’s what? 30 something rooms that are being used solely to store useless junk and not a single one of them has winter coats?”

 

Horse makes a noise from the box he had perched himself on. Five sifts through another box, finding nothing but old papers and notes from business transaction from what he thinks is the early 1800’s  

 

Frankie was sitting beside Horse, Five had put him there to keep him away from the dust.

 

Five was getting sick of looking for a coat

 

“I don’t have to wear a coat” he says, pushing the box away from him, Vanya looks up from the one she was rummaging through

 

“Yes you do” she says, her tone not allowing any form of argument. Five argues anyway

 

“Why? I’m used to a lot harsher weather than light rain and a bit of wind” he says

 

“You’ll get sick if you don’t wear a coat”

 

“We’re going to be inside, i don’t think i’ll get sick”

 

“You’re wearing a coat Five” Vanya says, sighing when she still doesn’t find what she wants “we seriously need to clean this stuff out”

 

Five shoves the box further away, sitting beside Horse with Frankie on his lap. He didn’t need to wear a coat, he’d be fine. This was just a boring waste of time.

 

Klaus appears in the doorway, holding up a dark blue winter jacket and a red beanie that Five has never seen before in his life

 

“Where’d you get those?” Vanya asks, standing up and kicking the boxes to the side

 

“Well, i made the beanie ages ago and i found the jacket in the basement with all of our old uniforms” Klaus informs them. Five frowns, crossing his arms with a scowl

 

“I don’t need to wear a coat. Or a beanie”

 

“Aww, but i worked so hard on it. look, it even has a pom pom on it” Klaus flicks the pom pom and Five rolls his eyes

 

“I don’t need to wear a beanie” he says

 

“But you do need to wear the jacket” Vanya says, taking the jacket from Klaus and passing it to Five for him to put on. Five drops it to the floor, choosing to pet Horse instead. Vanya sighs

 

“Five, please just put the jacket on”

 

“I don’t need it” Five says, scratching Horses chin, eliciting a content purr from the cat. Vanya picks the jacket up off the floor, offering it to Five again

 

“Either you put it on or i put it on for you” she says. Five rolls his eyes.

 

Vanya rolls her eyes right back at him, holding his arm out and shoving it through the sleeve

 

“Hey!”

 

“I told you i was gonna do this, why are you surprised?” Vanya asks, repeating the process with Fives other arm. Klaus had wisley fled the scene a little while ago. Vanya buttons the jacket up and Five glowers at her. She smiles at him smugly

 

“Come on Five, it’s just a jacket” she says

 

“I don’t need it” Five pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Everyone is going to be wearing a jacket because it’s cold and raining” Vanya says, offering her hand for Five to take as they walk down the stairs

 

“I don’t need to wear a jacket. I’ll be fine without one” Five says, jumping down the stairs and tugging Vanya down with him

 

“Even if you don’t need it, it’s better that you wear it. Just in case” Vanya says as they approach the door. Klaus is leaning against the wall, tying his shoelaces, the beanie was on the ground beside him

 

“In case of what?” Five asks. Vanya shrugs

 

“Rain? Wind? Snow? Spontaneous natural disasters?” she says, pulling her buts on and lacing them quickly, handing Five his velcro sneakers.

 

“None of that’s going to happen” Five says, sitting down to put the shoes on. Klaus puts the hat on his head and Five pulls his off, sending him a glare. Vanya shrugs again

 

“You can take the jacket off once we’re in the pizzeria, quit being stubborn” Vanya says, Klaus tries to put the beanie back on Fives head but Five smacks his hand away.

 

Allison's horn beeps outside.

 

* * *

 

Klaus sits in the back with Five, talking to Five and Ben about the old ladies in his knitting group and the stories of their wild youth.

 

Vanya sat in the front with Allison, as Allison relayed the conversation she had with her publicist and agent earlier. Five paid more attention to that

 

“I had to do an over the phone interview, Nadine fielded most of the questions for me and most of her answers were no comment. which buys us some time to get a solid backstory together for Five” she says, pausing at the red light

 

“Why would we need to do that?” Klaus asks, apparently listening in as well

 

“Because if we have a solid answer for people’s questions, they’re less likely to pry into our private lives or make up ridiculous rumours”

 

“Except for maybe the particularly crazy ones” Five says. Frankie was still in his lap, which no one really questioned. Klaus had put the beanie on Frankie's head, claiming that he would get cold otherwise and Five had yet to take it off.

 

Allison nods, her eyes flicking to him in the rearview mirror

 

“Yeah, except for them but they usually get dismissed pretty easily” she says, turning the corner into the pizzeria parking lot “you and Vanya should still figure out a solid story, if we’re sticking to her being your mom”

 

Vanya shrugs as Allison turns off the car

 

“May as well, everyone I know already thinks he’s my kid” she says, unclipping her seatbelt. Five unclips his as well, sliding off the seat and pulling at the door. It doesn’t open.

 

He pulls again. It doesn’t open

 

“Allison your door is broken”

 

“No it’s not, i have the child lock on” she says, getting out of the car and opening the door for him. Five jumps down as Vanya walks around the car and holds her hand out. Klaus clambers out to, stumbling a little on the curb

 

“Diego and mom are already inside and Luther should be here soon if he’s not already” Allison says.

 

Five holds Vanya’s hand to walk across the parking lot, Frankie held tightly against his chest with his free arm.

 

* * *

 

The inside of the pizzeria is warm, Five’s face flushes from the sudden change in temperature, his ears, cheeks and nose all tingeing red.

 

“You can take your jacket off now” Vanya says, already removing her own. Five hands Frankie to Allison and she hold him dutifully as Five wiggles his arms out of the jacket and pulls it over his head. He doesn’t bother wasting his time trying to undo the buttons

 

“Five, you’re supposed to undo the clips, not just slide it off” Vanya says as Five takes Frankie back

 

“That would be a waste of time” he tells her as she takes the jacket off him. She rolls her eyes at him, taking his hand in her own once more as Allison leads them through the restaurant.

 

* * *

 

Diego, Luther and Mom were already seated and chatting quietly amongst themselves when they arrived.

 

Five climbs onto the seat beside Vanya, Allison sitting on her other side.

 

Klaus walks around the table, kissing mom on the cheek lightly and poking Diego just to annoy him. He flicks Luther's ear and steals his water, before rounding the table again and attempting to sit beside Five.

 

“No” Five says, pushing Klaus’ shoulder to make him move

 

“What do you mean no?” Klaus asks, batting Five’s hands away

 

“I mean no, Ben’s going to sit there” Five says, pushing Klaus harder “go sit beside Diego”

 

Klaus makes a noise of mock offence, getting up and sitting beside Diego with an exaggerated pout, sipping at Luther’s water. Allison laughs at him at the same time Diego rolls his eyes. Mom smiles pleasantly at them.

 

“How was everyone’s day?” she asks

 

“Five got a lady kicked out of the store today” Vanya says, looking at the menu idly

 

“You helped” Five defended. Klaus looked delighted

 

“Do tell” he says, leaning forward on his elbows

 

“There’s nothing to tell” Five says, at the same time Vanya says

 

“Some women in the change rooms was trying to impart manners on Five so he made a scene and got her kicked out”

 

“So how’d you help?” Allison asks

 

“Oh, i played along” she says “i’m not going to eat an entire pizza, Five do you wanna share with me?”

 

“Whatever” Five says, twisting Frankie’s ribbon “what did you and Diego do mom?” he asks. Mom smiles at him

 

“We went to an art museum. It was lovely, the paintings were beautiful” she says “what’s your friends name?”

 

“Dr B Frankenstein” Five answers “he prefers Frankie”

 

If Five notices the worried glances his siblings send each other across the table, he doesn’t say anything about it.

  



	13. Carmichael

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What would you like to drink?” he asks
> 
> “Vodka” 
> 
> ___
> 
> Five and the trials of being four when your mentally an adult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet this went from 0-10 real fucking fast

Five did notice the worried glances. He noticed Diego’s lingering concerned gaze, he noticed Luther’s furrowed brow and Allison biting her lip. Of course he noticed, they were all obvious, barely trying to hide their concern for him. 

 

Five didn’t show is emotions of his face often, he had been good at appearing neutral in all situations, impassive and uncaring. Even if that particular ability had been harder to access than it should have been as of late, he knew how to do it. 

 

His siblings, did not.

 

Five wanted to be annoyed at them for it. He wanted to think their concern was unwarranted and patronising. He couldn’t, not with the past few days. 

 

Not with the nightmares. Not when the thought of Vanya going away made him want to cry, not when the commission would still be after him, not when he can’t even hold a gun properly let alone shoot it, not when coffee makes his tongue burn and a stitched together teddy bear gave him so much comfort that he had refused to leave it at home.

 

Clearly, something was wrong. Clearly, that something was getting worse. 

 

Five didn’t want to think about what that meant. 

 

* * *

 

Their waiter comes over, he’s not much older than 16 and has greasy hair. He smiles at Five when Five glares at him

 

“Hi, my names Dominic, i’m going to be your waiter for tonight. Would you guys like to order some drinks?” he asks, holding up his pen and notepad.

 

“Sure” Allison smiles at him brightly “I’ll have a virgin pina colada” 

 

Five listens to Klaus quietly hum the pina colada song under his breath and nudge Diego in an attempt to get him to join in.

 

“I’ll just have a coke, thank you” Vanya says, smiling at Dominic

 

“Orange soda, pretty please” Klaus says with a grin, abruptly cutting of his humming

 

“I’ll have a beer, thanks” Diego says. Klaus wrinkles his nose at him 

 

“Real men drink beer” Five hears him whisper mockingly, Five scoffs quietly, 

 

“I’ll just have water, thank you” mom says pleasantly as Diego flicks Klaus’ ear. 

 

“I’m fine with water as well, thank you” Luther says. Dominic nods and turns to Five 

 

“What would you like to drink?” he asks 

 

“Vodka” silence follows, then the sound of Vanya’s palm slapping against her forehead and Klaus breaks into a fit oh wheezing giggles. Dominic looks a little shell shocked but he’s grinning 

 

“I don’t know if we can give you vodka but we have homemade lemonade with swirly straws if that’s ok?” he says, trying to contain his laughter. 

 

“That’s fine” Five says. Allison's shoulders are shaking with laughter and Klaus hasn’t calmed down yet. He doesn’t get what’s so funny.

 

“Klaus what does Ben want?” Five asks, Klaus takes a deep breath, turning back to Dominic

 

“Can we also have a grape soda” he says, Dominic nods 

 

“Sure, i’ll be back with those in a minute” he says, smiling and turning away. Klaus breaks into a new fit of obnoxious giggling.

 

“Why are you laughing so much?” Five asks, which only prompts Klaus to wheeze harder and Vanya to groan, her head still in her hands. Diego decides to answer him. 

 

“Five, buddy, you asked for vodka”

 

“And?”

 

“in your tiny four year old body, with your tiny four year old voice, you asked for vodka” Klaus wheezes, Five can see the tears forming in his eyes. It wasn’t that funny. “That poor waiter, he didn’t know what the fuck he was supposed to do”

 

Allison chuckles 

 

“I think he handled it pretty well” she says. Five rolls his eyes. 

 

“It wasn’t that funny” 

 

“Maybe to you, i thought it was hilarious” Klaus says, wiping his eyes and taking a deep breath “Ben was laughing too”

 

“Well Ben is a traitor” Five decides, crossing his arms, prompting Frankie to tumble off his lap and onto the floor. Vanya reaches down to pick him back up. 

 

“It was a little funny” she says, handing Frankie back to Five. Five rolls his eyes, inspecting Frankie carefully, making sure he hadn’t been hurt. 

 

He didn’t think it was funny. Neither did Frankie.

 

The bell above the door chimes loudly, signalling a new customer entering the store.

 

Five feels his stomach twist.

 

* * *

 

Dominic returns with their drinks, then disappears again to tend to his other tables, giving them a few minutes to finalise their orders. 

 

Five doesn’t particularly care either way what Vanya gets them but she hands him the menu anyway, asking him his opinion on what to have. Five doesn’t answer properly, mumbling and shrugging in lieu of actual words. He wasn’t hungry anyway

 

His insides feel funny, twisting uncomfortably the longer he sits still. The chatter of the restaurant grates against his ears and it doesn’t seem to matter how hard he squeezes Frankie to his chest, the feeling that he can’t breath won’t go away.

 

It was that stupid feeling of vulnerability creeping up on him. The resolute knowledge that he was in danger like this, sounding an alarm in his head.

 

He wasn’t in danger. He was in a pizzeria with his superpowered siblings.  _ He _ had super powers and combat training, even at four. There was no danger. 

 

A woman walking behind them brushes against Five and he tensed. He didn’t like this. 

 

Maybe he was just off-kilter. He’d already had a long day, maybe it was just a lingering panic from the nightmare. It wasn’t anything to be concerned about. 

 

He needed a break. 

 

He slides off his chair, setting Frankie in his place. The others all glance at him 

 

“Where are you going?” Allison asks. Five forces himself to look annoyed rather than panicked 

 

“To the bathroom” he grits out, Luther looks like he’s about to stand up and follow “i’m going alone, Luther” he says pointedly 

 

“Five, one of us should be with you” Allison says, concerned and motherly and now Five was actually annoyed.

 

“It’s the bathroom, Allison” he says, rolling his eyes at her “it’s barely a few meters away. I think i can manage without one of you idiots holding my hand” 

 

He walks away before any of them respond, knowing he’d end up losing whatever argument they were about to make with him. 

 

The bathroom isn’t far away, in fact it’s in plain view of their table. He’d be fine without one of them hovering over him.

 

He pushes the door open, letting it slam shut behind him. He’d be fine.

 

* * *

 

The bathroom is tiled entirely white until about halfway up the wall. Then it’s just painted concrete. Five can only just see the top of his head in the mirror. 

 

He stubbornly uses the kicked over blue bucket shoved in the corner as a stool so he can reach the fawcett. 

 

He turns it on, splashing water on his face quickly and avoiding looking in the mirror. It only made the twisting in his stomach grow. To see himself, so much younger and so plainly not himself. He scrubs at his hands mechanically, keeping his gaze trained on the running water

 

“Hello Number Five” 

 

Five startles, spinning around on his heel and toppling off the bucket. A hand grips his forearm, steadying him before he hits the ground. 

 

Five pulls his arm away quickly, backing away from the possible threat. 

 

That possible threat being a man about the same height as Luther, in an oversized trench coat with an unsettling frown on his face. 

 

“Careful Number Five” the man says “you may get hurt”

 

Five could hear the underlying threat well enough to know that whoever this guy was, he was bad. 

 

“Who’re you?” Five spits.

 

“My name is Carmichael. I’m the new head of the commission” he says 

 

fucking great. Isn’t that just fucking perfect?

 

“Of course you are” Five mumbles “are you here to kill me or kidnap me?” 

 

Carmichael lets out a humourless laugh 

 

“I’m only here to introduce myself” he says, shutting off the water “i’ve heard many things about you”

 

He stands in front of Five, his hands behind his back and standing straight. He scans Five briefly 

 

“I must admit, i’m a little underwhelmed” he says “i was expecting someone a little, older”

 

“Well, you can thank your predecessor for the disappointment” Five says, tightening his hands into a fist. Carmichael hums. 

 

“Yes, the previous Handler. You had quite the effect on her” he says “i can assure you, i won’t be making the same mistakes” 

 

“And what does that mean?” Five asks

 

“The previous Handler let her anger at you cloud her judgement. That is ultimately what got her killed” Carmichael says “i do wonder what it is about you that has everyone so enamoured”

 

An uncomfortable feeling crawling across his skin. The old Handler would have trailed her hands down his face, poked and prodded to add to it. Five knew what to expect in those altercations. 

 

This man, this new Handler. He was different, unexpected. Five didn’t like unexpected.

 

“In any case, The Commission has deemed you low priority in your current state. I have been tasked with your case”

 

“You wouldn’t be tasked with my case if i was low priority” Five says, gauging his reaction to Five’s defiance. Carmichael pauses, an unsettling smug grin spreading across his face

 

“Very well, _ I  _ have deemed you a low priority” he says “While i understand you were revered previously, i am finding it difficult to see a threat in a little boy who plays with teddy bears” 

 

Five bristles, sneering at Carmichael. He doesn’t seem to pay any attention to it. 

 

“I’ll let you get back to your dinner” he says “i will be keeping my eye on you”

 

Five blinks and he’s gone. 

 

Fuck. 

  
  



	14. a little boy with a teddy bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d known the commission would show up again eventually, he wasn’t stupid. Even with The Handler being dead and gone they would still come after him. he just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon.
> 
> ___
> 
> Five in the aftermath of his conversation with Carmichael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha I stayed up too fucking late to write this last night and when I went back and read it this morning it did not make any damn sense

Fuck. 

 

The sink drips. Five stares at the empty space where Carmichael used to be dumbly. Fuck. 

 

He’d known the commission would show up again eventually, he wasn’t stupid. Even with The Handler being dead and gone they would still come after him. he just hadn’t expected it to happen so  _ soon. _

 

It hadn’t even been 2 days and she’d been replaced. 

 

The Handler had been a creep in her own right, a bitch and a sadist and she’d done it well. Five hadn’t like her, even if he had a grudging respect for her, he didn’t like her. 

 

But he  _ knew _ her. Knew what she’d do, how she worked, knew which buttons to push to make her slip and stumble and lose. He didn’t know Carmichael. 

 

_ “i am finding it difficult to see a threat in a little boy who plays with teddy bears”  _

 

Well, he knew he was an asshole. 

 

Five needed to fix this. He needed to get back to his old body and he needed to do it right fucking now. 

 

Even if his siblings could protect him, that hadn’t stopped the commission last time. It had been pure luck that he’d gotten away with no damage done, twice now. He didn’t count on his luck lasting.

 

He needed to fix this.

 

* * *

 

Five has been in the bathroom for 7 minutes and 46 seconds, according to Grace. Which is concerning. 

 

“It doesn’t take that long to piss” Klaus says, eyeing the door suspiciously

 

“He has been in there for a while” Luther says “do you think he’s ok?” 

 

Someone should go check on him. They all had a good feeling he wouldn’t like that all too much. 

 

“He’s least likely to straight up murder Vanya if she goes” Klaus says “y’know, with you being his pseudo-mommy and all that junk” he adds, waving his hand at Vanya vaguely. 

 

Vanya rolls her eyes at Klaus

 

“He won’t murder anyone. It’s not like he has a weapon with him” she says, getting out of her seat anyway “at least, i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a weapon with him”

 

“I don’t like how unconfident you sound about that” Allison says, Vanya waves her off with a shrug and vague ‘whatever’ gesture. 

 

She pushes open the bathroom door, receiving an odd look from the couple seated nearby.

 

Five is still there, washing his hands in the sink and standing on a blue bucket to reach. 

 

“Five?”

 

“This is the men's room Vanya” he says, his face blank and voice sarcastic “what part of i don’t need you to hold my hand don’t you understand?”

 

“You’ve been in here for a while Five, we were just making sure you didn’t get-”

 

“Kidnapped again?” he asks, rolling his eyes a he shuts off the fawcett and jumps off the bucket, kicking it into the corner

 

“Or murdered” Vanya says in an attempt to alleviate some of the tension. Five was acting weird, distant in a way he hadn’t been for a long time. He scoffs at her, pushing past her and back out the door, not sparing her a second glance as he returns to his seat. 

 

“that went well” Vanya mutters to herself.

 

* * *

 

Five sits back down, Vanya following soon after. Frankie is placed on Ben’s seat with no particular care and Five takes the straw out of his drink, handing it to Klaus silently.

 

There’s an obvious shift in Five’s mood. You could practically taste the irritation radiating off of him if you so much as spared him a glance. They choose to ignore it. He was probably just tired, if they were at home he’d be gearing up to go to sleep by now. 

 

Five knows he should probably tell his siblings about Carmichael and his little confrontation in the bathroom. He also knows if he does, they’ll never leave him alone.

 

_ “i am finding it difficult to see a threat in a little boy who plays with teddy bears”  _

 

It was an off handed comment, he hadn’t said it to mean anything. It was just an observation that he had made. That bothered Five the most.

 

It was just an observation. A simple fact, this is how Five appears at the moment. 

 

Not a threat, not someone to be cautious of, not someone to be taken seriously. He was just a little boy with a teddy bear. This was Carmichaels first impression of Five, legendary Five, The Commission's perfect weapon and greatest failure.

 

It bothered Five that it was the correct impression. 

 

He was an adult, one of the most effective and brutal assassins The Commission had once had to offer. He had bested them, manipulated them and won, several times over at this point. 

 

_ Was. _ past tense. 

 

Between the past Handler, his siblings shifted treatment of him and this new Handler, it was crystal clear that  _ everyone _ viewed it as was.

 

Everything from the past few days swirled around in his head. Nap times, bath times, a sippy cup and a car seat. Everything about what happened at the commission, the slight itch in his arm where he’d been shot. The nightmares that left him disoriented and crying, desperate for comfort he didn’t need.

 

Five wasn’t someone to be taken seriously. He wasn’t a threat or someone who could protect himself. That’s how he was viewed. That’s how he’d been acting. 

 

It needed to change. 

 

“Five? Are you tired?” Vanya asks from beside him, nudging his shoulder gently

 

“No” he says and for once, it wasn’t a lie. Vanya doesn’t look like she believes him. 

 

“Ok” she says, glancing sideways at Allison as if Five can’t fucking see her. He’s done with this. 

 

He pushes himself away from the table, sliding off the chair and heading for the door without so much as a second glance at his siblings. They don’t seem to get the message that he was leaving, because they’re all up in an instant, following him out the door. 

 

“Hey, Five where are you going?” Luther asks and Five rolls his eyes. The parking lot was dimly lit at best and no one was milling around

 

“Home, i have work to do” he spits 

 

“Five, if you wanted to go home you could’ve just asked” Allison says, placating and patronising without meaning to be

 

“ _I_ am going home. Just me.” he says, pointing to his siblings “you are going to stay here and do whatever it is you wanted to do because _you_ _are all_ _distractions_ and _i_ have work to do”

 

Allison crosses her arms and the others all seem to take a backseat to her. 

 

“And how are you getting home if all of us are staying here?” she asks, as if he’s a toddler throwing a tantrum. 

 

“I understand that you all collectively have one brain cell, but i didn’t think you were actually stupid enough to forget that i can  _ teleport”  _ he says, standing straight and rolling his eyes “clearly i gave you too much credit” 

 

Allison looks like she’s about to say something else but whatever it is, Five doesn’t hear. He’s gone before the words even leave her mouth.

 

* * *

 

They stood outside for a good minute in silence before Klaus speaks

 

“What the  _ fuck  _ was that?” he asks, looking between the others and where Five had been incredulously

 

“I think that was Five, telling us to fuck off and leave him alone” Diego supplies

 

“We should go home” Allison says “make sure he’s ok” 

 

Surprisingly it’s Vanya who shakes her head 

 

“No, if we all show up at the house after he just told us to stay here he’ll be even more pissed” she says “one of us should go but the rest of us should actually stay here”

 

“Well, i vote not me” Klaus says.

 

* * *

 

Five lands down the street from the academy and he stumbles out of the jump, managing to fall face first and scrape his palms against the concrete. Again. 

 

Five watches the blood well up and wipes it away on his jeans absently, ignoring the stinging and the tears prickling behind his eyes. His pain tolerance was better than that.

 

He walks the short distance between his landing and the academy front door. He didn’t bother trying to unlock it, just jumping into the foyer and continuing onto the infirmary. 

 

The files would be there. He’d need to look them over before he could begin the calculations necessary to reverse the drugs effects. In the meantime he may be able to find a way to reverse some of the side effects. Slow them down at the least.  

 

The house was dark and empty. Five ignored the anxiety crawling around on his insides. 

 

He was alone. 

 

He’d chosen to be alone. He needed to be alone so he could focus on his work. 

 

He chose this.

  
  



	15. Intended Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He ignored the way his heart stopped at every noise, he ignored the burning itch behind his eyes as fatigue caught up with him, he ignored the stinging in his palms and he ignored the part of him begging for him to go back to his siblings, back to safety.
> 
> He was perfectly safe where he was. He could defend himself just fine. Even if he was alone.
> 
> He’d chosen to be alone.
> 
> ____
> 
> Five tries to work

 

In the end it’s Vanya who goes after him, which surprises exactly no one. 

 

Allison would be too motherly, Luther too awkward, Diego too gruff, Klaus blatantly refused to go which was for the best.

 

Even though Klaus was the best of them at comfort, Five tended to be volatile at best when it came to receiving comfort, violent and vaguely life threatening at worst.

 

Vanya knew how to deal with Five. it was one of her many talents. 

 

So in the end, she’s the one Diego gives the keys to hermes to, she’s the one to pack up Frankie and Five’s blue coat and she’s the one to go find him.

 

* * *

 

The file didn’t contain much that could help Five, it didn’t matter how many times he read through it. It didn’t even contain what the drug was composed of. 

 

_ To revert the subject to a stage on incapability. intended effects include: impaired mental capacity, memory loss, impaired motor functions. Possible side effects include: emotional instability, increased possibility of dream anxiety disorder, nausea or headache (temporary). _

 

There were notes on him, seeing as he was the test subject. Five chose to ignore them, not feeling particularly up to reading about the overwhelming success of the drug. 

 

He wrote on the walls, scribbling away calculations and theories on how to get back to normal in a blue crayon that stained his hands. His bedside lamp was on, as was every other light he’d come across. 

 

He’d stolen more of Diego’s knives, stashed them in various places around his room and on his person. 

 

He ignored the way his heart stopped at every noise, he ignored the burning itch behind his eyes as fatigue caught up with him, he ignored the stinging in his palms and he ignored the part of him begging for him to go back to his siblings, back to safety. 

 

He was perfectly safe where he was. He could defend himself just fine. Even if he was alone. 

 

He’d chosen to be alone.

 

The crayon wears down to the point it’s unusable and Five has to pause. He has to stop and think and look at the blue covered walls.

 

His breath shudders and his eyes sting. He was not going to fucking cry.

 

He catches sight of his cup as he scans the wall. Sitting innocently enough on his bedside table, it brings Five an undefined amount of rage. 

 

He didn’t need a fucking sippy cup. Just like he didn’t need a car seat or to hold someone’s hand to cross the street. Just like he didn’t need Vanya to dry his hair or read him bedtime stories. Just like he didn’t need a  _ fucking _ teddy bear.

 

Five doesn't think much about it when he grabs the cup and throws it into the wall. It cracks loudly, the water still inside exploding across the room as the lid flies off.

 

Five is, unfortunately, within the blast radius. The water splatters across his shirt, just enough to make it uncomfortable to keep on.

 

“Five?” Vanya pushes his door open quietly, Five didn’t even hear her come home. 

 

“What do you want?” he asks, closing his eyes and breathing in sharply through his nose. His resolve to fisfight the universe was getting stronger with each inconvenience it sent his way.

 

“Just making sure you’re ok” she says, eyeing the water and the floor and where Five’s cup lay on the ground “you left pretty suddenly” 

 

Five wants to be aggravated at her, wants to brush off her concern, to tell her to fuck off exactly like he would if this was Luther or Diego. 

 

“I told you all to stay at the pizzeria” Five mumbles, averting his eyes from her and picking up the nearest writing utensil, a green sharpie. 

 

“I’m the only one who came home” she says, stepping in further. Five’s coat and Frankie were still in her hands. She sets them on the bed gently, avoiding the puddle on the floor “how’re the equation coming along?”

 

Five shrugs, because in truth they hadn’t been. They’d dissolved into frantic scribbles that Five himself wouldn’t be able to decipher if he tried. 

 

“I have a working theory on how to reverse this” he chooses to say. Ignoring that he didn’t make even marginal progress on the equations. Vanya nods at him, sitting back in a silent prompt for him to continue

 

“If i find a way to isolate the variables that affected my age when i first came back, i’ll be able to jump forward just a few minutes and manipulate those variables to my choosing”

 

“Can you do that?” Vanya asks 

 

“In theory” Five mumbles, scratching out a new equation. Five wasn’t sure if he’d be able to time travel, even just a few minutes forwards, not like this. It would take preparation, time and calculations. But it could happen, in theory.

 

“That’s great Five” Vanya says, smiling sincerely, at the same time Five yawns. “Are you tired?” 

 

“I need to work on this” Five mumbles, turning away from Vanya. He listens to her hum gently and stand as he scratches another equation onto the wall, blue bleeding into green. 

 

“At least put on your pajamas, so when you’ve finished you don’t have to worry about it” she says, standing up and opening Five’s drawer “any preference?” she asks

 

“I don’t _need you_ to pick out my pajamas _for me, Vanya._ ” He says, scathingly enough that Vanya flinches ever so slightly. Five almost feels bad about it.

 

“I wasn’t picking them for you, i was asking which ones you wanted” she mutters, handing him the first pair in the drawer “i’m going to get a towel”

 

She turns on her heel and leaves. Now Five does feel a little bad. 

 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t intended to make Vanya annoyed at him. If she was annoyed she’d leave him alone, stop hovering and  _ caring _ so much. It made his stomach churn now that he’d done it though. Idly he wonders if this is what Ben’s monsters felt like. 

 

If it was, Five could understand why he hated them so much.

 

Five eyes the pajamas, navy blue with multi coloured monsters on them. No buttons. 

 

He sighs.

 

* * *

 

When Vanya comes back, Five had changed into the pajamas and resumed writing on his walls in green sharpie.

 

She drops the towel onto the floor silently, using her foot to clean up the water. She hangs it over the back of Five’s desk chair once she’s finished, turning to him 

 

“I’m going to take a shower” she says “please don’t stay up too late”

 

Five pauses to look at her, standing in his doorway in one of her thousands of oversized sweaters and old jeans. It wasn’t late, not for her, but she looked tired anyway, sad as well. 

 

Five has the sinking feeling he’s the reason. 

 

He wants to apologise, he wants to explain it somehow. He wants to hug her, until she doesn’t look so tired. He doesn’t do any of that. 

 

“Ok” he says, watching her turn to leave

 

“Goodnight” he adds quietly, not even sure she’s heard him.

 

* * *

 

Five keeps writing on his wall until the green sharpie runs out. Long after Vanya’s shower had ended and the others had arrived back home. 

 

He ignores Klaus when he comes in, he glares a Allison and Luther, throws one of the many knives he’d collected at Diego’s head. He nods at mom, when she tells him to turn his lights off and go to sleep, not once pausing his hand to actually look at her. 

 

He thinks he imagines the tiny sigh he hears when she leaves his room. 

 

The hall lights flick off, the sound of footsteps and light conversation peters out. The moon gets brighter and the stars clearer but Five doesn’t stop until the sharpie runs out.

 

The ink had bled onto the tips of his fingers, his equations dissolved into an illegible mess that didn’t make all too much sense, his wall covered in smearing greens and blues from top to bottom.

 

His eyes burned. It was late. 

 

Slowly, he climbed off the chair he was standing on, tossing the dry marker onto his desk carelessly and pointedly ignoring where Frankie sat on the end of his bed.

 

He flicks his lamp off, the room swallowed in the darkness. The turning in his stomach increased, creeping up his spine and wrapping itself around his lungs, squeezing.

 

He looks to Frankie.

 

_ “i am finding it difficult to see a threat in a little boy who plays with teddy bears”  _

 

He kicks the bear off the bed, pulling the covers over his head and keeping his eyes shut. 

 

He ignores the tightness in his chest and the twisting in his stomach.

  
  



	16. Schuler & Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she knows nothing about small children or the protocol of what to do when they break into your bookstore.
> 
> ___
> 
> some poor random has to deal with Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this,, got way longer than it was supposed to be and it took way longer than I wanted it to.

The pizzeria was empty. If Five looked out the window he would see ash clouds and rubble and fires burning. 

 

Carmichael sat across from him, along with The Handler. Five was vaguely aware that none of this was real.

 

Frankie was in the middle of the table, head ripped off and ribbon ruined by ash. The Handler was tsking at him, shaking her head slowly. 

 

Five could feel the ash on his skin, it didn’t matter how many times he rubbed at his face to get rid of the feeling. 

 

“Now Five, you can’t just break your toys whenever you’re upset” The Handler says. Her voice doesn’t sound quite right. It sounded distant and it lacked the usual teasing lilt. Carmichael was silent.

 

Five hadn’t broken Frankie.

 

“I didn’t break him” Five defends. His own voice was childish and grating on his ears as out of place. Everything about this was out of place. 

 

The Handler shakes her head, clicking her tongue at Five. 

 

“Telling lies is naughty Five” she says. Five glances to Carmichael, whose head had turned into a fishbowl, a little goldfish swimming in circles. Five turned back to The Handler.

 

“Maybe if you weren’t so naughty, Vanya would have stayed” she continues and Five wrinkles his nose. He didn’t know Vanya had left.

 

“I’m not naughty” he says. He feels more like a puppet than a person.

 

“Then why did Vanya leave you?” The Handler asks. Why had Vanya left? 

 

Five couldn’t say. He couldn’t remember her leaving.

 

“I didn’t break Frankie” he repeats. 

 

“Telling lies is naughty Five” The Handler says again “good little boys don’t lie and they don’t break their toys” 

 

“I am good” Five says. He doesn’t know why he’s defending himself to The Handler about this of all the things. 

 

“Then why did Vanya leave you?” she asks again. Five still doesn’t know, he still didn’t know when Vanya had left

 

“Who broke Frankie?” he asks instead of answering.

 

“You did” she says “you broke him, because you’re a bad little boy”

 

“I’m not bad” he says. He wasn’t bad. He wasn’t naughty.

 

“Then why did Vanya leave you?” Five wanted her to stop asking him that

 

“I don’t know”

 

“It’s because you’re bad. You were very naughty Five” The Handler says “you made her tired and sad, so she didn’t want you anymore”

 

“That’s not true” Vanya loved him, she’d always want him.

 

“She couldn’t put up with you, so she left you here with us” she says “none of them wanted you”

 

She points her finger out the window. It’s not fire and ash and rubble anymore. 

 

It’s the park. His siblings are all there, sitting and playing and laughing. 

 

Vanya’s smiling, bright and wide and happy. They were all smiling. 

 

Without him. 

 

“None of them wanted you anymore” 

 

* * *

 

Five didn’t wake up crying or screaming. He didn’t wake up with no air in his lungs or the taste of ash in his mouth. He just woke up with an uncomfortable feeling that everything was  _ wrong _ .

 

His skin felt like it had bugs crawling across it and the tightness coiling around his insides clamped around his heart. 

 

He took a deep breath. It didn’t shudder and he didn’t choke. The air came in and out easily, the coolness of it burning his throat just a little.

 

That dream hadn’t been a good one, it had been uncomfortable and confronting in a weird sort of way but it wasn’t a nightmare, not something that warranted crying or screaming. 

 

It wormed around in his head anyway. The Handler sitting across from him, Frankie with his head torn off and stuffing flowing out. His siblings at the park, without him. 

 

_ “None of them wanted you” _

 

Suddenly his room felt too small. Everything around him just felt wrong and he wanted to get away. 

 

He wanted to go to Vanya or maybe Klaus. This wasn’t a nightmare though, this didn’t leave him shaking and unable to breath. This had just made him feel bad, made him feel out of place and lonely. 

 

It wasn’t something that warranted going to their rooms at 4 AM, not something that warranted waking them up and solidifying their views that he needed to be protected. 

 

If he went crawling to them every time he had a bad dream, he’d just be proving Carmichael right. No. Five could deal with this by himself just fine. 

 

He took another deep breath, pushing the covers back and letting his feet hit the cold floor. 

 

Vanya always had gotten him water when he’d had a nightmare. His cup was still on the floor, the lid sitting not to far from it. It was a start. 

 

He stepped forward quietly, his foot landing on something furry. Frankie, with his head still attached and ribbon pristine.

 

Five picked him up gently, holding him in his arm 

 

“I’m sorry I kicked you” he says. It was childish to think that he had hurt the bears feelings, it was a stuffed toy. It didn’t think or feel. He apologised anyway. 

 

Frankie doesn’t say anything back, not like Dolores would have. Five thinks that’s fine.

 

He keeps Frankie tucked into his elbow as he picks up his cup and creeps down the hallway quietly. His footsteps seem too loud in the silent house and the feeling that has curled around his rib cage pushed at his lungs. 

 

He breathed deep, worried his heart was beating loud enough to wake someone up.

 

It was still dark and Vanya’s door was shut. Five’s legs felt a little wobbly as he lingered in front of it. All he had to do was push it open, then Vanya would help him. She’d hug him and tell him she’d always want him and she would make all the bad feelings go away.

 

Five wanted that, he desperately wanted that. He took a deep breath, willing the tears that had formed in his eyes away.

 

The tightness in his chest unravelled briefly and for a minute he thought he’d be ok. Then it slammed back into him, wrapping around his bones and heart with an iron grip and it squeezed.

 

Five felt the air leave his lungs and the tears roll down his cheek. He wasn’t even crying for a real reason anymore. 

 

He didn’t mean to jump. His skin felt tight and the fabric of the universe itched at his hands, making it so much worse. He’d just wanted the itch to stop, he wanted the tight feeling to go away. He just wanted to go away. 

 

He jumped. 

 

He landed in a bookstore, or maybe it was just a small library. It didn’t matter. What matters was the books lining the shelves that towered above him. 

 

Books were good, books meant a brief reprieve from his feelings and the twisting in his insides.

 

Five wiped the stray tears from his cheeks, sniffling in a way that sounded pathetic. 

 

He put Frankie on one of the shelves, scanning it quickly before turning to the bear

 

“You should pick” he says. He imagines Frankie nodding and the little bear pacing across the shelf trying to find the perfect book. 

 

Five will deny that he giggles at the thought until the day he dies.

 

* * *

 

Edith Schuler was for all intents and purposes a completely normal bystander. 

 

She just so happened to own a bookstore, that just so happened to contain a small child in monster pajamas dozing on her favourite armchair with an open book in his lap and teddy bear held loose under his arm, at what just so happened to be 5 AM. 

 

It also just so happens she knows nothing about small children or the protocol of what to do when they break into your bookstore. 

 

She decides to check the windows and make sure nothing had been stolen, ignoring the sleeping child entirely for the moment.

 

The windows were fine, sealed and unbroken. At first glance, the only thing missing from her stock was the book the child currently had with him. 

 

The child that she would probably have to do something about. 

 

Jesus christ today was going to be a weird one.

 

* * *

 

Vanya woke up a good hour before her alarm was set, the sun had only just started to rise and the house was still silent. 

 

She rolled out of bed quietly, stretching and groaning at the cold air. She thinks it may have snowed lightly. 

 

She pulls a hoodie on over her pajama top, she thinks it may be Klaus’ because she knows it’s not hers and it reaches her knees. She pulls her hair tie out, raking her fingers through the tangles briefly. 

 

She doesn’t bother stopping to properly brush her hair as she makes her way down the hall. 

 

Five had gone to sleep late, his bedroom light had still been shining under the door by the time Vanya had climbed into her bed to sleep. She was just going to make sure he’d gotten even a little sleep. 

 

And probably force him into bed if he hadn’t.

 

She would have knocked if his door hadn’t already been wide open. His sheets were rumpled, Frankie and his cup were no longer in the room. 

 

At least he had been asleep. Now Vanya was just faced with the issue of where he was now. 

 

He’d mentioned hanging out with Luther early in the morning once. 

 

That was a good enough place to start.

 

* * *

 

Edith Schuler had decided she probably needed to wake up this child.

 

She also decided that she would rather walk on hot coal barefoot for a mile than even attempt to do that. So she let him be, leaving him on the armchair after carefully extracting the book and putting it back on the shelf.

 

She went about her usual morning routine, of taking stock and checking the til and putting up the signs and arranging the displays. She’d glance at the kid every now and then, who had shifted so the bear was held tightly to his chest and his thumb was in his mouth. 

 

She might think it was cute if the circumstances weren’t so weird. 

 

In the end, she didn’t need to wake him up. He did it himself. 

 

“What the fuck?” she heard him groan quietly.

 

Edith Schuler was a grown woman, she owned a nice apartment and her own store, she paid taxes and all that grown up stuff. 

 

That did not mean she didn’t lose her shit at the sound of a tired and grumpy four year old so utterly bewildered to wake up in some randoms bookstore.

 

Laughing was a mistake, because now the child was looking at her. 

 

“Did you kidnap me?” he asks, blunt and bored. Edith thinks he doesn’t sound much like a four year old. 

 

“I don’t think so” she says, because does it count as kidnapping if they just kind of showed up and you didn’t know what else to do with them?

 

The child scoffs at her

 

“You were here when i came in this morning” she says, putting her broom down and feeling a little awkward. She didn’t know how to talk to children “did you break in?”

 

That felt like a very stupid question to ask a toddler. The child looks at her, dead in the eye. 

 

“Yes” he says and Edith has to put her head in her hands. This entire situation was ridiculous. 

 

“My names Eddie” she says, looking at the child who was perusing around her store with the air of a lawyer and a teddy bear held in his hand loosley. She finds her assessment was right. 

 

Today was going to be so weird.

 

“My name is Five” the child says. Edith would question it, she would but honestly, that wasn’t the weirdest part of this situation.

 

“I’m not sure what the protocol is when small children break and enter” she says and Five laughs at her again “do you want me to call anyone to pick you up?” 

 

Five pauses, his face scrunches a little and he shakes his head. 

 

“No, i’ll be fine to get home on my own” Edith should probably insist. She doesn’t. 

 

“Ok” she says dumbly, deciding to recheck the till. Five glances at her walls briefly then turns to her

 

“You don’t have a clock”

 

She did, technically, in the breakroom. It was broken but she did have one. 

 

“It’s about 5:30 in the morning” she says, because that’s why he was looking for a clock right?

 

He swears under his breath as Eddie looks away to lock the till. 

 

When she looks up again he’s gone.

 

Seriously.  _ What the fuck. _

 

* * *

 

Vanya doesn’t find Five with Luther, or in any of the places Five would usually be hiding. 

 

Vanya doesn’t think it’s abnormal that she can’t find him, Five has a habit of hiding away when he’s overwhelmed by things. 

 

Even when they had all been young, if things got too loud  for Five’s taste, he would jump away and it could take hours to find him if he didn’t want to be found.

 

She still feels the tell tale signs of anxiety begin to creep up on her when she checks the library for the fourth time and doesn’t find him. 

 

* * *

 

Five hadn’t meant to fall back asleep, really he doesn’t even remember falling asleep. When he wakes up again there's someone else in the store, dutifully ignoring his presence until he groans. 

 

“What the fuck” he mumbles and the girl laughs. Well, woman. She was at least in her mid 20’s. 

 

Five isn’t really sure what to say. Someone normal would be much more concerned by his presence. She might work for the commission. 

 

“Did you kidnap me?” ok, not exactly what he wanted to say but it got the message across. For a moment, the girl looked terrified. She probably didn’t work for the commission.

 

“I don’t think so” she says awkwardly, Five scoffs “you were here when i came in this morning, did you break in?” 

 

The girl doesn’t talk to him like he’s a child, she doesn’t even look at him like he’s one. She looks at him confused and unsure and maybe a little afraid, but not like he was a child. Five liked that. 

 

“Yes” he says, watching her drop her head in her hands with amusement.

 

She looks up and Five can see the gears in her head screeching to a halt everytime she looks like she’s about to speak. 

 

“My names Eddie” she says finally, watching him casually scan the bookshelves. It’s hard to describe the look of utter bafflement on her face.

 

“My name is Five” he tells her and she doesn’t comment on its oddness

 

“I’m not sure what the protocol is when small children break and enter” she admits, even when actually referring to him as a child she doesn’t address as if he is one. He thinks she doesn’t know how to but that’s fine by him. He laughs a little. 

 

“Do you want me to call someone to take you home?” she asks. 

 

Five tells her no and she doesn’t insist. Five decides that Eddie is currently one of his favourite people.

 

When he asks about her clock she tells him the time.

 

“It’s about 5:30 in the morning” she says and _ fuck. _

 

The others would start to wake up soon if they hadn’t already. He needed to get home.

 

Eddie looks down at the till and Five jumps. 

 

It takes 3 jumps to get back to the academy.

 

One takes him just outside the store, where Five is made aware that it’s snowing by the sudden burning on his bare feet when he lands on the snow covered sidewalk.

 

The second takes him just outside the gates, where the wind had picked up, blowing snow onto Five’s pajamas and into his hair. 

 

The third gets him inside, in the kitchen to be precise. Just as Vanya walks in.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway, please validate me in the comments because it's my life source and I hope you're all having a great day


	17. bubbles, breakfast and stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Warm bath, then warm clothes” Vanya says “we’ll we back down for breakfast”
> 
> “D-don’t need a bath” Five mumbles, burying his head against Vanya’s neck
> 
> ___
> 
> Five, Vanya and bubbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was ironically enough supposed to be longer but then I ended up going out for dinner and didn't get the chance to write the scene I wanted to.

Five’s teeth are still chattering. He can feel his face start to tingle as it regains feeling now that he’s not out in the cold.

 

“Five? Where have you been?” Vanya asks, by his side suddenly and brushing the snow from his hair “did you go outside?”

 

“W-went t-t-to a books-st-store” Five mumbles around his clattering teeth feeling a lot like Diego, Vanya rubs his arms in an attempt to warm him up. The snow was making his pajamas damp “didn’t m-mean to”

 

“Come on, you’re freezing”  she says, lifting him up easily and holding him close to her.  “you can fill me in once you’re warmed up”

 

“Wh-where are we g-going?” Five asks

 

“Warm bath, then warm clothes” Vanya says “we’ll we back down for breakfast”

 

“D-don’t need a bath” Five mumbles, burying his head against Vanya’s neck. She was warm and he still couldn’t feel his toes.

 

“It’ll warm you up Five, i promise” Vanya says and Five doesn’t argue further because even if he didn’t want a bath, he wanted to be warm.

 

He hadn’t been outside for very long but it had been long enough to make his fingers and face go a little numb. Vanya opens the door to the bathroom, sitting Five on the sink and turning on the fawcett.

 

Five watches the water sputter out and the steam begin to rise as Vanya pulls a towel from the cabinet, along with a washcloth and shampoo bottles, sitting them on the sink beside him.

 

She takes Frankie from his hand gently, putting him on the toilet seat

 

“Just so he doesn’t get wet” she says quietly, when it looks like Five is about to ask for him back “arms up”

 

Five complies, letting Vanya pull his pajamas off and set him in the bathtub gently

 

“You want bubbles?” she asks, shaking the blue bottle at him. Five nods. Or at least Vanya thinks he nods, his head jerks a little, so she takes it as a nod and squeezes some of the mixture into the still filling up bathtub.

 

At least Five had stopped shivering now that he was in the water.

 

“Where’d you go?” she asks, pulling the hoodie she was wearing off and pouring some of the shampoo onto her hand.

 

“A bookstore, a block over” Five mumbles, Vanya’s hands massaging the shampoo into his hair gently.

 

“How come?” she asks. Five shrugs, it didn’t matter now.

 

“Doesn’t matter” he says quietly and Vanya shakes her head, tilting Five’s face back slightly as she washes the shampoo out of his hair

 

“Yes it does” she says gently “your smart Five, you wouldn’t just leave unless something upset you”

 

Five shrugs again. Something had upset him, at this point he’s not sure if it was the dream or Carmichael at the pizzeria.

 

“Did you have another nightmare?” she asks, dipping the washcloth in the water and handing it to Five, letting him clean himself up.

 

It hadn’t been a nightmare. Not really.

 

“It was just a dream” he says, as Vanya pours some conditioner and her hand and shuts off the fawcett, satisfied with the amount of water in the bathtub.

 

“Sometimes dreams suck” Vanya says and Five snorts

 

“It wasn’t a nightmare” he says, turning to face her “it was just weird”

 

“Want to tell me about it?” she says

 

“I was at the pizzeria but it was empty” Five says, attention now on the bubbles that had risen around him “the handler was there and a guy with a fishbowl for a head”

 

He didn’t need to tell them about Carmichael. He could deal with it on his own.

 

“Was there a fish in it?” Vanya asks, tilting Five’s head back again. Five nods to the best of his ability as she rinses his hair again

 

“A goldfish” he says “Frankie was on the table but he’d been ripped”

 

Vanya glances to Frankie on the toilet seat, intact and watching them with his plastic eyes.

 

“The Handler kept saying i’d done it and that i was bad” Five says, his brow furrowing at the sudden tightness in his throat. Vanya hums, prompting him to continue

 

“She kept saying that you left. She said you left because i was bad, so you didn’t want me anymore” Five voice breaks a little and his eyes sting as a tear drips down his cheek.

 

“Oh Five” Vanya says, gently guiding his face so that he was looking at her

 

“I love you Five, so much” she says, sincerely, wiping Five’s cheek “even when you’re being a goblin, i promise i will always want you, ok?”  

 

“Ok” Five nods, his voice was too small and his throat was still tight but his tears weren’t the bad kind anymore.

 

“Ok” Vanya kisses his cheek quickly, standing “i’m going to go get you some warm clothes, stay put”

 

Five isn’t sure where exactly he’d go but he nods anyway, satisfying Vanya as she turns on her heel and leaves the bathroom.

 

The water was warm and Five thought poking to bubbles was fun, watching them float across the water and mold themselves to his hand when he scooped them up, watching them fly and fall when he blew.

 

He sunk low enough for the water to cover his head, before coming back up and laughing at the disarray the bubbles were in because of his movements.

 

Vanya came back in and laughs

 

“You have bubbles in your hair” she says, setting the clothes in her hand aside and scooping water over his head with her hands “are you ready to get out? Breakfast should be soon”

 

Five nods and Vanya lifts him out of the bath, passing him a towel to cover himself while she uses another one to dry his hair.

 

Five pulls on his jeans and Vanya buttons the shirt for him, which he silently thanks her for. He didn’t feel like having the daily battle of buttons and shoelaces today.

 

Vanya hands him a jumper, helping him pull it over his head. She lifts him onto the toilet seat and hands him socks, that he pulls on while she puts her hoodie back on and wipes up the water that had fallen onto the floor from the bath.

 

Five lifts his arms up in a silent demand to be held. For some reason, asking still seemed so much more childish to him than just demanding.

 

She lifts him up and he drops his head on her shoulder. His dream was fading and the twisting feeling had dulled to a barely there twinge.

 

Five decided that he liked this just fine, tucked into Vanya’s arms with Frankie in hand. He felt safe and warm and comforted.

 

Carmichael's taunt was the last thing on his mind.

 

Actually, the only thing on his mind was a thought he hadn’t had at all in a very long time.

 

Maybe, maybe everything was going to be ok.

 

* * *

 

Vanya and Five came into breakfast late, the others had already gathered around the table and began eating.

 

“Oh, you found him” Luther hums, smiling at Vanya as she nods and brushes some of Five’s hair back

 

“Yeah i found him” she says, putting Five down on his seat. He stops himself from whining at the loss of contact. Horse purrs from where he’s perched on the armchair, stretching and trotting over to them, brushing against Vanya’s legs.

 

Allison, Diego and Luther all seem confused by his presence but don’t say anything, which Five thinks is a testament to the kind of weird things that happen in their day to day lives if the sudden appearance of a cat doesn’t raise any questions.

 

Mom puts pancakes with blueberry smiles on them and a cup of hot chocolate in front of Five with a warm smile and hand on his shoulder

 

“I heard you had an adventure this morning” she says and Five nods, sipping the hot chocolate

 

“I broke into a bookstore and freaked out the owner” he says, the others were all looking at him. Five took that as they wanted to listen to him tell the story, which had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to tell it.

 

“You broke into a bookstore?” Allison asks, at the same time Diego takes a long sip of his coffee

 

“Yeah, i was reading but i fell asleep on the chair and when i woke up the owner was there, her name was Eddie she had blonde hair that kind of looked like Vanya’s when she doesn’t brush it and super thin glasses, she didn’t really know what to do with me so she just let him walk around until i wanted to leave again she was cool”

 

Five rambles, not once stopping to breath. The others were all listening to him intently.

 

“Wait, what bookstore?” Klaus asks “Ben wants to know”

 

“Schulers Books, the block over. It’s painted green” Five says, preening at the attention he was being given subconsciously and sipping his hot chocolate. Klaus nods, shoving another waffle into his mouth.

 

“I’ve got rehearsal in an hour” Vanya mumbles, eyeing the clock on the wall and absently scratching Horses ears. She takes a drink of her coffee “i should get ready”

 

“What time will you be home?” Allison asks, eyeing Five cautiously. He looked put out but not near tears.

 

“An hour after lunch? One, maybe two o’clock” Vanya says, turning to Five “will you be ok?”

 

Five nods a little, at the same time Klaus says

 

“Of course he’ll be fine, he can hang out with me and Allison today” he grins, winking at Five “we’re gonna get our nails done, it’ll be great”

 

“If he wants to come” Allison interjects “if not he’ll be fine with Diego and Luther”

 

Klaus sends Five some exaggerated puppy eyes, shaking his hands in a pleading gesture and well, spending time with Klaus and Allison and probably Ben as well, didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world.

 

So Five nods his head, feigning disinterest as he does so

 

“I’ll go with you, it’s not like i have much else to do” that was a lie, he needed to work on his equations to fix himself.

 

Spending time with his family seemed much more important than the mathematical equations written on his wall anyway.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for the influx of comments!! I love writing this fic but the whole reason it gets done so fast is the motivation all the comments give me knowing that people are liking what I'm doing (also the fact that I edit nothing)


	18. washing the dishes as a family bonding exercise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been a thing for a few weeks now, Luther would steer mom away from the sink after meal times so that he could do the dishes. Five didn’t really understand why.
> 
> ___
> 
> Five and Luther wash the dishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was attempt 2 at writing the scene I wanted. I managed to fail again but at least I'll get to it next chapter

Vanya drinks her coffee slowly, letting Five pretend he’s being subtle when he latches onto her hand under the table as she continues to carry out a regular conversation with Luther about the old lady who keeps giving him pears on his morning runs, while Diego tries to stab Klaus in the eye with his fork for putting salt in his coffee.

 

Allison is drinking tea, because she’s trying to cut her caffeine intake for reasons Vanya can’t quite remember or understand. Five had finished his hot chocolate and was now attempting to eat his pancakes one-handed. 

 

Horse had curled up on her feet, purring and looking up every now and then in order to try and demand some food from her plate that Vanya refused to give him. 

 

“Why does she keep giving you pears?” Vanya asks, and Luther shrugs 

 

“I have no idea but i keep taking them because she won’t let me not” he says, gesturing to the ever growing amount of pears in the fruit bowl. 

 

Vanya is pretty sure things like that don’t generally happen but she has her fair share of odd neighbours and experiences with them, so it’s not like she can judge Luther or his pear lady, so she nods finishing her coffee. 

 

Klaus falls off his chair trying to avoid Diego and Allison finishes her tea, taking the cup to the sink, which signals the official end of family time breakfast. 

 

Klaus scrambles off the floor and bolts, cackling when Diego throws the fork into the wall near his head. Five pretends he isn’t laughing at them by putting more pancake in his mouth. 

 

Luther rolls his eyes, standing up and taking Vanya’s plate for her. Diego gets up too, dislodging the fork and kissing mom on the cheek quickly as he leaves the room. 

 

Five ate slower than the rest of them even when he had both hands, so it didn’t surprise Vanya that he was only about half way through his breakfast.

 

“I’ve got to go get ready now, try and finish your breakfast” Vanya says gently, detaching her hand from his and kissing the side of his head. 

 

Five nods frowning a little as she leaves. 

 

Mom smiles at Five as Luther gently bullies her away from the sink so that he can do the dishes. Mom leaves the kitchen to find something else to do. 

 

Five glances at Luther, who scrubbed at the plates distractedly. 

 

“Why do you do the dishes?” he asks. It had been a thing for a few weeks now, Luther would steer mom away from the sink after meal times so that he could do the dishes. Five didn’t really understand why. 

 

Luther turns to him and shrugs

 

“I don’t know, i like being helpful and mom does plenty for us already” he says, picking up another plate and beginning to scrub “doing the dishes is the least i can do”

 

“Mom’s programmed to do those kinds of things though” Five says. Luther nods his head at Five

 

“Yeah, but mom likes to do other things as well” he tells him “she likes to paint with Klaus and read in the library. Helping her with the dishes means she has a little more time to do that” 

 

Five supposes that makes sense. Mom spent a long time not doing anything for herself, she deserved to be able to paint and read and do whatever she wanted to. 

 

“Can i help?” Five asks 

 

“You haven’t finished your breakfast yet” Luther says “you can once you do”

 

Five decides the best course of action is proceed to shove the remainder of his pancake in his mouth and down the small cup of water mom was making him drink in one go. Luther laughs at him. 

 

“That wasn’t what i meant but alright” he says, more to himself than Five “pull a chair up and bring your plate. You can dry them” 

 

“What if i want to wash them?” Five says, just to be annoying as he pulls his chair up beside Luther and hands him his plate.

 

“Too bad, i’m already doing that” Luther says, handing Five a dish towel once he’s climbed onto the chair. 

 

Five picks up one of the wet dishes Luther had set to the side, setting about drying it with an intense concentration, not noticing Luther sneaking glances at him out the corner of his eyes as they clean the dishes in companionable silence.

 

* * *

 

Vanya half expects Five to be sulking over his breakfast when she comes back downstairs but is proven pleasantly wrong when she walks back into the kitchen and finds him washing the dishes with Luther.

 

“How come you don’t just get a job?” Five asks Luther as he dries a plate, not noticing Vanya come in and pour herself another cup of coffee. Diego kept saying she was a caffeine addict. 

 

“I haven’t really thought about it” Luther says, handing Five a new plate to dry. Vanya decides to pitch in as well, making her presence known by taking the dry plate off Five and putting it back in the cupboard

 

“What are you talking about?” she asks, Five is smiling at her so she pokes his dimple

 

“Luther said he likes having something to do so i suggested he get a job” Vanya snorts and Luther flicks water at her with mock irritation in his eyes 

 

“What? You think i can’t get a job?” he asks, his smile negating his offended tone

 

“What would you even do?” Vanya asks. She pictures Luther in a tie sitting in a cubicle and really she can’t help it if she laughs. Luther shrugs at her 

 

“No idea, i’m sure i’d find something” he says “it’s a good suggestion” 

 

Five preens at the offhanded praise and they both pretend they don’t see it for his benefit. Horse wanders back into the kitchen, jumping onto the armchair he’d claimed as his own since his arrival. 

 

“Seriously who’s cat is that?” Luther asks, finally confused enough to question it

 

“Vanya’s” Five says, handing her another plate “his names Horse”

 

Horse looks over at them at the mention of his name, he looks at Luther with irritation, then Vanya with an equal contempt but he purrs at Five. what a little traitor. 

 

“Hey, i’m the one who feeds you brat” she tells him, Horse just flicks his ears at her and goes back to sleeping. Five gives him a toothy grin and hands Vanya a spoon

 

“I didn’t know you had a cat” Luther says, still eyeing Horse wearily

 

“Technically he’s a stray and i share him with Mr Jovevski” Vanya says, then pauses for a second 

 

“oh, yeah. This for you” She says, pulling a small chocolate out of her pocket and giving it to Five “it’s from Mr Jovevski”

 

Five wrinkles his nose

 

“I’m not eating serial killer chocolate” he says, handing it to Luther

 

“Five, Mr Jovevski is a dentist, not a serial killer”

 

“Serial killers can have day jobs” Five says simply and Vanya rolls her eyes, putting away the last dish just as Allison comes into the kitchen 

 

“Me and Klaus are gonna get going soon if Five still wants to come with us” she says looking between the three of them, Vanya nods as Five climbs off the chair

 

“Yeah, i should get going now too” she says, glancing up at the clock. 

 

* * *

 

Five trails a little way behind Vanya and Allison as they wander around the mansion collecting their things, listening idly to the conversation as he twists Frankie’s ribbon around his fingers. 

 

He wasn’t nervous, he just hadn’t left the house without Vanya yet. He was worried about her. Not himself. 

 

“We can pick you up on our way home if you want” Allison says, leaning against the door was Vanya digs her gloves out of her suitcase 

 

“Will you still be in town?” Vanya asks, glancing at Five for a second. Allison makes a noise that’s supposed to indicate that yes, they will 

 

“Five, where’d you put the beanie Klaus made?” Vanya asks him

 

“Why?”

 

“You need to wear it today, it’s still snowing a little” she tells him. Five actually isn’t sure where it is, last he’d seen it it had been on Frankie.

 

“I don’t know where it is” he tells her and she nods, Allison breaks off to go get her keys and coat from her own room

 

“Ok, it’s probably in your room” Vanya says, taking his hand as they walk to his room. Sure enough it was at the end of his bed, partially covered by his blanket. 

 

Vanya pulls it over his head, covering his eyes for a second and laughing when he tries to swat her hands away. She lets him fix it and flicks the pom-pom, picking his coat up and helping him do the buttons up rather than letting him just slide it over his head. 

 

“There, all ready” she says, smiling as she puts her gloves on. Five wants to smile but he can’t find it within himself, anxiety beginning to creep up on him 

 

“Hey, you ok?” Vanya asks, Five twists his lip, looking between Vanya and Frankie. 

 

If Vanya had Frankie with her, then she’d have someone for backup. Five would have Klaus and Allison and Vanya would have Frankie. 

 

“You gotta take Frankie with you” Five says, pushing Frankie into Vanya’s hands 

 

“I do? Why?” 

 

“That way, if something bad happens you're not alone” he tells her and she nods, tucking Frankie under her arm 

 

“Ok, i’ll keep Frankie with me at rehearsal” she says, as they walk down the stairs to the foyer. 

 

* * *

 

Allison is arguing with Klaus about appropriate winter wear when Vanya and Five come down the stairs 

 

“Klaus, you can’t wear a crop top, it’s snowing” Allison says, for what Five thinks is maybe the hundredth time

 

“I have a coat on Alli, it’s all good” Klaus says “shut up Ben don’t take her side” 

 

Klaus turns to Five, eyes lighting up 

 

“Oh hey, you’re wearing the hat!” he says absolutely delighted. Five pulls it off and holds it out to Vanya 

 

“If Klaus doesn’t even have to wear a full shirt, i don’t need to wear a beanie” he tells Vanya, who seems to recognise the scheming shine in his eyes and simply nods instead of telling him he has to wear it. 

 

“Hey wait, that’s not fair” Klaus says, looking between Allison, Vanya and the empty space that held Ben 

 

“You gotta lead by example Klaus” Allison says with a shrug “if you don’t wear appropriate winter clothes, why would Five?”

 

“Oh, fine! I’ll go put on an actual shirt but Five’s gotta wear the hat” 

 

Vanya shrugs, turning to Five and handing him the beanie “you heard him” she says, as Five pulls it back over his head. Once Klaus is out of view and out of ear shot he grins

 

“Gremlin” Vanya tells him as Allison laughs lightly 

 

“That was clever” she says, grinning down at Five. Vanya kneels down and adjust the hat 

 

“I’ve got to go now or i’ll be late” she says, kissing his cheek “i love you, don’t get anyone kicked out of the nail salon and don’t kill anyone that doesn’t deserve it” 

 

“Bye” Five says quietly, leaning forward for Vanya to hug him. She does, kissing his cheek again as Klaus comes back in the room, now wearing a shirt that covers his stomach properly

 

“Hey! Where’s mine, Five can’t get all of the siblings love and affection” Klaus complains and Vanya rolls her eyes, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss Klaus on the cheek as well

 

“I love you too Klaus, don’t get murdered by Five” she says and Klaus grins

 

“Five won’t murder me”

 

“Vanya only told me not to murder people who don’t deserve it” Five says, standing by Allison as Vanya hurries out the door so she won’t be late.

 

Klaus makes an offended noise and Allison rolls her eyes at them. 

 

“Ok, time to go” she says, opening the door and ushering them out.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are my life source and I'm thirsty for validation


	19. pearls and playgrounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus was singing, loudly and badly, along to the radio. So was Allison, which Five deemed as worse because she was supposed to be the sensible one.
> 
> ___
> 
> Five, Klaus and Allison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update starting tomorrow because school comes back but I'm going to try and keep it consistent with how I've been going

Klaus was singing, loudly and badly, along to the radio. So was Allison, which Five deemed as worse because she was supposed to be the sensible one.

 

I want it that way, by the backstreet boys, loud enough that the people in the car beside them were giving them weird looks.

 

Five hadn’t liked the song when they had all been 10 and Allison and Klaus would sing it at their top of their lungs and he didn’t like it now.

 

He did like the laughter though, the way Allison's eyes crinkled and Klaus was smiling. He liked the reminder that not everything about their childhoods had been traumatic and nightmare inducing. Some of it had been like this, moments of normality and happiness wedged between all the bad.

 

So he put up with the bad singing, settling to roll his eyes at them rather than tell them to shut up and watching the other cars as they drove.

 

* * *

 

Five recognises the street they’re on.

 

It’s only about a 10 minute drive from the academy and affectionately referred to as the market street broadwalk. It’s the home of dozens of small businesses and pop up stands with weird niches, located right near the focal point of domestic suburban life.

 

Five had scavenged a lot of his supplies from here in the early days of the apocalypse.

 

Allison turns into a parking spot and Five begins to unbuckle the clasp of the carseat

 

“Hey, not until the cars completely stopped” Allison scolds, pulling the keys out of the ignition. Five sticks his tongue out at her, unclipping the belt and sliding off the seat.

 

Allison rolls her eyes fondly, stepping out of the car and opening the door for Five.

 

“Why don’t you just take the child lock off?” Five grumbles, jumping onto the pavement. It was a little ridiculous how far off the ground the car seemed to be.

 

Klaus stumbles out of the car, bouncing on his heels as he walks around to meet with them

 

“Because if i do that, chances are you’ll push someone out of the car while it’s moving” Allison says, offering her hand silently for Five to take.

 

“I would not” Five defends and Allison nods. they both know he would. He takes her hand, letting her swing them slightly in the space between them as they walk down the broadwalk towards the salon.

 

Klaus looks like he’s about to start vibrating with excitement the closer they got to the door

 

“I’ve never gotten my nails done professionally before you know” Klaus says, spinning on his heel to face them as he walks backwards “I always just did it myself with the polish i stole from convenience stores”

 

He was grinning brightly, Allison smiling right back at him.

 

She stops, her hand tugging Five to her side so that he stops as well. The door is painted green with frosted glass panes and gold lettering

 

‘Pearls Nail Salon’

 

Klaus really was vibrating now as Allison pushed the door open and the little bell chimed, signaling their arrival.

 

Five took a deep breath, following Allison inside.

 

* * *

 

Vanya took a cab to rehearsal, Frankie sat in her lap.

 

He was backup, according to Five, in case something happened. Vanya could appreciate Five trying to protect to the best of his current abilities even if she didn’t understand how to stuffed bear would help her.

 

She’d promised Five that she would take Frankie with her, so that’s what she did.

 

For once, she arrived early. The other members of the orchestra were mingling on the stage, setting up as they waited for the instructor.

 

Usually, Vanya would keep to herself. Find her own quiet corner to hide in and set up. That wasn’t happening apparently, when one of the flute players made his way over to her with a greasy looking smile that had Vanya internally cringing.

 

“Hey” he greets, with a faux gravelly voice. Vanya avoided eye contact and went about taking her violin out of her case and setting Frankie to the side “i’m Peter”

 

He extends his hand.

 

“Vanya” she says shortly. Peter reaches out to pick up Frankie

 

“Cute bear, did your _daddy_ get it for you?” he asks, an eyebrow raised and smirk on his lips. Vanya was going to gag.

 

“Actually, it’s my son's bear. So if you could put it down, that would be wonderful” Vanya says, she’s idly aware of the sudden pick up of the wind.

 

“Your son huh? I don’t see a ring” Peter says, grabbing Vanya’s hand.

 

Vanya could and would happily be able to break his hand right now. She’s stopped by someone throwing a paper ball at the back of Peters head

 

“Stop being a creep Madson!” one of the cello players Vanya’s had maybe one conversation with says, making her way over to them. She stands beside Vanya with her arms crossed and glares at Peter

 

“Leave her alone Peter” she says. Vanya thinks her name is June.

 

“I was just asking her why i don’t see a ring, June” Peter says, flashing an irritated smile. Vanya rolls her eyes at him

 

“You don’t see a ring because i’m not married. All your questions have been answered and you can leave now” Vanya says, pushing past him to find a new corner. June follows her.

 

“I’m sorry you had to deal with him” she says, sitting across from Vanya with a smile “he’s a grade A asshole”

 

“I noticed” Vanya mumbles, watching Peter strike up a conversation with a girl who looked just as uncomfortable as Vanya felt “al part of his charm, i’m sure”

 

June snorts a little, covering her mouth to muffle the laughter

 

“Oh yeah” she says with a grin. Her eyes land on Frankie and linger for a second but she doesn’t say anything

 

“So, how come you never really talk to anyone?” June asks, then seems to realise what she’d just said “i’m sorry that sounded rude, i just, i’ve never seen you have an actual conversation with anyone here before”

 

Vanya shrugs

 

“I’m not sure, i guess i just stick to myself” she says and June nods

 

“That’s too bad. You seem pretty cool” she says, leaning back on the chair “so, you have a son?”

 

“Oh yeah, i do” Vanya says. June nods her head

 

“What’s his name?”

 

“Five” Vanya answers, automatically. June laughs, then stops, looking at Vanya with disbelief

 

“Wait, really?”

 

It hadn’t occurred to Vanya that Five was a weird name until this moment.

 

“Well, that’s what he likes to be called” she says awkwardly with a shrug. June nods her head

 

“It’s weird but i’ve heard weirder” she says sincerely and Vanya breathes a sigh of relief.

 

Thank god for modern day naming trends.

 

* * *

 

The nail salon smelt weird, like a mixture of paint fumes and cinnamon. It was giving Five a headache.

 

He’d let go of Allison's hand, so she and Klaus could browse the colours together while he stuck close to their legs.

 

Klaus holds a colour out for Five to look at

 

“Look peach, you can paint your nails peach” he says with a grin. Five rolls his eyes

 

“I want blue” he says.

 

Five hadn’t actually considered the fact that he’d probably be getting his nails painted as well but blue was his favourite colour, so he might as well get them painted blue.

 

Allison hands him two different shades of dark blue

 

“do you like these ones?” she asks. Five nods, selecting the lighter one and turning the bottle around in his hand a couple of times

 

“I like that one” he says. The two teenage girls that were getting their nails done cooed and Five glared at them.

 

They giggled as they turned away and Five glowered.

  


Allison picks a pale pink and Klaus picks a purple dark enough to be mistaken for black. The nail artists talk to each other while they work and Allison and Klaus talk about movies and make-up.

 

Five can’t say he’s overly interested.

 

He keeps his focus on the window that lets them see across the street. The distorted image of a playground, with little kids running around and playing on the equipment with their parents.

 

Five didn’t really know why it fascinated him as much as it did. His mind wandering from the conversation his siblings were having to the kids on the playground and the games they were playing.

 

His nail artist is an older woman, who skipped over shaping and filing at Five’s request and just painted the nails. Her hair was greying and she talked to Five while she worked, what about Five wasn’t sure but he nodded along when it seemed appropriate.

 

She didn’t touch him more than necessary, after she watched him flinch away from the other two women. She held his fingertips and painted his nails but her hands never passed his wrist.

 

“Want to play?” she asks him, gesturing out the window apparently noticing his lack of attention. Five is caught off guard and finds himself nodding at her. She smiles at him

 

“Once you’re done, they might take you” she whispers cheekily and winks at Five.

 

Five hides his grin.

 

* * *

 

Five makes it easy to forget that he hasn’t seen so much of what the world has to offer.

 

The way he carries himself, talks about the things he’s seen and people he’s met, it just slips your mind that he’s missed out on so many simple pleasures, like going to the beach or playing at the playground.

 

Five never had those small moments of catch up like the rest of them, he didn’t escape to live his life like they all had and it was easy to forget tha.

 

Until something like this happens and Allison watches Five stare across the street at the playground with a depressing look of fascination and wonder.

 

He’d probably never even been on a swing set before in his life.

 

Klaus was watching him as well, sharing Allison’s look of silent sympathy. Five had never gotten to be a kid, he’d never even gotten to play catch up.

 

Allison had gone to a playground on her first date with Patrick, he’d pushed her on the swings and they’d laughed. The first thing she’d done after leaving the academy was make herself sick from eating so much ice cream and chocolate that she had needed to call in sick to work.

 

Klaus had binge-watched every single disney movie he could get his hands on with Ben, he sat in the back of a bookstore and read fairy tales. He’d gone to the yearly carnival, he won himself as many prizes as possible and ate enough cotton candy and churros to throw up.

 

Five went to the apocalypse and his life had revolved around that since.

 

It was sad, that their brother had never gotten to have the childhood every single one of them had wished for.

  


Five’s head hurt. He thinks it’s because of the nail polish but his nose feels stuffed up too and he doesn’t have an explanation for that one.

 

Allison pays for their nails and Klaus carries Five. normally, Five would protest. He’d squirm or jump away but he didn’t really feel like it right now.

 

So he let Klaus carry him as he day dreamed, watching the grey clouds overhead and trying to catch the light snow with his tongue as it fell.

 

Then they walked past the car and Five was paying attention again

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“We have some time to kill before we go pick up Vanya” Allison says, holding Klaus’ hand to pull him across the street towards the park. Why were they going to the park?

 

Klaus makes a beeline for the swingset, putting Five in the toddler swing and smiling at the little girl with long braids beside them.

 

“Klaus!” Five says, squirming and kicking at Klaus to get his hands away from the clasps

 

“Nope, no whining. This is a fun activity, we’re having fun” Klaus says with a grin, pushing Five softly in the swing as he scowls. Allison is laughing

 

“You look so grumpy” she says with a grin, her phone is out

 

“Allison if you take a picture i’m going to gouge your eyes out with a spoon” Five says indignantly as Klaus moves behind the swing to push him better

 

“Relax grandpa, i’m only sending it to Vanya” Allison says. The little girl runs over to her parents as they leave. The park is empty except for Allison, Klaus and Five.

 

“It’s family bonding” Klaus says, poking Five’s neck a little. Five’s teeth clamp down on his tongue to stop the giggle it elicits from escaping. Klaus seems to notice though and he pokes Five’s neck again when the swing comes back towards him.

 

This time can’t stop the giggling and Klaus laughs along with him

 

“You’re ticklish?” he says, sounding overjoyed

 

“No i’m not” Five defends and Klaus pokes his neck again. Five giggles and Klaus pokes a different spot, his fingers brushing lightly over the small bits of Five’s exposed skin

 

“Then why are you laughing?” Klaus asks over Five’s giggling, his grin is almost ear splitting and Five can hear Allison laughing as well.

 

“I’m not ticklish” Five insists through his laughter, Klaus lifts him out of the swing, fingers poking at his sides and neck

 

“I don’t believe you” Klaus laughs, tipping Five upside down and jabbing at his stomach when his shirt flips over. Five squirms, his face going red from the blood rushing to his head as well as the shrieking laughter.

 

He can see Allison, either taking a photo or a video of it. Five is more preoccupied trying to squirm out of Klaus’ hold than threatening her to stop.

 

Klaus flips Five around again, so he was the right side up and sets him on his feet. He keeps Five’s hands in his own as Five steadies himself.

 

Then Five kicks him in the shin.

 

Klaus laughs, letting Five’s arms go so he can stand on his own, glancing around the park

 

“Hey, I dare you to lick the swing set” he says

 

“Five, do not lick the swing set” Allison interjects, sliding her phone into her pocket and sitting on the swing. Klaus grins, going up behind her and beginning to push her.

 

Allison laughs, kicking her legs up letting Klaus push the swing steadily, higher and higher until she started pumping her legs on her own. Klaus whistles, coming to stand behind Five and watch her swing back and forth.

 

Despite being out of the nail shop and in fresh air, his head still hurt. His nose had started to run and his throat itched.

 

He was having fun. He didn’t want to ruin it.

 

Allison jumps off the swing, not bothering to slow it down.

 

“Come on, we should get going if we want to pick up Vanya” she says, holding her hand out for Five to take.

 

He doesn’t want to walk.

 

Silently, he lifts his arms up, demanding to be held.

 

Allison obliges, lifting him onto her hip. Five wiped his nose on his sleeve and rested his head on her shoulder.

 

They don’t even make it to the car before Five’s eyes have closed.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to you by this anonymous suggestion


	20. pressure build

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Five? You awake peach?” Klaus stage whispers, Five whines quietly, shifting in the seat. His eyes stay closed “I’m taking that as a no”
> 
> __
> 
> Vanya, Five and the beginnings of a long, long night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm v proud that I actually managed to get this chapter out because motherfuckers I am exhausted. school is the single most life draining experience in the world my dudes. 
> 
> on a brighter note I started watching Nicky Ricky dicky and dawn,,, it's very dumb and Aidan is the cutest

Five falls asleep with his head on Allison’s shoulder. 

 

“Huh, didn’t take Five for much of a drooler” Klaus hums, opening the door for Allison. 

 

She adjust Five, careful not to disturb him as she clips him into the car seat. He doesn’t even stir.

 

“It’s a little early for him to be asleep though” Allison mumbles, her hand pressing against his forehead gently “he doesn’t have a fever” 

 

“What, you think he’s sick?” Klaus asks, sliding into the passenger seat

 

“He might just be tired” Allison says, switching on the car and jumping when the radio screeches to life. Allison shuts it off quickly and Klaus glances back at Five, who’s face has scrunched up but still had his eyes closed.

 

“Five? You awake peach?” Klaus stage whispers, Five whines quietly, shifting in the seat. His eyes stay closed “I’m taking that as a no”

 

Allison lets out a sigh, pulling out of their parking space 

 

“Let’s go get Vanya” she says, eyes trained on the road

 

* * *

 

Vanya doesn’t realise how little she actually knows about the people around her until she starts talking to June. 

 

Their conversation had been short, focused mostly on their individual interest it music and the occasional question about Five, and Vanya learned more about June than she had in the 4 or so years they had been working together. 

 

She wasn’t surprised, she knew that in order to get to know people you needed to speak with them, she just hadn’t realised how small her list of friends actually was. 

 

“I have a son” June says, walking beside Vanya “he’s only a year old and I don’t think Five would enjoy hanging out with a baby all that much but I go to this mothers group on weekends just as an excuse to get out of the house, you should come one day” 

 

“Five doesn’t really play well with others” Vanya laughs, opening the door for both June and herself. She can see Allison’s car, Allison waving a little from the front seat and miming that Five was asleep.

 

“Oh, he’ll be able to entertain himself I’m sure” June says, fishing her phone out of her coat pocket and handing it to Vanya “put your number in and I’ll text you the details, then you can decide” 

 

“I make no promises” Vanya says, punching in her number and handing the phone back. June grins

 

“I won’t keep my hopes up then” she says with a wink, turning to head towards her car and waving goodbye. 

 

Vanya shakes her head, watching June walk away with a spring in her step before heading towards the car. 

 

* * *

 

Klaus is already in the passenger seat, so Vanya climbs in the back with Five. His eyes are closed and his head was lolled to the side, his cheeks red and his nose screwed up. 

 

“How longs he been asleep for?” She asks

 

“Not long, maybe about 10 minutes” Allison answers, passing her phone back to Vanya before starting the car and pulling out of her parking spot “we went to the park after we got our nails done”

 

Vanya swipes through Allisons camera roll as urged, smiling at the pictures she took.

 

The first is a picture of Five getting his nails painted then another of him scowling at Klaus and in a toddler swing. Then it’s a video of Klaus tickling Five, who’s making half hearted attempts to push his hands away and telling him to stop through his own laughter. Then a picture of Five asleep in the car seat with his thumb in his mouth. 

 

“We should start a photo album” Klaus muses, twisting awkwardly so that he can see as well. Allison smacks him on the shoulder

 

“Klaus sit properly” she scolds, Klaus sticks his tongue out at her but obliges. 

 

“He let you take these?” Vanya asks and Allison laughs

 

“No, he threatened to gouge my eyes with a spoon if I took them” she says, Vanya passes the phone to Klaus, who starts tapping away at a game rather than just giving it back to Allison

 

“That makes more sense” Vanya says with a fond smile, Five shifts towards her voice, whining quietly in his sleep. 

 

Vanua runs her hand over his face gently, pausing at the heat coming from his skin. His eyebrow was creased in discomfort and his hands curled into loose fists. 

 

Vanya watches his face relax when her cool hands make contact with his forehead and sighs.

 

Hopefully mom had some children's cold medicine in the house.

 

* * *

 

Five wakes up to cool hands pressed against his forehead, Vanya whispering gently for him to wake up 

 

“Five? C’mon, it’s lunch time” she says gently, her hand resting on his cheek. Five blinks his eyes open, glaring up at with bleary eyes at the unfocused image of his sister. 

 

“No” he mumbles, shifting away from her and pressing his face into a pillow. He’d fallen asleep in the car hadn’t he? He didn’t care at the moment. 

 

“Yes” Vanya says, lifting him up off the couch despite his weak protests “you’ve got to eat and take some medicine”

 

Why would he need to take medicine? He wasn’t sick.

 

“I don’t need medicine” he mumbles, his eyes still half closed. He was tired, not hungry and not sick, he just wanted to go back to sleep. 

 

“Yeah you do” Vanya says gently. Five can’t think of a reply through the fuzzy feeling in his head, pressing against the sides of his skull. 

 

He doesn’t exactly fall back asleep on their way to the kitchen but he wasn’t awake or aware. He doesn’t open his eyes properly until Vanya sets him on his chair, a grilled cheese and apple slices on the plate in front of him. 

 

His stomach turned. He didn’t want to eat right now.

 

Vanya sits beside him, eating her lunch and talking quietly with mom. There was no one else in the kitchen.

 

Five tries to ignore it, the quiet chatter ringing in his ears and rattling his skull. He pushes his plate away, resting his head in his hands and his eyes drifting back closed.

 

Vanya pokes him lightly, pushing the plate back towards him 

 

“Please eat Five?” she asks, Five shakes his head. His stomach was turning violently at even the thought. 

 

He pushes the plate away again. He just wanted to go to sleep. 

 

“Just a few bites Five, you need to eat so you can take some medicine” Vanya says, running her hand through his hair gently, easing the growing pressure under his skull

 

But Five doesn’t want to eat and he doesn’t want to take medicine. Vanya holds one of the apple slices to Five’s face but he pushes her hand away stubbornly, burying his head in his arms once more. 

 

Vanya sighs, gently pulling Five off his chair and onto her lap.

 

Five’s heart stops, mind jumping back to the commission and The Handler and the last time he had refused to eat but Vanya doesn’t try to force his mouth open or threaten him, she doesn’t even pick up the food on his plate.

 

Instead, she wraps her arms around him, rocking him gently from side to side 

 

“How about we watch a movie yeah? You can eat on the longue and once you’re done you can go back to sleep” she says gently.

 

Five nods leaning back against Vanya, watching mom move around the kitchen with half lidded eyes. He wanted to go back to sleep.

 

Vanya lifts him up, keeping him in place with one hand and carrying his plate with the other. Five waves at mom silently on their way out, not feeling up to summoning the words to say goodbye. 

 

Mom smiles at him, waving back and returning to her baking. 

 

* * *

 

“Ok” Vanya mumbles to herself, eyes scanning Luther's DVD collection for something Five might enjoy.

 

Five was on the couch, half slumped over and sipping at his water slowly. He hadn’t touched his food yet but he looked pale every time he so much as glanced at it so Vanya wasn’t going to push it.

 

Luther had a surprisingly wide variety of movies tucked away, all organised by genre and alphabetized. 

 

Bambi had always been a favourite of Vanya’s, it had been one of the first disney movies she had ever seen. Maybe Five would like it. 

 

She takes the movie out, setting the TV up and sitting beside Five. he curls into her side instantly, his head rest on her lap and eyes on the screen as the movie begins. 

 

Vanya gently brushes her fingers through his hair, his shoulders untensing when she does. She watches his thumb replace the water and the grilled cheese and apple slices lay forgotten as his eyes drift closed once more. 

 

Maybe it was best to just let him sleep it off.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's only going to get worse, I can assure you.


	21. a spoon full of sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five’s head hurts.
> 
> He’s sure there are other things he could note, like the scratchiness in his throat and climbing heat radiating off his skin but the most notable is the thumping pound against his skull.
> 
> __
> 
> Five vs taking Medicine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a pain to format for no reason other than my computer spasming every 3 seconds

Five’s head hurts.

 

He’s sure there are other things he could note, like the scratchiness in his throat and climbing heat radiating off his skin but the most notable is the thumping pound against his skull.

 

His whole body is tingling, numb to whatever sensations he may be feeling.

 

He tries to blink his eyes open, to gain some awareness through the haze of sickness, the light makes it feel like someone took a machete down the center of his skull, hacking at it painfully as he squeezes his eyes shut again and whines.

 

It’s high-pitched, the sound grating against his ears painfully and he digs his palms into the side of his head to get the pounding to stop. His hands aren’t cold but in comparison to the burning heat of his forehead they feel like ice.

 

He couldn’t cry, crying would be a waste of fluid, it would be a waste of the energy that he desperately needed to conserve to defend himself, to keep himself alive.

 

He was crying anyway, hot tears slipping down hotter cheeks as he whined and clutched at his skull. It _hurt_.

 

“Five?” Vanya hands are running through his hair, gently prying his curled fingers apart “hey, it’s ok”

 

“Hurts” Five whines, his voice scratches and aches as he reaches blindly for Vanya. She pulls him onto her lap, wrapping her arms around his whole body and rocking him.

 

“Can you tell me what hurts?” She asks. Five lifts a shaky hand to point to his temple

 

“M’ head hurts” he mumbles, then points to his throat “m throat too”

 

He feels Vanya nod and her cool hands on his forehead

 

“You feel like you’ve got a fever” she says, shifting Five so she can stand “I’m going to take your temperature, alright?”

 

Five nods his head into her shoulder, keeping his eyes squeezed shut as she carries him through the house.

 

* * *

 

Allison is in the kitchen, having coffee with Diego when Vanya comes in, Five curled into her arms and face hidden in her neck.

 

“Is he ok?” Allison asks, watching Vanya use one hand to root around the cupboard in search of something, her other rubbing Five’s back soothingly.

 

“He’s sick” Vanya replies, finding what she’d been looking for and setting Five on the bench

 

“open” she instructs. Five complies, letting Vanya put the thermometer in his mouth.

 

His face was flushed, his cheeks were wet and his eyes were bloodshot. His nose was running as well but he hadn’t seemed to notice that.

 

Vanya takes the thermometer out, checking it with a furrowed brow

 

“101” she reads, turning to Allison “is that bad?”

 

“If it gets higher you should get mom to look at him but for now just make sure he has  some water and medicine” Allison says, Five glances at them as if only just now realising they’re there. He waves at them, Diego waves back.

 

“Ok, Klaus said he picked up some cold medicine before do you know where he put it?”

 

“Top shelf in the tall cabinet” Diego says, pointing to the cabinet.

 

“Don’t have a cold” Five mumbles watching Vanya try and fail to reach the medicine

 

“Yes you do” Vanya says, Diego deciding to put her out of her misery and reaching the medicine for her.

 

“Don’t” Five mumbles, reaching his arms out, apparently deciding he was over not being held. Vanya was busy reading the back of the bottle.

 

Five whines a little in a bid for her attention, kicking his feet against the bench.

 

“Hold on Five, I just need to see how much I should give you” Vanya says, taking Five’s hand gently but her eyes remain focused on the bottle.

 

Five tugs her towards him, pulling on her hand and sleeve to try and get her closer to him with his arms outstretched in demand to be held.

 

Diego isn’t sure if Five wants specifically Vanya to hold him or just to be held but his lips wobbles as Vanya ignores him and he kicks his legs harder.

 

Diego decides to run the risk of getting his throat ripped out and gently lifts Five onto his hip

 

“Just give her a minute buddy” he tells him gently “she’s getting you some medicine”

 

Five’s face scrunches up, his nose wrinkling and the glassy sheen in his eyes becoming all the more apparent

 

“Don’t need medicine” Five grumbles, his face pressed into Diego’s shirt, his arms clinging loosely around his neck

 

“It’ll make you feel better” Diego says, bouncing Five gently

 

“No it won’t” Five says, glaring at him with bloodshot eyes “it’ll make it worse”

 

His voice doesn’t get louder than a mumble and if the others speak louder than a whisper he winces. His head was hurting and he had a fever, if the scratching sound of his voice was anything to go by his throat was sore as well.

 

“Medicine makes you feel better, that’s it’s job” Diego explains “it helps your body get rid of all the germs”

 

“I know how medicine works” Five says, no heat behind his scowl

 

“Then you should know that you’ll feel better once you take it”

 

“No i won’t” Five says stubbornly, pouting up at Diego. Vanya holds the dispenser to Five’s face

 

“Open your mouth for me” she says. Five shakes his head, clamping his mouth shut and burying his face in Diego’s chest.

 

Diego glances at Vanya, who has a look of fond exasperation on her face. He sets Five back on the bench, Five whining quietly at the loss of contact and holding his arms out again.

 

“Medicine first, then cuddles” Vanya says, holding the dispenser out again

 

“I don’t want cuddles” Five lies, dropping his arms to his side quickly. Allison accidentally knocks over a tin and Five grips his head suddenly, tears forming in the corner of his eyes

 

Vanya puts a gentle hand on Five’s wrist

 

“The medicine will help baby, I promise” she says, her thumb rubbing a soothing circle on the top of his hand

 

“Don’t want it” Five mutters, eyes still squeezed shut and his palms pushing against his skull

 

“I know you don’t but it’ll make you feel better” Five shakes his head again, his eyes squinting open

 

“It’ll make it worse” he says, as if it’s an absolute fact

 

“Why do you think it’ll make it worse?” Vanya asks gently, Diego watches Allison leave the kitchen silently, returning with a box of tissues

 

“Medicine goes bad” Five mumbles, as if that was an explanation.

 

Well, it was. Medicine goes bad, chances are Five learnt first hand what happens when you take out of date medicine when he was in the apocalypse.

 

Vanya nods at him

 

“This Medicine is ok” she says, handing Five the bottle “Klaus bought it today”

 

Five’s eyes scan the use by date.  The gears in his head visibly turning as he sets the bottle aside and opens his mouth, letting Vanya give him the medicine.

 

She picks him up right after, cradling him gently. His head resting on her shoulder as Vanya sways.

 

“Can we watch another movie?” Five asks quietly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Finding Nemo, Five liked Finding Nemo the best out of all of the movies he had watched so far.

 

He was sitting on Vanya’s lap, his head resting against her chest. Diego was in the arm chair, fiddling with one of his knives.

 

Five had stared at him with wide eyes after asking Vanya very innocently if Diego could watch the movie with them until he had caved and agreed.

 

Vanya had whispered that he was a gremlin child but she was smiling when she said it.

 

Diego had picked Finding Nemo, something about Patch mentioning it one time that made Vanya grin and poke fun at him until he threatened to cut up her bed sheets.

 

Vanya ran her hands through his hair, just as taken by the movie as he was.

 

Five still felt terrible.

 

He was hot and his head was still pounding but the pressure was beginning to ease underneath Vanya’s fingers. The water that he had held loosely in his hand eased the scratchiness in his throat.

 

He watched the movie with rapt attention, his eyes trained on the cartoon fishes even as his eyes drifted closed.

 

* * *

  
Carmichael is a man of dedication and prestige, he had worked hard to be where he is now.

  
  
The position of The Handler was supposed to be life changing, he was supposed to finally get the respect he deserved. Instead his first case is playing babysitter for a 4 year old who totes around a broken teddy bear and cries when he’s left alone for too long.

  
  
Naturally he had complaints.

  
  
“I understand you’re frustrated Carmichael but this is a high priority case” Vera says sincerely “Five Hargreeves in instrumental to the future preservation of the timestream.

  
  
Vera had been working for the commission just as long as Carmichael had, they’d had their first day together. She had climbed the ranks much faster than he had, surpassing The Handler in terms of authority within 2 years.

  
  
“The preservation of the timestream has already been disrupted by this child twice, keeping him alive is unnecessary” Carmichael argues “and yet i have orders to observe and protect. Enlighten me on why that is”

  
  
“The timeline is under review. That means anyone who may possibly have an effect on future proceedings must remain stagnant for the time being” Vera tells him, clearly losing her patience “you have a job to do Carmichael. You observe Five, step in if it looks like the situation is going to spiral. You do not harm or kill him until i otherwise say so”

  
  
She stands, indicating the end of their impromptu meeting.

  
  
“This is a high priority case, Carmichael. Five’s life is the metaphorical fork in the road. He doesn’t die before the aternalis reaches a decision, do you understand?”

  
  
Carmichael lets out an aggravated sigh and Vera doesn’t wait for his confirmation, exiting his office with a roll of her eyes.


	22. breakfast for dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five didn’t dream often, when he did it was usually nightmares. This though, this was different.
> 
> The dream might have started relatively normal but it didn’t remain that way.
> 
> ___
> 
> Five experiences fever dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usually my dreams when I'm sick are like next level weird and I've already made Five suffer enough in his sleep. so, he gets this instead of another nightmare

Five didn’t dream often, when he did it was usually nightmares. This though, this was different. 

 

The dream might have started relatively normal but it didn’t remain that way. 

 

He had been at home, playing with lego bricks on the floor. Vanya had come in, dressed in a purple poodle skirt with pin up curls. Then it got weird. 

 

The living room was yellow, which Five hadn’t notice until now. Ben was a talking statue, which freaked Five out if he was being perfectly honest. 

 

There was a monkey with a tie and blonde wig on reading the newspaper that Five knew instinctively was Luther and Klaus had a balloon in a dress tied to his wrist that he insisted was his daughter. 

 

Diego was sitting on the umbrella shaped chandelier and Allison's hair was purple for no apparent reason. 

 

They were talking about pink eggs. 

 

Five was still playing with his lego bricks. He wasn’t sure what he was building but at this point it was roughly twice his size. 

 

“Pink eggs are the best kind of eggs” Five isn’t sure which of them say it, the general consensus had been that pink eggs were good eggs. 

 

“Not blue eggs” he thinks that’s Diego, who’s swinging his legs on the chandelier and making it sway back and forth

 

“Or green eggs” Klaus says, tugging the balloon down and making it nod

 

“Or orange eggs” monkey Luther lowers his newspaper, so Five thinks he’s the one to say it 

 

“Or purple eggs” Allison says, fluffing her hair out

 

“Or red eggs” Ben’s statue says, Five thinks his mouth moves funny and the rocks that fall out settle on top of his lego brick tower

 

“Pink eggs are the best eggs” Vanya says, sitting beside Five “don’t you think?”

 

“Pink eggs aren’t real” Five says, stacking another brick onto his creation. He’s not too sure how he reaches it.

 

“Of course pink eggs are real” Vanya says, running her hands through his hair gently. Her skirt is flared out around her “pink eggs are the best eggs” 

 

“Not blue eggs”

 

“Or green eggs”

 

“Or orange eggs”

 

“Or purple eggs”

 

“Or red eggs”

 

Five sticks another brick on top of his tower. This time Vanya lifts him to reach, kissing his cheek and leaving a red lipstick stain. 

 

“Pink eggs are the best eggs” he agrees.

 

* * *

 

Diego had convinced mom the sit down and watch another movie with them. 

 

Five had fallen asleep towards the end of Finding Nemo, curled against Vanya and sucking his thumb gently in his sleep. Vanya wondered if he knew he did that, probably not. 

 

Mom had picked the movie, it was one of Allison’s early works. Vanya thinks it might actually be her first. Luther and Klaus had joined them at some point, both perched on an armchair with their eyes glued to the screen. 

 

On screen Allison is 18, so tiny and awkward compared to real life Allison, who’s 29 and rolled her eyes when she came in and saw what they were watching. She sat down anyway, her head resting on Vanya’s shoulder as she mouthed along the lines as they were spoken.

 

Vanya assumed Ben was present as well. 

 

On screen Allison was driving an out of control golf cart and screaming as it heads towards a pond. The actors Vanya didn’t know the name on were in the back wearing sequined top hats and screaming equally as much.

 

Seriously what the hell was this movie even about?

 

“What’s happening?” Vanya mumbles. Allison shrugs 

 

“I don’t actually know” she says, as if she hadn’t starred in the movie. 

 

Five stirs, his face scrunching as his eyes flutter open. He makes a soft noise and shifts, pushing himself up to glance around the room with bleary eyes. 

 

“Morning” Vanya says gently, relaxing her hold as he shifts to sit beside her rather than on top of her “how’re you feeling?”

 

Five blinks, hands balled into fists as he rubs his eyes. His hair sticks up oddly and his cheeks are still flushed.

 

“I’m hot” he mumbles, eyes focusing on the screen “what’s this?”

 

“It’s called crackheads or something” Klaus says, eye not leaving the screen. The golf cart crashes into the pond

 

“Crackerheads” Allison corrects “how’s your head?”

 

“It’s fine” Five says quietly, leaning against Vanya’s arm. 

 

Five doesn’t move again, watching the movie in passive silence along with the rest of them. At some point he grabs Vanya’s hand, playing with her fingers gently, bending them and tracing patterns on her palm. 

 

The credits roll and mom stands, smiling at them all warmly 

 

“I was thinking about breakfast for dinner” she says.

 

* * *

 

Breakfast for dinner was a relatively new tradition in the hargreeves household. It was a loved tradition, but new. Mom usually made a wide variety of breakfast foods and let them go ham once she was finished. It became the favoured form of dinner quickly. 

 

Mom chose when it happened sporadically, as far as any of them could tell it didn’t have a scheduled date and simply happened when mom felt like doing it. That might be the best part about it. 

 

They still had a good 20 minutes before it would be ready though, so Five was left leaning against Vanya while the others chatted quietly about their days. 

 

Five wasn’t paying a lot of attention, his mind was on his dream. 

 

For as weird as it had been, it had been a nice dream. Five had never had nice dreams before, he never really dreamt much at all. 

 

“WeStanStanley wants you to step on them” Allison says, glancing up from her phone at Vanya, who chokes a little

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“WeStanStanley on Tumblr would like to know if you’re a lesbian and wants you to step on them”

 

Klaus snorts, barking out laughter. Five hears Diego mutter jesus christ under his breath. Luther just looks disturbed. 

 

Vanya’s face goes red

 

“Why do they want to be stepped on?” Five knows he isn’t quite up to date with modern lingo and that this is probably one of those instances, that didn’t stop his genuine curiosity on how that term came about

 

“It means they think she’s hot” Klaus says, his shoulder shaking with laughter as he reads 

 

“Pretty” Allison corrects, apparently thinking ‘hot’ wasn’t the correct word to use

 

“Vanya is pretty” 

 

if it was a term used when people think someone’s pretty or some other variation of attractive, he can understand why they would use it for Vanya. It was still a weird phrase. 

 

Klaus awe’s, wiping a fake tear from his eye

 

“That is just the sweetest thing you’ve ever said. Why are you never that sweet to me?”

 

“You don’t make me want to stab myself” Five says in reply. Diego snorts

 

“Real sweet” he mutters. Five grins. 

 

Vanya puts her hands on his forehead, holding them there for a minute

 

“We should probably take your temperature again” she says, standing up. Five doesn’t sit properly though, instead just letting his back fall against the couch, his head resting by Alison's leg.

 

Allison looks down at him with amusement 

 

“Hi” she says, Five smiles at her. He reaches up, wrapping some of her loose hair around his finger and tugging. It doesn’t do much, other than make Allison roll her eyes 

 

“You’re pretty too” he tells her. He’s sure that Allison hears it often, he’s also sure it means more coming from him. 

 

Allison smiles, sweet and genuine 

 

“Thank you” 

 

“Ben wants to know if he’s pretty” Klaus says

 

“Yes” Five says, Vanya is standing over him again now with the thermometer in hand 

 

“Open” she says and Five complies, opening his mouth and letting Vanya put the thermometer under his tongue.

 

“Still 101” she says when she pulls it out “at least it hasn’t gone up” 

 

Five doesn’t feel as bad as before now. His head was still kind of fuzzy and he was hot but he didn’t feel as bad. 

 

Horse trots into the room, brushing against Vanya’s legs and meowing in a demand for attention. She gives it to him, but only briefly, which Horse decides is an atrocity. 

 

He jumps onto the couch, standing on Five’s stomach and meowing louder at Vanya

 

“Horse, get of off Five” Vanya tells him. Horse doesn’t budge, sitting down and meowing again. 

 

Five pets Horses sides gently, feeling his body vibrate as he purrs. Vanya rolls her eyes at them.

 

“You two were made for each other” she says, forcing Diego to budge over so she could sit next to him “both of you are goblins” 

 

Mom walks back into the room, her apron still tied around her waist

 

“Dinner is ready”

 

* * *

 

Five decides he’s going to take Horse with him to dinner. He decides he’s going to accomplish this by carrying Horse from the living room to the kitchen.

 

The only problem with his plan is the fact that Horse is about half his size and fat, so carrying him was a bit of a struggle. Five tried his best though, to the amusement of everyone watching him.

 

To Horses credit, he didn’t make it any harder for Five, simply letting himself be scooped into Five’s arms and purring loudly at the contact.

 

They manage, Five letting Horse go onto his claimed arm chair. 

 

Five climbs onto his own chair, looking over at the different food set out on the table. Pancakes and waffles with various toppings, eggs and bacon, toast and fruits all spread out for them to grab as they pleased. 

 

Five still wasn’t very hungry, so he lets Vanya take his plate. 

 

She doesn’t put much on it, one pancake with syrup, blueberries, strawberries and apple slices. 

 

Mom gives him some orange juice, before going to sit across from Horse. 

 

Horse watches mom with half open eyes, Mom watches Horse with a pleasant smile, neither of them say anything. Five doesn’t know if that means they like each other or not. 

 

Five picks at the fruit slowly, swinging his legs back and forth

 

“Klaus do you want any eggs?” Diego asks. Five laughs, putting a blueberry in his mouth as the others look at him

 

“What’s funny?” Diego ask

 

“Pink eggs are the best eggs” Five recites, grinning at his siblings. 

 

He’d heard it plenty of times while he was asleep, from Statue Ben and Poodle skirt Vanya. It doesn’t really occur to him that the others won’t get his joke until he catches their confused stares 

 

“i had a weird dream” he says quickly, looking at his plate and putting another strawberry in his mouth

 

“What was it about?” Klaus asks, scooping some eggs on top of his pancake/waffle tower

 

“I was building a lego tower and you were all talking about how pink eggs are the best eggs”

 

“Really? Why pink eggs?” Klaus asks, putting syrup on his eggs. Allison wrinkles her nose at him and puts some apple slices on his plate

 

“I don’t know” Five says, taking a bite from a strawberry “Ben was a statue and he kept spitting rocks and Luther was a monkey with a wig on and Allison’s hair was purple”

 

“Purple huh?” Allison says, using a fork to put some waffle in her mouth

 

“Yeah and Diego was using the chandelier as a swing” 

 

“That’s cool, do you think the chandelier is stable enough to actually do that?” Klaus mumbles around a mouth full of food

 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full that’s disgusting” Diego says, Klaus opens his mouth wider in response

 

“You don’t get to judge me egg boy” he says, Diego pushes his face away 

 

“Klaus had a balloon daughter” Five says and Klaus pauses 

 

“A what now?”

 

“A balloon in a dress that you said was your daughter” Five says “Vanya had a poodle skirt and you were all talking about how pink eggs were the best kind of eggs” 

 

“That’s a weird dream” Luther says and Five nods seriously 

 

“It was” he says “the tower i built was really cool though”

 

He puts an entire apple slice in his mouth and the conversation moves on.

 

* * *

 

Five didn’t want to take another bath but mom said he had to. 

 

“I’ve already had one today” he protests. The others were all downstairs, he’s not actually sure what they’re doing but it’s probably better than taking a bath

 

“Well then this one will be nice and quick, i promise” mom says, carrying him to the bathroom. 

 

Five didn’t believe her for one second. 

 

* * *

 

“You really don’t even have instagram?” Allison asks. Vanya shrugs

 

“I just never really saw why i had to have it” she says

 

“Even Diego has one” Allison says “i don’t think he’s posted anything on it but he’s got one”

 

Vanya shrugs again

 

“Is it really necessary?” she asks and Allison holds her hand out, demanding Vanya’s phone

 

“No, but you’re a hot topic at the moment, sometimes it’s fun to look yourself up” Allison says as Vanya hands over her phone

 

“I thought that was the one thing your not supposed to do” Vanya says 

 

“When you want to stay on top of rumours it’s better if you do” Allison unlocks her phone “cute background”

 

It was the picture of Five asleep at the park, which Vanya had not told him about and would not tell him about 

 

“Any requests for your handle?” Allison asks 

 

“I guess not” Vanya says, leaning back on the couch as Allison goes about her mission setting up social media for Vanya 

 

“There, all done. V.Hargreeves is an officially a member of instagram” Allison says, passing Vanya her phone back

 

“I’m probably gonna change that” Vanya says and Allison shrugs 

 

“It’s your account, do whatever you want with it” 

 

They sit in silence for about a minute as Vanya tinkers before blue flashes and Five is standing in front them with his pajamas on and the prince and the pauper held to his chest

 

“We gotta go get Ben” he says, holding his hand out for Vanya to take. 

 

* * *

 

They find Klaus, who tells them that yes, Ben is going to follow them to Five’s room so he can read with them as well. 

 

Vanya keeps Five’s hand held loosely in hers to prevent the jumps he kept accidentally doing every time he got too excited and wanted to get to his room faster. 

 

“What chapter were we on?” Vanya asks, watching Five climb onto the bed, shuffling as close to the wall as possible so she can get on the bed as well

 

“Two” Five says, waiting for her to get on expectantly “Ben’s already read the book so we don’t need to start again” 

 

“Ok, that’s good” Vanya says, kicking off her shoes and sliding next to Five and opening the book. 

 

By the time Vanya reaches chapter 5, Five’s head had drooped and his eyes closed. 

 

His cheeks were still red and Vanya had been watching him wipe his nose with his sleeve continuously throughout the story but he looked better than he had a few hours ago. 

 

“Alright Ben, we should probably go now” she says quietly. She can’t know if she’s just talking to empty space or not but she thinks Ben is still there. 

 

The cold tingle down her spin as she shuts the door is all the confirmation she needs.

  
  



	23. Vanya is a sucker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll make you a deal” Five pokes his head from under the blanket “if your fevers gone down, you can come”
> 
> ___
> 
> Five & Vanya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay in this chapter, I didn't get the chance to write anything between school and doctors visits

Five wakes up alone, in the early hours of the morning.

 

His blanket is pulled over his shoulders, the prince and the pauper sitting innocently on his bedside table and Frankie tucked under the covers beside his head. 

 

He feels better than yesterday. His throat still itched and his nose was still running but the pounding headache and churning in his stomach was gone.

 

It doesn’t take him long to decide his room was too lonely.

 

Maybe some other time, he’d be against the idea of silently creeping down the hallway to Vanya’s room for no other reason than he was awake and wanted to be around her but right now he found he didn’t care all that much. 

 

Vanya’s bed was warmer anyway, softer too. Her room didn’t have the lingering smell of dust or the dull fading wallpaper that was beginning to peel. Most importantly, Vanya’s room had Vanya in it. 

 

So Five didn’t think very much of it when he pushed her door open. Vanya was still asleep, her covers strewn around her and a mess of pillows kicked onto the floor. 

 

He climbed onto her bed silently, worming his way under the covers slowly so he didn’t wake her up.

 

Five wasn’t overly tired, he’d spent most of yesterday afternoon sleeping after all, but he still closed his eyes again. Vanya rolls over, her arm dropping across Five’s middle as she wriggles closer to him in her sleep. 

 

* * *

 

Vanya wakes up with her arm around a dozing Five and her alarms muffled ringing from under her pillow. 

 

She hadn’t gone to sleep with Five in the room but she wouldn’t put it past him to have climbed into her bed at some point during the night. Quietly, she untangles herself from the sheets and silences her alarm.

 

Five makes a quiet whining nose and he blinks open his eyes, staring at Vanya with a pout. 

 

“You have work today” he says. It’s a statement but Vanya knows what he means. She has to leave again and he doesn’t want her to.

 

“Yeah, I won’t be gone for as long though it’s just meetings about recital dates and venues. It should only take an hour or two at most”

 

Five nods, still pouting. 

 

“How’re you feeling?” Vanya asks, standing up and stretching. Five shrugs 

 

“Better” Vanya opens her drawer, selecting the first things that look wearable

 

“That’s good” she says “we should take your temperature again when we go downstairs”

 

Five nods, pulling the covers over his head while she gets dressed 

 

“Can i come with you?” he asks quietly, his voice a little muffled by the sheet 

 

“What?” Vanya pulls her sweater on as Five burrows further into the cover 

 

“Can i come to the meeting?” by the sounds of it, his face is probably pressed into the mattress.

 

“I’m not sure Five” Vanya says with uncertainty. She  _ had _ seen other members of the orchestra bring their kids to these meetings before, usually they were older and tended to sit on their phones quietly.

 

Not that Five would make all that much noise. And he was technically unwell, which gave Vanya plenty of reason to bring him with her, just make an excuse about a doctors appointment straight after and she’d be all good.

 

“I’ll make you a deal” Five pokes his head from under the blanket “if your fevers gone down, you can come” 

 

Vanya can’t see his mouth but she’s pretty sure Five is grinning. 

 

“Deal”

 

* * *

 

Five swung his legs, his heels hitting the side of the bench as he waited for Vanya to finish taking his temperature. Mom was just serving breakfast, Klaus was playing with Horse on the floor and Diego was chatting quietly with mom. 

 

Allison and Luther had left earlier to do something, but Five wasn’t sure what.  

 

Vanya pulled the thermometer from his mouth, reading it carefully

 

“100” she says “your officially back to normal”

 

Five punctuates it by sneezing, which makes Vanya laughs.

 

“So i can come?” Five asks, jumping off the counter

 

“You can come” Vanya confirms. If any of them notice the mostly on the spot happy dance Five does, they don’t mention it. 

 

“Five, would you like peanut butter on your toast?” mom asks 

 

“Yes” Five says, Diego nudges him with his foot “please”

Mom smiles, nodding her head.

 

Diego was having eggs again and Klaus had settled on waffles, with different fruits piled on top but he was ignoring it in favor of Horse. 

 

Vanya was having lucky charms, which Five knows for a fact were smuggled in through her suitcase. Mom hadn’t said anything about it but Five had seen the look that Vanya had pretended not to. 

 

“We’ll have to take the bus, Allison took her car” Vanya says, sitting beside Diego and across from Five. Mom puts Five’s plate in front of him. 

 

She looks like she’s going to leave again, probably to do the dishes or something similar. Five tugs on her hand, getting her to sit beside him instead. He liked it better when mom sat with them.  

 

“Klaus, please come eat” mom says pleasantly. She looks a little out of place, twiddling with her fingers on the table. 

 

Klaus jumps up, pouting as he comes to sit down on Vanya’s other side. Horse meows, unhappy at the loss of attention as he sits on his claimed armchair

 

“Hey Vanya, while your out can you look for something for me?” Klaus asks “well, for Ben”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Some book, here, Ben made me write it down” Klaus says, pulling a slightly crumpled torn piece of line paper and handing it to Vanya

 

“Ok. i’ll have a look for it on my way home”

 

* * *

 

Breakfast is mundane, Five insists on helping mom do the dishes and lets Vanya pick his clothes for him so that they’ll still be ready to leave on time. 

 

Vanya also tells him to pick a book to bring with him, so he won’t get bored while the meeting actually happened.

 

Five ends up choosing frankenstein, mostly because Ben suggested it. Or Klaus suggested it and claimed Ben did. Not that it mattered much, Five had read frankenstein before and he liked it just fine. 

 

Vanya also made him wear his coat and the beanie Klaus knitted again

 

“Your still sick Five, if you don’t you’ll just get worse again” she had said and Five wasn’t going to argue with that.

 

Soon enough, they were walking the block to the bus stop.

 

* * *

 

Five is pretty sure it’s a coincidence that they end up at the bus stop that’s right outside ‘Schulers Books’, he can see Eddie inside, sitting at the counter and reading a thick book. 

 

There were no other customers and the sign on the door says open. 

 

Five wonders if she remembers him, or if she wrote it off as a daydream

 

“Vanya, how long until the bus comes?” he tugs on her hand gently to get her attention

 

“maybe like 10 minutes?” Vanya says, checking the time on her phone.

 

That was plenty of time.

 

Five pulls Vanya towards the door for Eddies bookshop

 

“Lets see if we can find the book Ben wants” he says. Vanya lets herself be dragged into the store, so Five assumes she’s on board.

 

Good. 

 

He wanted to see Eddie again.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay Eddie's back. I don't know how many of you actually like Eddie but I love her so she gets to come back. 
> 
> anyway, please validate me


	24. Scholars Books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey Five” she says. This was weird, she knew this was weird. Five was weird and his adorable mother-sister-whatever was probably weird as well “did you get home ok?”
> 
> __
> 
> Eddie is not qualified for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this slowly stops making sense the longer you read, it is because I am sick and very tired at the time of writing and posting

Edith Schuler, for all intents and purposes, was not equipped to deal with this.

 

She had come to work early and thankfully had not found any toddlers hiding in her store, nothing was missing and there were no stray children that could just magically disappear on her armchair.

 

She thought, that maybe, possibly, hopefully, today would be normal and quiet and boring. Then the bell above her door rang and Five came in, tugging a woman with him. 

 

The woman, who Eddie assumed was his mother or sister or related to him some how some way, was gorgeous. Gorgeous enough, that Eddie may or may not have choked on her tea when she saw her.

 

One of her hands was held loosely in Five’s, the other holding a piece of crumpled lined paper. Eddie does her best not to stare.

 

Five, does not make it easy.

 

He marches right up to her counter like he owns the place, standing on his toes to see over it

 

“Hello” he says, with the same stern seriousness as the last time they spoke. 

 

At the very least, she knew she wasn’t crazy 

 

“Hey Five” she says. This was weird, she knew this was weird. Five was weird and his adorable mother-sister-whatever was probably weird as well “did you get home ok?”

 

“Yes” Five says. The woman comes over, away from the display of books Eddie had set up this morning 

 

“Hi” oh shit. Oh shit. Oh fuck. 

 

Eddie should say something to her. Eddie’s doesn’t think she’ll be able to get more than a word out before spontaneously combusting.

 

“Uhh” smooth. Real smooth.

 

Five’s smug look of entertainment kick starts her brain and she puts on her best customer service smile. Fake it till you make it right?

 

“Welcome to Schuler's Books, is there anything i can help you with?” Eddie hates the way her voice pitches and squeaks and she hates the way her stomach is flipping. Five snorts, wandering away from the counter and towards her arm chair

 

“I was wondering if you stocked this book?” the woman asks, handing her the crumpled piece of lined paper. 

 

Eddie scanned the title. 

 

“Uh yeah, we’ve got that” the woman smiles and Eddie thinks she’s going to pass out. It wasn’t like she’d never seen a pretty girl before, Eddie had seen plenty of pretty girls before. This was just different for some reason. 

 

She shuffles out from behind the counter, towards the shelf that she is pretty sure has the woman's desired book. She needed to stop calling her the woman. 

 

“I’m Eddie, by the way” she says, holding her hand out for the woman to shake “Eddie Schuler”

 

“Oh, I’m Vanya” she says, taking Eddie’s outstretched hand. Five knocks a book off the shelf, looking at them with a shit eating grin. 

 

“Oops” he says.

 

What a brat. 

 

Eddie turns back to Vanya, watching Five put the book back out of the corner of her eye. 

 

“Are you Five’s sister?” she asks, her mouth moving before she can think. 

 

“Mother” Vanya says, glancing back at Five “how’d you know him?”

 

“Uhm” was there a way to phrase this without sounding like a creep or a lunatic? Probably not “he broke in yesterday morning”

 

Five shrugs innocently when Vanya sends him a sharp look, wandering around the store

 

“nothing has changed since yesterday, you won’t find anything new” Eddie mumbles, turning back to the shelf. 

 

“I’m sorry he broke into your store” Vanya says sincerely. She doesn’t sound surprised but given the little time that Eddie had known Five, she can guess he made life interesting enough that this wasn’t her biggest concern.

 

“It’s cool, he didn’t steal or break anything and now i have an interesting story to tell at friday drinks” Eddie says, feigning casualness.

Vanya laughs and Eddie’s heart stops beating for a second. 

 

“Your pretty nonchalant about a kid breaking into your store” Vanya says and Eddie shrugs with a small smile, eyes scanning a different shelf

 

Eddie isn’t entirely convinced Five is a kid anyway. Her running theory right now is robot, which Eddie knew better than to relay to his mother of all people.

 

“Well, when the kid brings me pretty customers the next day, it’s hard to stay mad” Eddie says, not even realising it as she plucks the book off the shelf “here you go”

 

Vanya’s pale cheeks had tinged red and Five had his eyes on them with the same dimpled grin that reminded Eddie that he was quite possibly possessed

 

“Thank you” Vanya says quickly, stumbling on her words a little. Eddie couldn’t take back what she said but she wasn’t about to acknowledge she said it, so she did what she did best and ignored it.

 

Walking back to the counter and ringing the book up for Vanya, eyes focused on Five who kept pacing. 

 

Really, a four year old should not be as intimidating as Five was, Eddie was a full grown adult and she didn’t command the same respect Five did. 

 

“Thank you again” Vanya says, paying for the book and putting it in her bag “Five, come on or we’ll miss the bus”

 

“Bye Eddie” Five says, slipping his hand into Vanya’s and waving at Eddie 

 

“Bye Five, have a good day” she says, waving back. 

 

Maybe she was a little endeared by him. That didn’t make him or his cute mom any less weird. 

 

* * *

 

Five waves at Eddie, dutifully pretending he doesn’t notice Vanya’s flustered look of confusion between them until the bell rings and the door closes behind them.

 

“You take compliments terribly” he tells her as she leads them to the bus shelter

 

“That is not the thing to focus on Five” Vanya says, right as the bus pulls up. Huh, perfect timing. “You broke into her store”

 

“You already knew this” Five says, because he wasn’t an idiot. Vanya was just deflecting “did you like her?”

 

“She was nice” Vanya says, sliding into the nearest seat and pulling Five up next to her “and i don’t take compliments terribly”

 

Five rolled his eyes.

 

“She called you pretty once and you could barely talk” he says, Vanya pokes his side

 

“That is not true” she says indignantly as Five flinches away from her finger with a smug smile

 

“Whatever you say” Five says and Vanya rolls her eyes “we have to go back anyway”

 

“What? Why? we got Bens book” Vanya asks, looking at him with confusion. Five grins, holding his hand out

 

“I’ll have to return this” he says, a little gold book charm sitting in his open palm. 

 

Vanya opens her mouth, then closes it again quickly and sighs. 

 

Five smiles sweetly at her. 

 

* * *

 

Vanya doesn’t know what to expect when she walks into the rehearsal room with Five, maybe to be reprimanded or ignored entirely. 

 

She doesn’t expect June to materialise in front of her with a cheerful smile

 

“Morning” she says sweetly, nodding down to Five “you must be Five”

 

To Five’s credit, he doesn’t say anything, simply glaring at June fiercely

 

“Sorry, he’s not fond of strangers” Vanya says, ignoring Five when he pinches her leg. June shrugs 

 

“It’s fine, i wasn’t a big talker as a kid either” she says, leading Vanya to a row of empty seats “the meeting should start in a few minutes, there’s a few other kids around if you want to go say hi to them Five?” 

 

“No” Five says simply, taking his book out of Vanya’s bag. 

 

Vanya shrugs at June, who just smiles at her return

 

“Is he a big reader?” she asks, pointing to the book

 

“yeah, one of his favourite pastimes” Vanya says, smiling at the distracted Five fondly. 

 

If June thinks it’s weird that Vanya’s supposedly 4 year old child was reading Frankenstein, she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she plows on, leading a discussion about set pieces and what they have and haven’t practices yet. Five is content to sit beside Vanya with his book resting on his knees as he read quietly, half listening to their conversation.

 

Then, of course, something goes wrong. 

 

A little girl, maybe about 6 or 7, stands in front of them, her hair pulled into a ponytail on top of her head with an oversized red bow in it. Well, actually she was standing in front of Five. She didn’t take any notice to Vanya or June. 

 

Vanya watches her snatch the book from Five’s hands 

 

“Would you like some help reading?” she asks “i’m really good at it, so i can read for you” 

 

“I can read it on my own” Five says, more patiently than Vanya had expected from Five

 

“No you can’t” the girl says laughing “your too little to read”

 

Vanya watches Five breath in deeply and shake his head 

 

“I can read just fine, give me back my property” 

 

The little girl curls her lip at Five 

 

“Your a liar, you can’t read” she says. Five pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply 

 

“Do you know what infinitesimal means?” he asks her. She shakes her head, her nose wrinkled and lip still curled 

 

“That’s not a real word” she says, crossing her arms

 

“It means small” Five tells her, reaching out and taking his book back “so when i tell you that i care infinitesimally about your opinion, it means i care very, very little” 

 

“That’s not a real word” the girl repeats, stomping her foot

 

“It’s not my fault if you’re too small minded to realise you don’t know everything” Five says, rolling his eyes and returning to his reading. Vanya’s just glad that he isn’t insulting her properly.

 

The girl apparently realises she’s being insulted anyway, stomping off.

 

Vanya sighs, thinking it’s over, only to be immediately proven wrong by the little girl coming back over with a flute player that Vanya assumed was her mother. 

 

“Excuse me miss?” she says, snapping her fingers in front of Vanya’s face, then pointing to Five “is that your son?”

 

“Apparently” Vanya mumbles. She knows this conversation isn’t going to be fun, Five is watching them with a half amused half annoyed quirk in his lip.

 

“Well, he was very rude to my daughter and i’d like him to apologise” the woman says, holding her daughter to her side

 

“Five, do you want to apologise to the little girl?”

 

“No” Five says, turning back to his book. The woman looks affronted 

 

“Excuse me?” she clicks in front of Five’s face again “that is very rude”

 

“I don’t have to apologise to her, i haven’t done anything” Five says. The woman turns back to Vanya 

 

“Aren’t you going to do anything?” she says, gesturing to Five. Vanya shrugs 

 

“He doesn’t want to apologise, so he’s not going to apologise” she says, she hears June laugh quietly beside her “look, your daughter stole his book, he asked her to give it back, she wouldn’t so he took it back. There’s nothing to apologise for” 

 

“My daughter said he called her stupid”

 

“I called her simple minded, not stupid” Five says, flipping his page nonchalantly. The woman looks like she’s going to say something, probably something that will make Five attempt to stab her with whatever weapon he had managed to procure that morning.

 

Luckily, the conductor walks in, calling for everyone’s attention and cutting the woman off.

 

* * *

 

They high tail out of the meeting once it’s over.

 

Mostly because Vanya doesn’t want to continue her conversation with the pissed off mother that June informed her was named Susan as they hurried out the doors.

 

“She’s basically those PTA mom memes on steroids” she says, walking down the stairs backwards, much to Vanya’s distress and Five’s amusement “her youngest goes to my son's daycare, i die a little on the inside every time i see her at drop offs”

 

“What was with the clicking?” Vanya asks, heart stopping every time it looked like June was about to slip

 

“I have no idea, she does it to her kids too” June says, running her hand through her hair “like they’re trained dogs, it’s a little disturbing” 

 

“She sounds like a bitch” Five mutters. June laughs, it’s all giggly and sweet sounding 

 

“Five, don’t say that so loud” Vanya reprimands. Five shrugs at her and June laughs harder

 

“You guys are awesome” she says happily “hopefully, me and Kai are going to be that awesome”

 

“Who’s Kai?” Five asks, slipping his hand into Vanya’s as they walk down the street

 

“my son” June says fondly “his favourite pastimes include pulling my hair and saying the words no, mama and kite”

 

“how old is he?” Vanya asks, her shoulder bumping into June as they walked down the path

 

“About one and a half” June says, stopping at her car. She pauses, her nose scrunching up as she turns around and puts her keys back in her pocket 

 

“do you guys want to come grab lunch with me? I don’t really have to be anywhere and my husbands on a cleaning kick so i’m trying to avoid the house for as long as possible”

 

Vanya doesn’t really know what to do. She didn’t get invited out very many places, she wasn’t sure what exactly she was supposed to say. 

 

Five decides to rescue her, tugging on her hand with skillfully faked enthusiasm

 

“Can we? Please?” he asks, tugging on her hand some more, the excited smile on his face carefully hiding his shit eating grin

 

“Um, sure, yeah” Vanya says dumbly “we can just take a different bus home” 

 

June smiles, beaming at Vanya and winking at Five

 

“Great, I know a great place not far from here. They’ve got killer milkshakes”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me all that sweet validation. also tell me if you like Eddie because I high key want to set her up with Vanya but if you guys don't want that I can do it in my own time instead


	25. Laurie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How old are you?” 
> 
> “58” Five says
> 
> “well, I’m 4” 
> 
> ___
> 
> Five makes a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,, for anyone wondering why I've uploaded a completely different chapter 25 to the one that existed yesterday the answer is I'm dumb and uploaded the scrapped draft instead of this. 
> 
> now, I introduce you to the correct chapter 25

Five could never say that he enjoyed being around people.

 

Large crowds put him on edge, conversations with strangers tended to be tedious or down right annoying but he was willing to put with that for the half hour or so it took the eat lunch in this ridiculously over crowded restaurant if it meant Vanya was smiling. 

 

It didn’t mean he was going to enjoy it. 

 

June was, as far as he could tell, a perfectly normal person. She had a son and a husband and a day job. She and Vanya had common interests, complementary personalities and a mutual desire to talk to one another. 

 

So Five doesn’t think it matters all that much if he thinks her voice is grating or her cheerful demeanor annoying. 

 

Unlike Eddie, June talks to him like he’s a child. Which he wouldn’t fault her for but found infuriating nonetheless. 

 

She includes him in the conversation occasionally, asking him questions like how what his favourite colour is and if he goes to school. Vanya watches with a cautious eye and amused smile so Five grits his teeth and answers with faked innocence. 

 

June wasn’t bad, she was polite and reacting to the situation logically based on her knowledge and assessments of his person. 

 

Five was still getting more and more annoyed the longer she talked about preschool and how much fun he would have.

 

“I’m going to the playground” he announces, swiping the box of broken crayons off the table and a colouring stencil. Vanya pauses in the middle of her explanation of a book she’s reading to nod at him

 

“Ok, try not to get killed” she says, turning back to June and resuming their conversation. 

 

Five doesn’t bother trying to unlock the gate, simply jumping through it once he’s pretty sure no one is looking. 

 

There weren’t any other kids in the playground, which suited Five just fine as he climbed through the plastic tubes. He’d only wanted to get away from the table. 

 

Sitting still and listening to conversations that bored him wasn’t his idea of a good time and if he just hid out in the equipment, he’d be able to work on his equations in peace.

 

Or at least he thought he would. He barely managed to scratch down one when someone else climbs into the platform he had decided to turn into his makeshift workroom.

 

A little girl with a pale face and wild ginger ringlets pauses at the sight of him. She doesn’t pay him any mind, passing him with a small smile before swinging her entire body down the slide as quickly as she could. 

 

Five expects that to be the end of it but she climbs back up again and again. He tunes her out, equations quickly filling up the page.

 

Then, she decides to break pattern and talk to him

 

“What are you doing?” She asks, sitting on her knees in front of him with, peering at his page

 

“Math” he tells her simply, hoping it’s enough to satisfy her curiosity 

 

“What kind?” Apparently not

 

“The kind you wouldn’t understand” he says and she nods 

 

“Can you explain it to me?” She asks, sliding beside him and holding out her hand “my names Laurie”

 

“Five” he says, taking it as Laurie smiles 

 

“Like the number?”

 

“Yes” she nods, as if that makes perfect sense

 

“No wonder you like math then” she points to one of his equations “this looks really hard, you must be super smart”

 

“I’ve just been doing it for a long time” he says, mostly because it seems wrong to tell this little girl that he is super smart when in reality he isn’t sure he understands what he’s doing in the first place

 

“How old are you?” She asks, switching from her knees to sit criss crossed 

 

“58” Five says, adding another digit to the ever growing list on his page. Laurie laughs 

 

“well, I’m 4” She holds her fingers up proudly, counting them for Five “I’ll be 5 in November, what about you?”

 

“I’m five all the time” it was a bad joke, the kind that Klaus might make but Laurie laughs again anyway, so Five thinks that’s perfectly fine.

 

“When’s your birthday?” She asks, tilting her head and her hair falling into her eyes

 

“October 1st” Five tells her

 

“That’s sooner than mine” she says seriously and Five nods “what number are you turning?”

 

“I’ll be 5” he says, because that’s what Vanya was telling people wasn’t it? That he’d be 5 in October 

 

“We’ll match” Laurie says, grinning broadly “do you want to go down the slide with me?” 

 

“Only one person is supposed to go down at a time” Five says, folding his equations and putting the crayons back in their box

 

“Yeah but we’re both small, so two of us makes one person and we can go down at the same time” Laurie says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. She crawls over to the opening for the slide “are you coming?”

 

Against Five’s better judgement, he does. Climbing to sit behind Laurie as she counts down

 

“3, 2, 1, go” she says, pushing herself down the slide and pulling Five along by the hand. 

 

they both tumble out the other end on top of one another, giggling as they pick themselves up, Laurie stumbles a little, flicking her hair out of her face.

 

“That was fun” she says, jumping a little “lets do it again”

 

* * *

 

Their food comes and Five is still in the play area, so Vanya goes to grab him. 

 

“Five?” He’s not in the immediate vicinity but Vanya can hear someone clambering through the tubes. 

 

Five’s shoes were kicked off into a corner beside sparkly pink sneakers. 

 

Then two kids come tumbling out of the big slide and onto the ground, giggling and grinning as they picked themselves back up. One of them was Five, who goes still when he sees Vanya

 

“The foods ready” she says and watches Five’s face fall.

 

“Aww” the little girl says, kicking her foot “can’t he play a little while longer?”

 

“Sorry sweetie, we’ve got to eat lunch but he can come back once he’s finished” Vanya says, smiling as the little girl perks back up. Five’s smile returns as well

 

“Yay!” The girl hugs Five’s side quickly “you gotta eat lunch super fast, ok?”

 

“Ok” Five agrees, pulling his shoes on and following Vanya out. She nudges him a little

 

“Who was that?”

 

“Her names Laurie” he says, then hands her a piece of paper with equations scribbled in crayon “can you keep this in your bag?”

 

“Sure” Vanya says, sitting down and watching Five climb into the seat beside her

 

“Hey Five, did you have fun in the playground?” June asks, picking up one of her fries. Five nods 

 

“Yes” Five says, sipping the chocolate milkshake Vanya ordered him slowly. Five eats silently, watching Laurie run around inside the play area alone.

 

Vanya and June are discussing the theory that their conductor is a vampire when Laurie notices him at his table and starts jumping up and down, waving her arms and grinning. 

 

She does a cartwheel, landing on her butt and laughing loudly. Five smiles.

 

That’s how the rest of lunch went, Laurie made silly faces, jumping around and dancing while Five watched and laughed silently, trying not to disrupt Vanya. 

 

He finished his food quickly, oddly eager to join Laurie again

 

“Can I go back now?” He asks, pushing his empty plate towards Vanya

 

“To the playground?” Five nods quickly “yeah of course, I’ll come get you when it’s time to go”

 

Five doesn’t waste much time, heading towards the playground quickly and jumping through the gate. Laurie stares at him with wide eyes

 

“How’d you do that?” She asks, astounded

 

“Do what?” 

 

“You teleported” 

 

“I have superpowers” Five says and thanks to the wonders of the child’s brain, Laurie accepts this as a perfectly reasonable explanation

 

“Cool, I can lick my nose” she says, demonstrating happily “does that count as a superpower?”

 

“Sure it does”

 

* * *

 

Vanya watches Five run around with Laurie in the playground, they climbed through the tubes and back down the slide like clockwork, not once losing interest in their little game.

 

Laurie is in the lead, from what Vanya can tell, guiding Five through the tunnels by the hand and radiating manic energy as they raced around. Five looked happy, like a real live little kid just enjoying himself. 

 

“He’s cute” June says, equally as enraptured by Fives playing “smart too”

 

Vanya hums in agreement

 

“That’s Five” she says “what’s Kai like?” 

 

“Oh, you know, a baby. He just kind of sits around and makes noise” June says with a fond smile “he’s fussy but doesn’t care if you leave him alone in a room. Fond of hair pulling and swimming”

 

“Can babies swim?”

 

“well, mostly he just floats” June says with a shrug

 

“so, Five’s father?” June trails off, clearly not wanting to make things awkward 

 

“Out of the picture” Vanya says with a shrug “he didn’t want kids”

 

They weren’t technically lies, Reginald was dead and he hadn’t wanted kids. He was more of a child soldier kind of guy. June nods

 

“I lucked out” she says “my husband? One night stand that resulted in Kai. We started dating while I was pregnant and got married a little while after he was born” 

 

Vanya laughs, sipping her coke slowly 

 

“That is some romantic comedy bullshit” she says and June laughs with her, nodding her head

 

“Yeah, I know” she says, grinning “what about you? Anyone special?”

 

“Nope” Vanya says “just Five” 

 

“Cute but really? No dates, like at all?” June asks, looking incredulous 

 

“You seem surprised” Vanya says and she nods 

 

“Um yeah? You’ve got it all, you’re cute, smart and nice” June says “plus, you play sick violin solos” 

 

Vanya doesn’t choke, she doesn’t because then that would prove Five right. 

 

“That’s very sweet of you” she manages, taking a much longer sip of her drink this time. June smiles

 

“You don’t get complimented much do you?” 

 

Well, Vanya had been complimented 3 times in the last 24 hours bu 3 different people but she was willing to call today an outlier. 

 

“Not really” Vanya confesses and June shrugs 

 

“That’s to bad, I think you deserve to hear how great you are every now and again” she says “it is only fair” 

 

* * *

 

Five finds that he’s not happy to see Vanya when he sees her standing at the base of the slide. 

 

“Do we have to go now?” He asks, ignoring the very specific whine in his voice that he knows makes him sound like a child

 

“If we want to make it to our bus on time” Vanya says apologetically. Laurie perks up suddenly 

 

“you can ask my mommy for her facebook, then you guys can set us up a playdate and we’ll get to play some more” she says brightly, grabbing Vanya and Five by the hand and dragging them to a table where a man and woman sat 

 

“mommy, this is my new friend Five and his mommy, you gotta get her facebook so we can play more” she tells the woman, taking her phone off the table and unlocking it 

 

“Hi” the woman says, smiling at Vanya “it’s nice to meet you, I’m Deb”

 

“I’m Vanya” she extends her hand and Deb shakes it. Laurie shoving the phone into her mother's face 

 

“You gotta go quick or they’ll miss their bus” Laurie says

 

“Ok Laurie” Deb says, turning to Vanya “are you ok with this?” 

 

“Uh, yeah. Yes” 

 

Deb nods, focusing on her phone. Vanya doesn’t see what she’s doing but barely a minute passes before she’s showing the screen to Vanya, her profile on display. 

 

“Is this you?” She asks and Vanya nods “great, I’ll send you a friend request and when you guys get home we can discuss a play date” 

 

Deb smiles, pocketing her phone and pulling Laurie onto her lap

 

“Say bye to your new friend baby”

 

“Bye Five, Bye Five’s mom” Laurie says, waving at them with a sweet smile. Five waves back

 

“Bye Laurie”

 

* * *

 

Five holds Vanya’s hand as they walk to the bus stop in comfortable silence. 

 

Five had made a friend. Which was weird only because Vanya had never seen Five have a friend before.

 

He’d been happy, laughing and giggling while he ran around playing. He’d looked young and carefree and nothing like the weathered, experience, constantly on edge Five that she knew. 

 

It was nice. 

 

The bus pulled up and Five lead Vanya to his preferred seat.

 

“Do you still have that paper I gave you?” He asks and Vanya nods 

 

“Yeah, it’s in my bag”

 

“What about the book charm I stole?” 

 

Vanya had almost forgotten about that. She searches around her pockets for a few seconds before finding it. 

 

“Right here” she says, holding it out for Five to see. He nods his head, suddenly disinterested. He leans against Vanya’s shoulder, eyes drooping. 

 

He’s still awake when the bus pulls up to their stop but decides he’s not walking, instead clinging to Vanya with his head buried in her neck, the only sign he was still awake the gentle patterns he was tracing on her shoulder. 

 

Vanya gets off the bus, nodding at the bus driver in thanks and standing outside Schulers Books. 

 

This would be easy. Go in, return the book charm, leave.

 

Easy.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Vanya sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. They got flirt and no one can stop me.
> 
> on another note, I have a 4 page essay due on Friday and I haven't started so like, say nice things at my funeral y'all


	26. Sweet Melodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m super sorry for how long this took to get out but schools gonna school and essays need to be written, thank you for the patience.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter

The store was quiet, only one other customer inside lingering towards the shelves in the back. 

 

Eddie was at the desk, flicking through an open book with her thin wire glasses pushed up her nose and leaning on her elbows. 

 

She looks up when Vanya walks in and smiles brightly 

 

“Hey, what brings you two back so soon?” She asks, straightening up. Vanya smiles back, handing Eddie the charm

 

“Five stole this earlier” she says, handing it to Eddie who drops her head into her hand and laughs quietly 

 

“This is so weird” Vanya hears her mumble, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. 

 

When she’s composed herself, she stands up straight and speaks with amusement in her voice

 

“They’re free” she says, gesturing to the bucket of them sitting at the side of the counter “well, they’re 50 cents but honestly? If he wants it he can have it. My Little sister makes them in bulk” 

 

“Oh, you have a sister?” Vanya asks, adjusting Five when she feels his head slump against her shoulder. She doesn’t know why, she’d already done what she had come in to do but she wants to stay for a little while 

 

“Yeah, she’s 10” Eddie says “loves making things for me to sell”

 

Vanya nods, smiling

 

“That’s sweet”

 

“Yeah, it is” Eddie nods to Five, who’s watching them with half lidded eyes “why’re you so tired?”

 

“It’s lunch time” he mumbles, probably not wanting to admit that he’d gotten into the habit of taking naps. Eddie nods her head

 

“Yeah, I take lunch time naps too” her eyes flick to the back of the store “when I don’t have company” 

 

Vanya laughs as Five nods his head weakly, she pokes him gently 

 

“Stay awake till we get home please” she says but his eyes have already closed. She rolls her eyes and Eddie laughs quietly 

 

“Ok, that’s a mood” she mumbles “so, Uh, are you trying to raise a criminal mastermind or is he just like that?” 

 

Vanya watches Eddie wince at her own words 

 

“He’s just like that” Vanya tells Eddie with a laugh and Eddie nods her head, a small smile on her face. Vanya doesn’t know why but she decides that Eddie’s smile is one of the little wonders of the world. 

 

the customer from the back of the store arriving at the counter with a book. 

 

Vanya steps aside, letting Eddie tend to them. When the customer leaves and the door shuts, Eddie turns back to Vanya, holding the golden book charm out. 

 

“Five can keep it, if he wants it” she says with a shrug. Five cracks his eyes open 

 

“I only stole it so we’d come back” he mumbles, closing his eyes again. If Vanya had free hands, she’d probably face palm but Eddie just seems amused

 

“I’m taking that as a compliment” she says and Vanya feels Five smile into her shoulder. The conversation pauses and Vanya doesn’t quite realise that her mouth is moving until it’s too late. 

 

“Do you want to get coffee with me sometime?” She blurts quickly and suddenly the gears in her head come to a screeching halt. By the deer in the headlights look she receives in return, the feeling is mutual. 

 

Vanya is about ready to bolt and never come back but then Eddie speaks, a bright smile breaking across her face

 

“Yeah, I’d love that” she says, tearing a piece of paper from the lined notebook and scribbling something down before handing it to Vanya “that’s my number, I’m free sundays and every afternoon after 4PM” 

 

“Great” Vanya says, her brain not supplying anything better for her to say 

 

“Great” Eddie repeats, smiling so brightly that Vanya can’t help but return it. Five shifts in her arm, whining quietly. 

 

“We should probably get home” Vanya says and Eddie nods

 

“Of course” she says, bouncing a little on her heel “have a good nap Five”

 

Five doesn’t open his eyes as he replies 

 

“Not taking a nap” 

 

Eddie rolls her eyes, dropping the gold book charm into the bucket

 

“Sure your not” she says quietly and turns to Vanya, wonderful smile on her face “I’ll see you later”

 

“Yeah” Vanya grins, a warm feeling pooling across her chest “I’ll see you later”

 

The bell above the door rang as she left, a soft sound that resounded through the air and made the world seem a little bit brighter as Vanya walked the rest of the block home with Five dozing in her arms

 

* * *

 

Horse greets them when they walk in to door, meowing and purring loudly as he rubs against Vanya’s legs, Klaus was laying on the floor not far from the front door and makes a small offended noise 

 

“He was giving me attention until you two showed up” he says, sitting up. His face splits into a grin when he sees Five, half asleep on Vanya’s shoulder

 

“Well hello peach, you look like you’ve had fun” he says, standing up and trailing after Vanya as she walks towards the living room. Five flips him off, opening his eyes just enough to see Klaus.

 

Klaus laughs, draping himself across the couch while Vanya deposits Five on one of the arm chairs and systematically removes his shoes, coat and hat. Horse jumping onto Five’s lap at first opportunity, not that Five seemed to mind as he absently stroked Horses furr. 

 

Five insists that he is absolutely awake enough to sit with Vanya and Klaus to watch a movie when Klaus cons them into watching the little mermaid with him. 

 

Which his how he ends up asleep with his head in Klaus’ lap during the fight between Ursula and Prince Eric, Horse pressed against his side. 

 

Vanya was curled on the arm chair, with her laptop resting on her knees. The various social media that Allison had set up for her open as she scrolled through them more out of boredom than a desire to see what was happening. 

 

Klaus was stroking Five’s head, grinning down at him every so often but attention otherwise focused on the movie. 

 

Vanya found that everything around her seemed a little brighter, a sweet smell in the air and quiet melody in the back of her mind, playing to the tune of Five’s quiet breathing and Horses purring. 

 

Today had been a good day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are good. For now.


	27. Chinese takeout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmichael wasn’t like his predecessor. He held no affection for Number Five Hargreeves, he had no ill will or history with the boy. He only had a file, brief personal observations and the rumours he’d heard on the office floor. 
> 
> ___
> 
> Something needs to be done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My essay if finally done, so hopefully chapters will be back to the regular schedule

Carmichael wasn’t like his predecessor. He held no affection for Number Five Hargreeves, he had no ill will or history with the boy. He only had a file, brief personal observations and the rumours he’d heard on the office floor.

 

Five was the best of the best, if you faltered, if you failed, you’d be dead. His kill list was always quick and clean, the longest he’d ever spent on a case was 2 weeks. Naturally the aternalis was wary of him.

 

Carmichael hadn’t been impressed when he met the commission supposed best. Five wasn’t what he had expected, he wasn’t a legend or a cold blooded killer. He was just a child, weak, defenceless and scared. The logical solution was to kill him now, before he inevitably figured out how to fix what had been done to him and came for all of their heads.

 

Carmichael wasn’t stupid. For the first time since the establishment of The Aternalis, they were running out of time. Five would fix what had been done to him, it wasn’t a case of if but when. The Aternalis knew as much, otherwise Vera wouldn’t be so insistent that the case be handled by Carmichael personally.

 

The fate of the timeline rested on the shoulders of a emotionally unstable and highly volatile child with a penchant for extreme violence and astonishing survival skills.

 

Even if Five was currently a wreck, he had been a wreck when Carmichael first met him, he’d been a wreck when he had managed to escape from the previous handlers arms in the most literal sense of the word. He’d still had that burning, intense fight behind his eyes.

 

The fight that promised violence, bloodshed and destruction if Five ever managed to let it loose.

 

And what was the aternalis doing? Sitting in their offices, holding meeting after meeting, trying to determine what path to take as if the answer was not obvious.

 

Killing Five would get rid of their most persistent problem, with the added bonus of pushing his sister over the edge. It would set the timeline back on track without a margin of error. All Carmichael needed was clearance.

 

He didn’t have any ill will, no history and no affection for the boy. What needed to be done, needed to be done and Number Five Hargreeves needed to die. Sooner rather than later.

 

* * *

 

Five wakes up sometime in the middle of Klaus and Vanya’s impromptu movie marathon, gets up silently and comes back with Frankie, before resuming his position with his head resting on Klaus’ lap.

 

At some point Diego comes home, ending up on the other armchair with Horse on his lap after the cat strong armed his way there through a combination of clawing Diego's shins and meowing loudly.

 

Five manages to gently bully mom into sitting beside him when she bustles in to clean up a little with the help of Klaus. Ben is the one who picks watching the wizard of oz, so at the very least they know he’s there somewhere.

 

Allison and Luther come home in the middle of the live action cinderella that Five of all people had chosen to watch, chinese take out boxes and shopping bags in their arms.

 

Which is how they all end up crowded around the coffee table, Cinderella paused and cartons of take out Chinese food spread out in front of them.

 

“Well, my day was fantastic” Klaus says, breaking the mildly awkward silence their eating had incurred “I played with Horse, got some painting done, hung out with Dave, hung out with Ben, hung out with this weird Russian lady who has taken up residence in the library, finished painting, stole some of Allisons skirts again, helped mom make lunch, hung out with Vanya and watched movies while Five took a nap-”

 

“I wasn’t taking a nap” Five cuts in with his mouth full

 

“Sure you weren’t peach” Klaus says, flicking Five’s nose and receiving a chop stick to the hand in return.

 

“Ow! Fucker” Klaus mumbles, rubbing the small indent Five had made

 

“Did you and Vanya have fun today Five?” Mom asks, passing a napkin to Five and wiping some sauce from his cheek. Five nods his head, trying to lean away from mom and her napkin at the same time.

 

“We got lunch with one of Vanya’s friend and then we went to a bookstore and Vanya got a date with the clerk”

 

Suddenly, all of the siblings were speaking over the top of one another. Questions about who, when, why, filling the air.

 

Five just looks pleased with himself, smugly continuing to eat his food and pointedly ignoring Vanya’s betrayed glare. She pinches him on the arm and sighs

 

“It’s not a date” Vanya cuts through the shouting, holding a hand up to silence them all

 

“Two people, mutually attracted to one another going to get coffee after awkward, painful to watch flirting?” Five says, raising his eyebrow at Vanya and subtly rubbing his arm where she had pinched him “sounds like a date”

 

Vanya looks like she’s about to strangle him, which only served to make Five’s shit eating grin widen as he tilted his head innocently

 

“We weren’t flirting” Vanya defends, her cheeks tinged red. Klaus was laughing

 

“I have eyes Vanya” Five tells her and Klaus laughs harder

 

“Yeah and they were closed” Vanya shoots back “you were too tired after playing with Laurie for an hour and a half”

 

Now it was Five’s turn to glare in betrayal

 

“Ok, we’re coming back to Vanya having a date but who’s Laurie?” Allison questions and Vanya grins, in a way that is unsettlingly similar to Fives

 

“Oh, Laurie is the little girl Five made friends with today while we were getting lunch” she says innocently and Klaus gasps dramatically, pulling Five to his side

 

“You made a friend?” He says, ruffling Five’s hair “oh I’m so proud of you!”

 

“Get off me Klaus” Five hisses, squirming away from his brother “she’s not my friend, we met this afternoon”

 

“You seemed pretty friendly when you were in the playground” Vanya shrugs “you didn’t want to leave”

 

“Yeah well..” Five trails off, then puts more food in his mouth to avoid speaking. Diego laughs, Klaus was practically cackling as he rolled to the side

 

“Oh leave him alone” Allison says, smiling fondly “I think it’s cute that he made a friend”

 

Klaus was wheezing now and Five threw one of the empty boxes at his head

 

“Shut up Klaus” he hisses

 

“No, no. Allisons right” Diego says, holding up a hand “it’s cute, little Five has a friend”

 

Klaus wheezed again and Five flipped them all off

 

“You’re all terrible” he says, kicking Klaus in the side

 

“Hey! Why don’t you assualt someone else for a change?” Klaus whines, sitting up and poking Five in the side. Five shrugs

 

“You’re closest” he says and Klaus pokes him again, sticking his tongue out at Five.

 

Mom stands up, brushing off her skirt and holding her hand out

 

“Come on Five” she says “it’s time to get ready for bed”

 

“The others aren’t getting ready for bed” Five says, crossing his arms

 

“Yes they are” mom says, waving her hand at the disaster zone of a coffee table “they’re just going to clean up first”

 

Five is pretty sure she’s lying but really he can’t disprove her, so he takes her hand and lets her lead him towards the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

“So, do you really have a date or was Five just being Five?” Allison asks, clearing off the coffee table with Vanya, Luther was washing the dishes and Klaus and Diego were arguing about if Ben had to help while taking out the trash.

 

Vanya shrugs

 

“No? Yes? We’re going to get coffee and she gave me her number and called me pretty, does that mean it’s a date?” She asks

 

“What’s she like?” Allison asks, instead of answering her

 

“Her names Eddie Schuler, She’s nice, Five likes her” Vanya says “Five broke into her store yesterday but she didn’t seem to mind”

 

Allison nods, smiling at Vanya and holding her hand gently

 

“Just be careful yeah?” She says and Vanya nods

 

“I will, promise”

 

* * *

 

Baths were boring and a waste of time. Five told mom as much

 

“Well, I’m sure if you ask nicely we could get you some bath toys to make it less boring” Mom says, gently washing the shampoo from Five’s hair

 

“But why do I need to have a bath at all?” Five ask

 

“To get clean silly” mom says, tapping Five on the nose and lifting him from the bath, wrapping him in a towel

 

“I can do that just fine with a bucket” Five grumbles as mom dries his hair

 

“Baths are much nicer than buckets” mom says, buttoning Five’s pajamas up for him “would you like me to get Vanya so you can continue reading?”

 

“Yes please” Five says, following mom out of the bathroom as the tub drains “thank you mom”

 

Mom smiles, patting his head briefly before heading down the stairs to retrieve Vanya.

 

Five follows the floorboard as he walks towards his room, sticking his arms out as he tries to follow the line perfectly.

 

He pushed his door open and stopped, staring at the intruder sitting on his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun


	28. Stitch and cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five stayed where he was, hands reaching for a knife that wasn’t there anymore as Carmichael stood, dropping the prince and the pauper onto Fives bed.
> 
> “Good evening Five” he says, straightening his tie and regarding Five with a vague distaste 
> 
> __
> 
> Carmichael enters stage left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back to my regular posting schedule my dudes!!

Five stayed where he was, hands reaching for a knife that wasn’t there anymore as Carmichael stood, dropping the prince and the pauper onto his bed.

 

“Good evening Five” he says, straightening his tie and regarding Five with a vague distaste 

 

“Fish man” Five says, glaring at Carmichael with as much intensity as he could muster, which was a lot. 

 

“I was just checking in on the progress you had made, dealing with your little situation” Carmichael says, ignoring the nickname Five had given him with nothing more than a twitch of his lip.

 

“Though, by the looks of it you haven’t made it very far” he gestures to Fives walls, where the blue and green ink was settled and slightly smudged.

 

This wasn’t like the bathroom, Five wasn’t panicing or cornered. All he had to do was yell and his siblings would be able to come help him. He knew that, Carmichael knew that. 

 

“It’s a work in progress” Five says amiably, shrugging his shoulder and folding his hands behind his back. Carmichael hums 

 

“You seem much more composed than last we met” he says. Carmichael loomed, he was tall and wide, towering over Five by a considerable amount. 

 

Five wasn’t intimidated by his size, not the way Carmichael wanted him to be.

 

“Well, seeing as emotional instability is a side effect of whatever drug the commission pumped into me i’m not overly surprised” Five says, he doesn’t move from where he was and neither does Carmichael. It was like an off brand mexican standoff, neither of them would reach for the gun first. 

 

“Yes, i forgot about the file you stole” Carmichael says “impressive work for a young child such as yourself” 

 

Five didn’t bristle or falter at the comment. He had too much experience at the hands of The Handler and her poking, prodding gaze and pointed comments to let himself be so obvious. He knew better than to let himself falter, Carmichael did not. 

 

“Well, i can assure you it won’t be happening again” he says with an oblique wave off his hand “extra cautions have been put in place for when we bring you in again, though i believe them to be unnesessary” 

 

“bring me in again?” Five questions, his back straightening 

 

“well, you don’t think we’re just going to let you run around doing whatever you like do you?” Carmichael asks, raising an eyebrow at Five

 

“What makes you think you’ll be able to catch me? I could be anywhere I wanted in the world in seconds, you’d never be able to find me” Five says, he wouldn’t leave but whether Carmichael knew that or not was a mystery.

 

“The tracker that was put in your arm during your last stint in the comission building” Carmichael says casually, strutting past Five “have a good night Five” 

 

He’s gone after that. 

 

“Fuck” Five mumbled.

 

* * *

 

The living room was quiet, Klaus’ attention was focused on attempting to braid Allisons’ hair and Vanya was laying upside down on the couch, eyes on the TV. Diego  was on the floor on his back, head twisted awkwardly so he could see as well.

 

“Five has asked if you would come read with him for a few moments” mom says quietly, standing above Vanya

 

She groans as she pushed herself to sit properly

 

“Yeah, ok” she groans. She idles for a moment, running her hand through her hair and yawning. 

 

She doesn’t get the chance to actually get up the stairs before Five has flashed into the centre of the living room 

 

“Hey-“ Vanya starts but Five isn’t listening his focus solely on Diego

 

“I need a knife” he says, holding his hand out “a sharp one” 

 

“What do you-“ Diego doesn’t get to finish his question before Five has jumped again, snatching one of the knives from Diegos Hollister “woah, Five hey what are you doing?” 

 

Whatever noise they were making, Five wasn’t listening as he dragged to knife across his forearm. Allison was up in an instant, trying to take it out of his hands, 

 

“Five!” Diego had Five held up by the waist, his arm dripping crimson “what the hell are you doing?!”

 

“There’s a tracker in my arm!” Five shouts back kicking for Diego to let him go “I’ve got to get it out!” 

 

He kicks Diego in the shin, then jumps onto the coffee table, digging his fingers into the cut he’d made. Klaus gags and Allison tries to stop Five, to no success. 

 

Five pulls his fingers out, grimacing and wincing as he holds up the small silver pill, flashing green. 

 

“Tracker” he says simply, looking smug. Klaus snatches it from Fives hand and Allison takes Five off the coffee table sitting him on the arm chair, mom has already disappeared to retrieve the first aid kit 

 

“Jesus Five” she says quietly, taking the handkerchief Luther was offering her and trying to stem the bleeding in his arm “next time, for the love of Christ, ask mom to do it” 

 

Five pauses, the smug smile on his face 

 

“I didn’t think of that” he mutters and Diego snorts, taking his knife off of Five.

 

“Clearly” he mumbles as mom re-emerges and takes Allisons place in front of Five, examining the cut briefly 

 

“You’ll need stitches honey” she says gently, taking out what she needed. Five shrugged “next time, please come to me”

 

“I’d need stitches if I came to you anyway” Five points out and mom looks at him with disapproval 

 

“Five”

 

“Fine, next time I’ll go to you” he concedes and mom nods, preparing to start stitching.

 

“What made you realise you had the tracker in?” Luther asks, offering his hand to Five when he winced. Five takes it, wrapping his hand around Luthers fingers and tugging on them to distract himself. 

 

“I got a visit from the new handler” Five grumbles. He continues on despite Diego’s growl “he clued me in”

 

“The new handler?” Vanya asks, arms crossed around herself 

 

“The one you killed is still dead don’t worry” Five says “this is a new guy, named Carmichael. He’s an idiot”

 

“What makes you say that?” Klaus asks distractedly, inspecting the tracker with rapt interest 

 

“Well, to start he thinks I’m a child” Five says “he also told me what his plan was and told me about the tracker” 

 

“What’s his plan?”

 

“Kidnap me I suppose” Five says with a shrug “he can’t kill me, he’s under orders to keep me alive but he thinks if I’m left to my own devices I’ll fuck something up, so he’s going to take me back to the commission building and holding me there until he can kill me” 

 

“No ones killing you” Vanya says, then adds “or kidnapping you” 

 

“Yeah, Vanya can just go all god mode and kill Carson or whatever his name is” Klaus says, turning his attention back to them as Luther shakes his head

 

“And then what? He’ll get replaced again and they’ll keep coming after Five” he says. Five tugs on his thumb a little harder and Luther squeezes Fives hand gently. 

 

“Well there isn’t anything else we can do” Five says “the commission is a lot bigger than the seven of us. It’s got people in higher places that I don’t know anything about, a small army of people who will shoot you without question”

 

“Oh come on Five” Klaus says as mom finishes off the stitching and begins bandaging “if there’s ever a group of people who could fuck up a god like organisation we don’t know anything about it’s us. Have a little faith” 

 

Five scoffs

 

“How is your graze?” Mom asks, pulling the bandage on his upper arm off once she was finished with his stitching. It had scarred over, raised slightly and pink but otherwise healed. 

 

“You know Five, you’re gonna have quite the collection of scars one day” mom says gently, pulling the sleeve of Fives pajamas down to his wrist 

 

“I had a collection of scars before” Five mumbles, sliding off the chair and turning to Diego “can I have a knife?”

 

“Fuck no” Diego says, snatching the only one within reach away. Five shrugs and makes his way over to Vanya 

 

“Can we go read now?” He asks, taking her hand in his own and Vanya nods

 

“Yeah, we can go read now” she says, letting Five lead her away 

 

“Come on Ben, we’re going to read now” Five calls over his shoulder, looking to Klaus to confirm that Ben was indeed following along. When Klaus gives a small thumbs up, Five continues on towards his bedroom.

 

The others are left in the living room, with twisting worry gnawing at their guts. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot? In my fluff fic? It’s more likely than you think


	29. Strawberry flavoured defiance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five was in danger, real life threatening danger, and none of them knew what the hell they were going to do about it. 
> 
> ___
> 
> Things are tense

Vanya was laying on Five’s bed, pressed against the wall with Five curled into her side, the book was open but their reading had all but stopped in favour of quiet conversation. 

 

“Have you called Eddie yet?” Five asks, Vanya’s arm was wrapped around his waist and he had been occupying himself by playing with Vanya’s fingers. 

 

“Not yet” Vanya says gently “I haven’t had the time” 

 

Five nods his head 

 

“You should call her” he mumbles, hiding his face in Vanya’s pajama sleeve

 

“I’ll call her tomorrow morning” Vanya promises, running her fingers through Five’s hair

 

“Vanya?” Five is quiet, his voice muffled by her sleeve but he keeps his face hidden as Vanya hums for him to continue “can you stay with me tonight?” 

 

“Of course” Vanya says, Five nods his head gently and wriggles under the covers, pulling them over Vanya's legs as well

 

“Thank you” he says quietly “we should keep reading”

 

“Ok” Vanya says, focusing her attention back on the book.

 

* * *

 

Ben watched Five fall asleep with his face mushed into Vanya’s arm, he watched Vanya continue reading quietly more for his benefit than her own until eventually she fell asleep too, her head slumped to the side and one hand in Fives, the book still open in her lap. 

 

It took almost 10 minutes and a lot of failure but eventually Ben managed to close the book and flick off the lights. He walked back through the academy silently, following the voices of the rest of his siblings, gathered in the kitchen drinking what Ben was pretty sure was hot chocolate. 

 

“Five and Vanya are asleep” he relays to Klaus, sitting beside him. Klaus nods his head and hums, already beginning to poor Ben his own cup or hot chocolate “I can’t drink that Klaus”

 

“But you appreciate the sentiment” Klaus mumbles back. Ben did appreciate the sentiment. Klaus turns to the others “Ben says Five and Vanya are asleep”

 

They all look so tired. Weary and worried about Five. Ben’s sure he probably looks the same. 

 

Allison takes a long sip of her drink and runs a hand over her face

 

“What are we going to do?” She asks. Everyone was wondering the same thing but no one seemed to have an answer. 

 

Five was in danger, real life threatening danger, and none of them knew what the hell they were going to do about it. 

 

“No one is killing Five” Diego mumbles, it was empty reassurance. 

 

Ben watches the rest of them finish their drinks in tense silence, he watches them put their cups in the sink and he watches Luther usher mom out of the kitchen so she can charge, he watches Luther wash the dishes and he watches the house grow still as everyone falls asleep. 

 

Usually, he’d drift back to Klaus, stay with his brother through his bouts of sleeplessness. Today he drifted back to Fives room, sitting silently on the chair and watching the rise and fall of his brother and sisters chest. 

 

He couldn’t protect them but he could watch, make sure they were still safe. 

 

So, he watched them. 

 

* * *

 

Five had a dreamless sleep. When he woke up, the sun was up and he could hear birds outside his window. 

 

Vanya was already awake when he opened his eyes, she was trying to braid a small section of his hair.

 

“What time is it?” He mumbles, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. The beginnings of Vanya’s braid falling apart

 

“Good morning to you too” Vanya says, sitting up as well “you woke up just in time for breakfast” 

 

She gets off the bed, adjusting her rumpled clothes and brushing her hand through her hair. Five was still tired, he didn’t particularly feel like walking all the way downstairs. 

 

They weren’t allowed to eat in their rooms though, they never had been. 

 

Vanya was waiting for him to get up. He lays back down, holding his arms out and whining. Vanya laughs 

 

“Use your words Five” she says, lifting him up anyway. She puts him on her back, his arms looping around her neck and face pressed into her shoulder

 

“Don’t wanna walk” he says, his grin hidden. he knows that’s not what Vanya meant and she knows that he knows that’s not what she meant, if the way she mumbles about him being a goblin is any indication. 

 

Vanya jumps down the steps because it makes Five giggle quietly into her shoulder when he gets jostled 

 

“I think mom made pancakes this morning” she says. 

 

She’s right as well, when they walk into the kitchen, mom has put stacks of pancakes in everyone’s place. Five only has two but from what he can tell he has the most whip cream and fruit, so he thinks that’s ok.

 

Diego isn’t there, mom says he would be back in a few minutes and that he’d gone to get something. Allison isn’t either, mom says that she’s still asleep, she spent most of the night up late talking to Claire over skype but she’d be up soon. 

 

Five whines sharply when Vanya tried to put him down in his own chair. 

 

“What’s wrong with you?” She asks and Five just clings to her neck a little tighter. He didn’t feel like sitting on his own today “Five, use your words” 

 

Five didn’t particularly feel like using his words. He was tired and he didn’t feel like letting go of Vanya either. He whines again and Vanya sighs. 

 

She pries his arms from around her neck and sits him in his chair. Five pouts grumpily, crossing his arms and sliding down until he couldn’t see the table.

 

“Five, sit up and eat your breakfast please” Vanya says. Five slides down further, just to be a pain in the ass. 

 

He reaches up to his plate and grabs one of the strawberries from it, his fingers get whip cream on them, not that he minds.

 

“Five, sit up properly to eat” Vanya tells him, Five looks directly at her and takes a bite of the strawberry. 

 

Klaus was looking between them, half concerned and half entertained. 

 

Five makes a show of swallowing, then repeats the process, taking another strawberry from his plate and making a show of eating it while staring directly at Vanya. 

 

Vanya moves his plate away, so he can’t grab another strawberry. 

 

Five glares at her. 

 

* * *

 

Vanya has never actually been on the receiving end of Fives serious glare, not when they were kids, not when he came back and not once during this entire ordeal, up until now. It was only a little unsettling. 

 

She didn’t think she’d ever receive the glare over a plate of pancakes but the world works in mysterious ways.

 

“Sit up and I’ll give you your plate back” she says with a shrug and Five glares at her a little harder

 

“No” he says stubbornly. It was hard to take him seriously when he was slouched so awkwardly but Vanya managed.

 

“I’m not gonna give you your plate until you sit up”

 

Five slides further down, half his body now hanging off the chair. Vanya resists the urge to pout her head in her hands. 

 

It was going to be a long morning.


	30. Be good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This episode on Five being a loveable little brat

Of all the things Allison expected to see when she walked into the kitchen it wasn’t this. 

 

She sits next to Klaus, who was observing with utmost delight 

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“Oh, Five is in a bad mood so he’s annoying Vanya by not sitting on his chair properly to eat. So now they’re engaged in a battle of wills” Klaus says, grinning 

 

“Oh ok” Allison says, taking the coffee mom offers her with a small thank you “how longs it been going on?”

 

“About 10 minutes” 

 

“Who do you think will win?”

 

“My money's on Five, he’s a stubborn little bastard” 

 

Vanya turns to glare at them sharply 

 

“We can hear you” she says. Klaus shrugs flippantly but Allison looks a little sheepish 

 

“He’s just having a fit Vanya, if you leave him alone he’ll get over it and sit properly” she says quietly, she’s pretty sure if Five hears her the likelihood of him actually getting over it was low. 

 

Vanya sighs, nods her head and puts Fives plate back in front of him, focusing on her own breakfast instead. 

 

Allison watches Fives hand appear to take a strawberry, then watches it disappear again. Then she watches him sit properly and start eating, glancing over at Vanya every few seconds to see if she was paying attention to him. 

 

“How’d you sleep?” Allison asks and his attention snaps to her

 

“Fine” he says shortly, looking away from her quickly and shoving another strawberry into his mouth. He fidgets where he’s sitting, his hand twitching towards Vanya constantly

 

“You ok?” Allison asks. She wasn’t the best with Five, that would always be Vanya or Ben, but she did care about him. He nods, twiddling with his fingers, which was enough to clue Allison that he wasn’t. 

 

Vanya finishes her breakfast, taking her plate to the sink and ruffling Five’s hair gently as she walks past 

 

“I’m gonna get dressed, finish your breakfast please” she says, dropping a kiss on top of his head as she leaves. Five leans into the touch and his face falls when it’s over, watching Vanya leave with a pout. 

 

Oh. 

 

Given who Five was as a person, it shouldn’t surprise her that when he wanted something as simple as being cuddled he would throw a fit instead of just asking. It surprised her anyway. 

 

“Hey Five, come here” she says, Five looks at her with mild skepticism but he climbs off his chair anyway, making his way around the table to her. 

 

She lifts him onto her lap easily and he doesn’t protest as she does. 

 

“What’s up?” She asks, her arms wrapped around his waist and keeping him in place

 

“Nothing” Five mumbles, leaning back against her. One had rested on hers, playing with the ring on her finger

 

“So how come you weren’t listening to Vanya?” 

 

“Didn’t know I had too” Five says, underlying defiance in his tone that has Allison rolling her eyes.

 

“You don’t have to, you just do” she says and Five shrugs again

 

“Wasn’t happy” he says simply

 

“That’s why you use your words, you gotta tell her what’s wrong” Allison says “she’ll listen to you Five” 

 

“Why do people keep telling me to use my words?” He asks, changing the topic

 

“Because you don’t” Allison says, humouring him. She drags his plate over to them “eat your breakfast” 

 

He does, tearing apart his pancake and licking whip cream from his fingers. Allison sips her coffee, resting her cup on Five’s head. Klaus takes a picture while Fives distracted but Allison flips him off, much to his apparent joy.

 

Klaus disappears after that, calling out that he’d be back later and that Ben was hanging around with Five today, so Allison assumed that meant he was going to see Dave. 

 

“So what’s got you so cuddly?” Allison asks once Five had finished his food, leaving only the tops of a few strawberries on his plate and a single orange slice

 

“I’m not cuddly” Five denies, cuddling further into Allison and ignoring her scoff of disbelief “just don’t wanna let go”

 

“why?” Allison questions, standing up and adjusting Five to her hip. She carries both their dishes to the sink

 

“Why isn’t Luther here?” Five questions, instead of answering her

 

“He went out early, he’s trying to find a job or something” Allison says, stacking the dishes in the sink “do you want to help me do these?” 

 

Five nods and Allison pulls up a chair for him to stand on. They don’t talk about anything important as they wash and dry the dishes, Five asks about how Claire is doing and Allison asks how his equations are coming along. 

 

The conversation dissolves somehow and Allison finds herself trying to remember if Tennis is an Olympic sport at Five’s inquiry. Vanya comes back in, dressed with her hair combed and silently begins to put the dishes away. 

 

“Vanya, do you remember if tennis is an Olympic sport yet?” Five asks and Vanya pauses 

 

“No, I haven’t looked it up yet” Vanya says with a shrug, putting away the last of the dishes “I gotta go to work, will you be ok here with Allison?” 

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine” Five says quietly, climbing off the chair and shuffling towards Vanya’s, hugging her around the waist. Vanya hugs him back, kissing the top of his head 

 

“I love you, be good” she says gently and Five nods. Then Vanya’s gone, leaving Allison and Five alone. 

 

* * *

 

Five stays close to Allison but he doesn’t talk to her. He just follows her around silently, glancing to the foyer every few minutes to see if Vanya had come back. 

 

It would be cute, if it didn’t make Allison feel a little sorry for him. Five was close to Vanya, he always had been, it was just a little different now. More mother-son than brother-sister as of late. 

 

He missed her.

 

Claire used to cry, if she missed Allison or Patrick. She would hide her face in pillows and cry until the remaining parent cuddled her and distracted her. Five wasn’t like Claire, he’d never even admit he missed Vanya, let alone cry about it in an open space.

 

Allison wasn’t Fives mother, she couldn’t say exactly what he needed to feel better. She could certainly give it a shot though, she was his sister after all. That had to count for at least something.

 

“Hey Five, you wanna do something fun?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the pleasure of listening to a toddler shriek their head off for a consecutive half hour, then had them rip my toilet seat off. Don’t you just love kids?


	31. Reprimand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s a make your own bracelet kit?” He asks, picking up the box and shaking it to hear the beads inside rattle 
> 
> “Exactly what it sounds like” Allison says “you get some string, some beads and some other things and you can make your own bracelet” 
> 
> “Why?”
> 
> “To pass time I suppose” 
> 
> ___
> 
> Allison and Five bond. Carmichael and Vera have a conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m super sorry for how long this took to get out, life’s been a little harder to deal with than usual so I’ve been trying to get on top of that. Thank you all so much for the patience.

The academy had plenty of places to hide things, it had unused rooms by the hundreds, storage cupboards no one knew existed, loose floorboards and holes in the walls. 

 

Allison had always preferred simplicity, she’d kept her things in a plain brown storage box at the back of her closet. 

 

“Everyone else has real hiding places” Five says, arms folded over his chest and looking at Allison “even Luther's got a better spot than a box in the back of his wardrobe” 

 

“Well, I never got caught, so clearly it’s not that bad of a hiding spot” she replies with a shrug. The box had a layer of dust on it, ‘Allison's things’ was drawn on the front crudely in black sharpie. She opened it, brushing away the dust and peering inside. 

 

“Ok, I’ve got scrabble, monopoly, make your own bracelet kits, colouring books, old nail polish that is definitely dried up by now” she takes out each item as she lists it, Five inspecting them each with mild interest 

 

“What’s a make your own bracelet kit?” He asks, picking up the box and shaking it to hear the beads inside rattle 

 

“Exactly what it sounds like” Allison says “you get some string, some beads and some other things and you can make your own bracelet” 

 

“Why?”

 

“To pass time I suppose” Allison says, taking the box from Five “if you want I can put on a movie downstairs and we can try and make some?”

 

Five looks contemplative, scuffing his foot on the ground. He was still in his pajamas but so was Allison, so really she doesn’t think it matters that much. Lazy days were always fun. 

 

“Can we watch finding nemo?”

 

“Sure”

 

* * *

 

Allison thinks it’s going pretty well. 

 

When Five isn’t focused on marlin and dory, he’s focused on the blue beads he had spread out in front of him. He hadn’t looked at the foyer at all since they came back downstairs. 

 

Allison was making one for mom now, a completed one for Claire sitting beside her. Five was still on his first one but all things considered he was doing well. His tongue was poking out from between his teeth as he tries to thread a bead onto his band. 

 

Mom had set out a small plate of fruit a little while ago, that Five had distractedly taken pieces from only to hand them to Allison for her to eat every few minutes. 

 

He manages to thread the bead through and smiles proudly to himself, glancing at Allison to see if she noticed, when she nods her head at him with a smile, he turns his attention back to his bracelet. 

 

Five held up his completed bracelet proudly, holding it directly in front of Allisons face. The beads were all blue, except for one purple on in the middle

 

“It’s super good Five” Allison says, taking it to tie the ends for him and Five preens, fidgeting with the hem of his pajama shirt and smiling giddily

 

“I’m making one for Vanya as well” he declares, pulling the box towards him and selecting what he wanted from it “do you think she’ll like it?”

 

“I think she’ll love it” 

 

Finding Nemo ends about halfway through Five’s second bracelet and at Allison's suggestion they end up watching Finding Dory next. 

 

Five alternates between staring at the screen with rapt attention and threading the beads onto Vanya’s bracelet with intense determination to finish it. 

 

“I like the octopus” he mumbles, threading a purple bead onto the band. Allison turns to face him 

 

“Hank?” 

 

“Is that his name?” Five asks, attention no longer on the conversation. 

 

“I think it is” Allison says with a shrug “Claire really liked this movie”

 

“It’s a good movie” Five mumbles, threading the last bead and handing it to Allison for her to tie “do you think Vanya will like it?”

 

The bracelet matches Fives, all purple beads except for one blue one in the centre 

 

“She’ll love it” Allison tells him, handing it back to him. Five smiles, setting it aside. 

 

They watch the rest of the movie in relative silence, Five occasionally asking a question or making sarcastic comments until the credits roll

 

“what do you want to do now?” Allison asks. Five shrugs, slumping back on the couch and watching the credits.

 

* * *

 

Carmichael was used to being reprimanded by now. Still, it infuriated him whenever he was. Especially when it was Vera, standing in front of him in all her 5’2 blazing glory of rage, yelling and pacing.

 

“He took his tracker out!” She seethes. Carmichael stays seated behind his desk. “He took is tracker out because you told him it was there!”

 

“Vera, he’s a small child. He’ll still be in his house”

 

“Unless his family decides to pack themselves up and go into hiding!” Her heels click loudly with every step she takes across his floor. If they were anyone else, this meeting would be much more formal. “Carmichael, you weren’t supposed to engage!”

 

“The kid is a threat” if he remains calm, keeps his voice even then maybe, maybe Vera will listen to him

 

“What happened to thinking it was a glorified babysitting job?!” Vera’s heels slips as and she stumbles, she glares at Carmichael when he stands to help her “move and I shoot you”

 

She straightens her skirt and runs a hand through her ponytail, sighing loudly 

 

“The aternalis is so close to making a decision Carmichael, one that works in our favour. So please, for the love of god, you either get a detail on him or you put another tracker in his arm” 

 

“What do you mean in our favour?” Carmichael asks,rounding the table to stand closer to Vera

 

“they’re so close to letting me keep Five alive” she says, sitting down on the couch. She slumps her shoulders, looking much more tired than she’d ever allow outside of closed doors

 

“You want that?” Carmichael asks “he’s a pain in the ass and a threat to the timeline”

 

“The timeline’s under revision, I’ve told you that already” Vera says with aggravation, glaring at Carmichael “if the aternalis decides to go down the route I’m hoping they will, then the world has a second chance and for that to happen, Five needs to stay alive and supervised” 

 

“Well, there isn’t much I can do now Vera. The trackers out and if Five is as smart as everyone keeps saying he is then he won’t let me get close enough to put a new one in”

 

“Well maybe you should’ve thought of that” Vera grumbles, standing and straightening her skirt again, smoothing out the wrinkles in the fabric and adjusting her ponytail. Back to the perfect picture of professionalism, not a trace of the stress she was feeling on her face “get a detail on him and start taking your job seriously” 

 

“Of course” Carmichael nods, holding his hand out to her. She allows him to hug her lightly “have a good afternoon Vera”

 

“You too Carmichael” she says, pulling back and exiting his office with one final sigh. 

 

Carmichael sat back at his desk and resisted the urge to slam his head against it. He needed to get a detail on Five.


	32. You look good in green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya didn’t necessarily have to be here right now. Actually, to put it truthfully, Vanya was only here because she wanted to be. Rehearsal had ended an hour ago, the one child she had to teach today had come down with the flu, so really Vanya could just head back to the academy and Five.
> 
> Instead she was outside Eddie’s bookstore, debating whether or not going inside would be creepy or not. She felt a little bad about it, but she wanted to stay away from the academy for as long as possible.  
> ___
> 
> Vanya and Eddie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta da, I’m not dead. I wrote this in 10 minutes, it’s not great, it’s an interlude I guess. I’m just trying to get back into this story one step at a time and I really wanted to get something out today. I’m sleep deprived.

Vanya didn’t necessarily have to be here right now. Actually, to put it truthfully, Vanya was only here because she wanted to be. Rehearsal had ended an hour ago, the one child she had to teach today had come down with the flu, so really Vanya could just head back to the academy and Five. 

 

Instead she was outside Eddie’s bookstore, debating whether or not going inside would be creepy or not. She felt a little bad about it, but she wanted to stay away from the academy for as long as possible. 

 

She could see Eddie through the door, leaning against the counter and biting her lip as she flipped through a book. Her glasses kept slipping down her nose, so she’d push the sleeve of her overly large sweater up and use the back of her hand to slide them back into place. 

 

Vanya watched her do that maybe 5 times before she realised it was much creepier to just stand outside and watch her than go in and talk to her. So she pushed the door open, the little bell ringing above her head. 

 

Eddie looked up and Vanya felt her heat skip a little at the wide smile that spread across Eddie’s face when she saw Vanya. 

 

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon” Eddie says and Vanya smiles at her while she tries to formulate a sentence 

 

“Sorry I haven’t called yet, Five’s been keeping me busy” she says and Eddie’s smile widens even more somehow 

 

“I can imagine” she says, marking the page in her book and closing it “I don’t see him with you, so is it safe to assume you’re hiding?”

 

“I’m not hiding” Vanya defends, albeit weakly, seeing as she was technically hiding “I did want to see you”

 

“Of course you did, I’m a goddamn delight” Eddie says sarcastically and Vanya laughs despite herself 

 

“I had work, figured I’d stop by before i went home” Vanya explains, leaning against the counter. Her face was closer to Eddie’s now but she wasn’t nervous “Fives at home with my sister, wreaking havoc I assume”

 

“As smart kids left to their own devices tend to do” Eddie says with a shrug. Her glasses slip down her nose and she slides them back up, pushing down the sleeve of her sweater.

 

“You look good in green” Vanya says, before her brain can catch up with her mouth. She would be mortified, but Eddie smiles and blushes, so Vanya knows she’s said the right thing.

 

“You would hope so, it’s my favourite colour” she says, winking at Vanya. It was easy, talking with Eddie,  _ flirting  _ with Eddie. That was strange for Vanya, a good kind of strange. 

 

“Mines purple” 

 

“It suits you” Eddie says. Vanya knows her own cheeks are tinged pink but she can’t be embarrassed by it when Eddie shares the same shade of dust rose across her face. This was nice, Vanya decides. Strange, but nice. 

 

“How’s work been?” Vanya asks

 

“Slow, I had a lady come with a huge gold brooch thing and that it the most interesting part of today” Eddie says happily “I love slow days, means I get to read and chat up pretty girls”

 

“You make a habit of chatting up pretty girls?” Vanya teases and she’s smiling, like smiling  _ smiling,  _ because she’s happy and relaxed and entertained

 

“Only the ones whose kids break into my store and cause general confusion and mayhem”

 

“As smart kids left to their own devices tend to do” Vanya echoes and she doesn’t have to wonder what it means. Five with idle hands was a dangerous thing, really, any one of them with idle hands was a dangerous thing.

 

“Speaking of smart kids, what’s got you avoiding yours”

 

“Nothing, he’s just a brat” Vanya might feel bad about saying it if Five was her actual son but the matter of fact was that he was her hobgoblin brother. Eddie snorts

 

“Isn’t that his default setting?”

 

“Yeah” Vanya says fondly “he’s got communication issues”

 

“Not shit, he’s a four year old” Eddie says with a grin “a smart kid without the ability to properly articulate what they feel is a nuclear meltdown waiting to happen” 

 

Vanya only just noticed how much closer to her Eddie had gotten over the few minutes they’d be talking 

 

“Do you have any pets?” Vanya asks, changing the subject. Eddie rolls with it

 

“A cat, her names Bindi. Do you?”

 

“I feed this stray my neighbour named Horse and he’s decided he’s my cat now” Vanya says and Eddie giggles

 

“You named your cat Horse?”

 

“My neighbour did”

 

“That’s a great name” Eddie says and her face is so close to Vanya’s. Close enough that she’d barely have to move forward to close the gap between their lips. But she doesn’t, because that’s not how she wants to do this. 

 

“So, about our coffee date” Vanya says, hoping Eddie doesn’t hear the way her breathe catches 

 

“What about it?” Eddie asks and Vanya tries, tries, tries not to look at her lips or notice the shiny lip gloss she’s wearing or the one freckle just above the corner of her mouth that’s a little darker than the rest of the freckles dusting her face. 

 

“You up for this Sunday? Around noon?” Eddie grins, it was a little crooked, despite her teeth appearing to be perfectly straight. Vanya loved it. 

 

“Well, for a pretty girl like you I’d have to be” she says “you can pick me up, I’ll text you my address. You can meet Bindi”

 

“I’d love to meet Bindi” Vanya says and Eddie nods. The bell above the door rings and their bubble is broken 

 

“I should head home” Vanya murmurs, as Eddie’s eyes reluctantly focus on the customer that had just walked in 

 

“Tell Five I said hi” Eddie says, squeezing Vanya’s hand gently, before turning her full attention to the customer “Hi, welcome to Schulers bookstore, is there anything I can help you with?” 

 

Vanya smiles as she leaves and she smiles as she walks home. She’s smiling as she walks through the door and she likes it. She likes the feeling of happy but strange. 

 

She likes Eddie. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Validate me please I love you all


	33. Five, Diego and doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five wasn’t bored and he wasn’t fidgeting because he was bored. Allison had put on another movie but Snow White hardly held his attention the same way finding nemo had.
> 
> —
> 
> Five gets bored and decides to look for mom. He finds Diego instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s up my dudes, it’s been like a month, i’ll Be honest I got swamped with school then completely forgot about this story until I opened by docs yesterday to start a new project. So,,I wrote this and now I’m posting it. Enjoy.

Five wasn’t bored and he wasn’t fidgeting because he was bored. Allison had put on another movie but Snow White hardly held his attention the same way finding nemo had. 

 

They’d cycled through every treasure and board game Allison had. Five won scrabble, Allison won monopoly. The colouring book was open in front of him, at least three pages complete. Allison had stopped colouring a while ago, her attention flicking from Five, to the movie, to her phone. 

 

Five was beginning to wonder where Vanya was. Well, he knew where she was. He was wondering when she’d be home. Allison had done a good job of keeping him occupied, he’d admit that much, but he wasn’t distracted anymore. 

 

“Where’s Vanya?”

 

“She’s at work”

 

“I know she’s at work, she should be home by now”

 

“Maybe it ran late” Allison offers instead of telling him where Vanya was and Five doesn’t pout about it, despite what Allison may tell you. 

 

He was swinging his feet, kicking the couch with the back of his heel. He hadn’t slept today but he hadn’t been doing enough to really warrant a nap. Board games and movies hardly expended any energy.

 

He slides off the couch and Allison’s eyes flick up from her phone at the movement

 

“I’m going to find mom” he says. He doesn’t need to find mom but he figures it’s like a game of hide and seek. Mom could be anywhere in the house and looking for her would keep him occupied better than Snow White ever would. 

 

Allison nods her head and Five sets off. He checks the most obvious places first. Mom isn’t in the kitchen, the laundry, the garden or by the portraits. So Five starts to systematically check every single room. Which amounted to walking down every corridor and opening every door he happened upon. He wasn’t aiming to be effective, he reasoned to himself,  just entertained. 

 

Mom wasn’t on the first floor. He’d passed Allison again while she was on her way to the bathroom. Mom wasn’t on the second floor and he passed Diego. He didn’t even know Diego was home yet.

 

“Do you know where mom is?” He asks and Diego pauses on his way down the hallway. Diego generally always knew where mom was. 

 

“No, why?” Five shrugs

 

“I’m bored, so I’m looking for her” He almost tacks on  _ like hide and seek _ , but refrains. 

 

“Do you want me to help?”

 

“Do you know where she is?”

 

“No but I know where she might be”

 

“She’s not downstairs or on the first floor” Five relays, accepting Diego’s help as they begin to travel back down the hallway towards the third floor. Five didn’t really know what he’d do once he found mom.

 

Maybe pester her into making peanut butter cookies with him, he has a vague memory of doing that with her as a child once, when Vanya had been upset and crying about Diego or Luther doing something mean to her. They might have been 5, maybe 6 at the time. 

 

“Do you think she’ll make cookies with me?” He asks, not really to receive an answer but just to fill the mind numbing silence. He’d never been a fan of the quiet. 

 

“Probably”

 

“I made peanut butter cookies with her once” Five continues. This would be easier with Klaus because Klaus did all of the talking. Diego wasn’t much of a conversationalist “you or Luther upset Vanya when we were younger and I wanted to make her feel better so I got mom help me make peanut butter cookies”

 

“That sounds nice” Diego says placatingly and Five rolls his eyes, not that Diego can see. 

 

“You suck at holding conversations” he says and Diego shrugs 

 

“I don’t need to do a lot of talking”

 

“Talking’s better than silence” Five mumbles and opens another random door. Another empty bedroom. 

 

“Why are you opening every door?”

 

“To be thorough”

 

“No one’s been in half of these rooms before, including mom” Diego says, closing the door as Five moves on to the next

 

“Well maybe she decided she was going to clean every inch of the house, so I’m being thorough” Five shoots back, opening the next door. He doesn’t even glance at it before closing it again, because Diego was right. No one came in half of these rooms.  

 

“What’s up with you?” Diego asks, walking behind Five now instead of slightly behind him. Five scoffed and crossed his arms, glaring his best ‘your an idiot’ glare up at Diego 

 

“I told you, I’m bored”

 

“So play those games in the living room with Allison” Diego suggests and Five rolls his eyes again 

 

“I already have, all I’ve been doing today is playing board games with Allison” Five grumbles “that’s why I’m looking for mom”

 

“To make peanut butter cookies with her so you won’t be bored?” Diego asks. Five opens another door and lets himself swing with it. Empty as well.

 

“Yes”

 

“Five, mom might not even be home” Diego says and suddenly Five stops where he is

 

“What?” He asks, spinning on his heel to face Diego

 

“She might’ve gone out” Diego says, much more patiently than Diego usually was with people “she does it a lot now buddy”

 

It hadn’t even occurred to Five that mom might have left the house. She’d always been there the first time he was small, always been ready when they got hurt or needed help. Now she could leave and she wasn’t always there anymore. 

 

Fives eyebrows had pinched together, his mouth forming a thin line. He looks frustrated and just a little sad as well. 

 

“If you want, I can help you make the cookies?” Diego suggests quickly. He wasn’t good at cooking but he could follow a recipe just fine. Probably. He was willing to try if it meant Five wouldn’t look like someone kicked his puppy though. 

 

“Can you even cook?” Five snarks half heartedly, but he’s taken Diego by the hand and started leading him back through the halls towards the kitchen. Diego rolls his eyes at Five, ruffling his hair and swinging him up onto his shoulder, receiving an indignant yelp in response. 

 

“How hard could it be?” He asks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments please I beg you. Also, thank you for coming back to this story even after the long ass wait your all awesome sauce


	34. Authors note

Hello everyone who’s still reading this story, 

I’ve run out of steam for writing this story and my love for the umbrella academy has faded to being basically non existent so the chances of me updating it are pretty low. This being the case, I’m seeing 2 options

1\. I leave it how it is but put a notice of hiatus, on the off chance that when season 2 rolls around I get back into it 

2\. I mark it as incomplete and discontinued and we all move on with our lives

either way, I won’t be updating for a while so if you guys do want a chance for this fic to continue if I get back into umbrella academy just let me know and I’ll mark it as on hiatus and work on the chapters slowly when I get the inspiration or whatever. 

As always I hope you all have an amazing day and thank you for sticking with me through this self indulgent series

 

 


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